Expert: Jessica - 1/2/2009

Question
Hey! okay im 19 yrs old and im a full time college student and throughout my high school years i've only been attracted to guys, but since i've been in college i find myself sexually attracted to girls to, and its really confusing, i cant talk to any friends or family about it because im affraid they might not be excepting of me. butt the crazy part about this is that my older sis is a lesbian and when she came out my family gave her hell but i was always excepting of her, but im scared if i tell them i might or am bi they might not want anything to do with me.  so what do you think i should do????

Answer
Hello Jasmine,

Thank you for your question.

A homosexual is someone who is physically or sexually or emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite sex as him or her. The attraction(s) for bisexuality do not have to be the same. It could be 60% guys and 40% girls, it is still considered as bisexuality.

How about a counselor in your school? Could you open up with him or her?

Your family needs to understand that a person doesn't make a conscious choice to be gay. Homosexuality stems from either a learnt behavior or hurts, wounds, issues. Having said that, have you ever been abused (physical, verbal, sexual, emotional)? How about raped or molested? Are your parents divorced? There is no solid scientific proof that gay is a result of chemical imbalance or due to hormones. I believe that homosexuality builds up depending on the environmental factors.

An example: Jim didn't have many friends in school and hang around with the girls only. So, he got picked on and bullied by the boys. However, he found ways that could please his boy classmates and lead them to accepting him. How did Jim please the boys? By maybe doing anything he was asked of. Simple situation of neglect affects psychologically. I know, high level of complexity.

May I know whether your parents are Christians thus they are so not accepting of homosexuals? If so, do let me know and I will be able to quote you relevant Bible verses for you to show it to them.

In the mean time, you may want to question yourself whether you are financially able to support yourself without the help of your family. This is because your parents might want you out of the house if you were to come out to them. Always a possibility but not necessarily a probability.

I hope that I have helped you and do feel free to write back anytime.

Take care,

Jessica