Expert: Brandon Young - 6/27/2009

Question
Hi, Brandon.

My name's Brandon (just like you), and I'm thirteen. Well, um ... this is pretty awkward, but I like another guy in my class. Yes, ANOTHER guy. Like, I AM a guy myself. He's just really cute, compassionate, helpful, funny, and there's this inexplicable aura about him. I just feel better in his presence. He always makes me feel good inside. Consequently, I can't help but infatuate him!

So, um, there are three HUGE problems:

1. The boy I like is heterosexual. I think.

2. Since these tenacious homosexual feelings are new to me, I denied them, and pretended to hate my crush. Now that it's summer, he still doesn't know that I want to AT LEAST be friends with him.

3. I am, and always have been, awfully shy--ESPECIALLY around him (well, duh).

The two of us have talked on MSN a few times before, and he seemed to be genuinely interested in me. For instance, one of our conversations had lasted 2 whole hours. He's really nice to me, he floods me with compliments, and he really seems to admire me. He MAY like me back for the following reasons:

1. I see him staring at me quite a lot, but when our eyes connect, he looks away.

2. He's unbelievably shy around me.

3. He laughs a lot more than normal around me.

4. Some of my friends who have befriended him have told me that he talks about me sometimes.

5. He signed my yearbook and said, “Maybe we'll have more luck next year. You're a pretty sick guy.”

I've liked him for over 9 months now! The problem is that he advertises himself as STRAIGHT! I really, really like him! My love for him burns with the power of a thousand suns. I want to at least become friends with him! What can I do? Can I impress him somehow? How can I build up the courage to talk to him in person? How should I approach him? Alternatively, is there some way I can get over him? I'm sorry this was so long, but please help me, Brandon!
                               
                                                                                     Sincerely,
                                 
                                                                                     Brandon

P.S. He doesn't have a girlfriend (anymore).

Answer
Hey Brandon! Cool name :)
Well, first off, it sounds like you may already be "friends". I mean taling on MSN for 2 hours is pretty impressive.
Now with dealing with the crush. Let me tell you, I have had so many crushes on guys who are straight. Its totally normal.
But this seems differnt because the way he acts towards you could come off as him admiring you too.
Online chats to me are the best way to break something like this. Maybe randomly bring up gay people. What does he think about them? And if hes cool with it, maybe tell him you are. I really liked this guy freshman year and online I did the same thing. When i told him i was, he said he was BI! And guess what, he became my first bf! :)

But now, you want to make sure its easily done and not awkward. If he states he doesnt like gay people, drop the subject. It seems like it wont be too too hard to get over him once you find somebody for you. When you really fall in love (and you know it) you wont have feelings for anyone else.
Just give it time, and see what will grow.

MY overall advice: talk to him, ask him about gays (not at first or blantly, but when the conversations allows) and if he rebutes it, drop him.

Hope this has helped.
Let me know if you have anymore questions!
-Brandon :)