AboutMatt Expertise I can answer questions on coming out, sexuality confusion and reactions from friends and family - I have been through all of this myself. Feelings, thoughts and does the "he/she like me" stages too. I may be younger than some of the experts but I am talking from 1st hand experience and I know what it is like. Having problems at school or don't know how to tell people? I can help with that too. Don't hestitate to ask me your questions, I am here to help.
Experience I am a bisexual teen who has come out to family and friends. I have been through the stages of "Am I gay or am I bi?", the reactions and opinions of students at school and also had trouble from people because of my sexuality. It is something I feel strongly about and want to help others, like AllExperts helped me.
Education/Credentials I am still in full-time education and have taken my GCSE's. I have got 10 A-C at GCSE and am now at Sixth Form studying for my AS & A Levels in ICT, RE & Psychology.
Question hi, i dont know if u remember me, but i asked for some advice about a month ago concerning my feelings for a friend. sometime after you gave me advice, i started to get my life back together, he was straight so there was nothing i could do... thats what i told myself. but the situation has become complicated. with rehearsals for the fall play, midsummer nights dream oddly enough, my firend mary, the only person i had talked with about being bi, came up to me and and told me outright that he was dating another friend of mine, charles. i was relieved at first, i mean, this was great, but at the same time it meant that my fears ruined anything that could have been between us.
still i couldnt be sure, so i got up the courage to ask charles and when he told me it was like i died. i love him more than anything and because i wasnt strong enough he fell in love with charles. i see him every day and it was killing me inside. it got to the breaking point at rehearsal a couple weeks ago and i confessed to likeing him. he was ok with it and said wed still be friends, but ive been there before.
i told my friend cristina that very same thing years ago, and while were friendsi know i cant see her as anything more than ayounger sister. im just afraide that the same thing is going to happen with him. the last thing i want to do is to hurt him or charlses for that matter, but theres a part of me that wants to steal him. im trying hard to just be his friend and i keep falling to pieces around him. is it wrong to want him to love me? i dont know what to do. on top of that, what do i do if he really does come to like me, i dont want to lose charles as a friend.
Answer Hi John,
I know it's hard when someone you like goes out with someone else, but as you have said you want him to be your friend and I'm sure you want him to be happy, and if Charles is doing that for him then you need to leave them to be happy. It could last a few weeks or a few months, but you need to back off now as this guy is taken, and the quicker you back off, the easier it will eventually be. As if you try to hang on to any hope for a long time, it will only get harder to let go. You have told this guy you like him, he knows and still wants to be your friend so that is great and you should continue being his friend if that's what you want - if that causes too much pain for you then maybe you should try and see him less.
You don't want to get into the game of hoping and trying to chase this guy as it will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Sorry I maybe didn't say what you wanted to hear, but I hope you will be okay and find someone else,
Matt :)
