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You are here: Experts > Teens > Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens > Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens > Best Friend
Expert: Danielle - 10/26/2009
Question
I've known my best friend since 6th grade. We clicked instantly. In 7th grade when she walked into one of my classes i suddenly wanted to walk up to her and hold her hand. I've always thought it was a teenage "phase" to have feelings for your best friend of the same gender, but now its been 5 years and i've kept this secret to myself. Throughout all these years there were instances where she would hook our legs under the desk or she'll sit on my lap when we're alone. I've always wanted to tell her but i've always had "what ifs" in my mind. She used to lean her head on my shoulder in public and i shrug her off jokingly.I've always hated myself for doing it but i was selfish and wanted to keep rumors from spreading. Now she's usually just a friend towards me but when we're alone she would act like she used too (Though many times she would act different and that's when my doubts start to settle again). How do i know if she actually have the same feelings for me? She never claimed that she's a lesbian but never had a boyfriend either, and shes always had a tomboyish taste in clothes. Is it all just best friend relation ship or is there something else?
Answer
Hi Sable :)
Only she can tell you. Maybe her feelings are confusing to HER, and she's working them out. Who knows, but we can see a few things. Some people will act that way with just friends-it's just how they are. But for others it's something more. You could ask her-either directly or about something else. Like "would you ever have feelings for another girl?" and see what her response is, and maybe that'll get you somewhere where she'll give a more definitive answer. That way you don't have to ask her specifically about you if you'd rather not, and she can give a simple 'yes or no' answer.
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