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You are here: Experts > Teens > Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens > Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens > bisexual or bicurious?
Expert: Sandi - 10/26/2009
Question
Hi, I’m 17 and was wondering if you could answer the question of whether I’m bisexual or not. I’ve only been attracted to three girls before, and fantasized about making out with them. Two of them were friends of mine, who were both bisexual, and the third girl, an actress on a show I watch… and I’ve watched lesbian porn before and liked it. I can also imagine dating one of the friends, but the other I only want to make out with, because I don’t like her anymore. The friend who I don’t like, has also hit on me sort of, she’s like groped me.. But I don’t think she was serious, and it turned me on. I’ve started developing these feelings more and more, since the middle of this year. Like first it was just that i wanted to make out with a girl, then i started contemplating touching, and liking the way this one girl looked in a short skirt. It originally started in eighth grade when I got the first crush on one of my friends. She moved away, so I didn’t think about it too much, but now I can’t stop thinking about her, and these feelings… so do you think I’m bisexual or just bi-curious? Because I can’t stop thinking about all of this, and when I think about the fact that I might be bi, it feels right, and good, but scary. I really want to tell my friends and change my orientation online to bisexual, but is it okay to do this? Am I really bisexual, or just going through a phase? People say you don’t become gay, you just don’t realize it, or try to repress it, and I’ve always been really interested in gay rights… so maybe part of that interest had to do with me actually being bisexual, and I just didn’t know it? I’m in GSA at my school too… I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like a phase, yet I don’t instantly become attracted to someone. It’s always gradual. So maybe I’m bisexual and just picky, and tend to become attracted to girls only once I’ve developed a more emotional connection with them?
Answer
my opinion on this whole bi or bicurious is this...i always tell people to experiment with their sexuality before they label themselves. go out with both guys and girls. see what you like. your young and i wouldnt try to call yourself bi until you realy know for sure. a lot of girls (me included :) like to experiment and have fun with other girls. i dont consider myself bi even though i like to have sex sometimes with girls. i still find guys attracted and i feel like someday i will settle down with a guy. but for now i am just having fun with girls. i dont want to be married with kids and then decide i want to experiment with girls :) hope that helped. please let me know if you want to talk more
sandi
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