AboutDanielle Expertise I can answer questions about coming out to friends, family, others in your life (students at school, other relatives), homophobic people around you, anything to do with one's sexuality, including all the many sexual orientations. I may not be able to give a perfect answer every time, but I'll definitely try my hardest to help.
Experience I have many friends who are gay or bisexual; I am myself, as well as a closeted family member.
Organizations N/A
Education/Credentials I'm still in high school, but I don't think that limits how much I can help someone.
Question QUESTION: ok so u can call me skittles. :) this is going to be kinda hard to explain right but i cant figure it out by myself so i figured i would give this a try.
Just this past summer i came out about being Bi, i kinda thought i was but was always afraid to admit it to myself let alone anyone else. I came out to my best friend... Jade (not her real name of course) and well it was cause she asked me if i had honestly ever thought about her like that.... well long story short she apparently liked me and we ended up getting together. I was away at vacation tho so when i finally got back i was esctetic to finally be able to see her again. my gf.:) unfortionately our parents had a big fight over myspace and we werent able to see each other for more then a week. And by the time we did see each other she had gotten a bf, even tho we technically never broke up. Even when they did break up tho which was only a day later actually she still didnt get back with me. She said she didnt know how things would work out now that our parents were fighting. I was just really sad because i knew she had just got scared off tho. SOOO...we still stayed really good friends tho and eventually even tho we never got back together we actually did kiss. nothing big, no tongue but it was sweet... but anyways a pic was taken of us kissing and it got sent around school and she started pushing me away because of all the stupid rumors and talk. I made it through that and ppl at school got over the fact that i'm bi and everything was finally good again. Our friendship survived but its never been the same.I'm a stronger person since all that happened at the begining of the school year and i'm proud of myself for overcoming all the ridicule so nothings to be regretted. BUT i still cant figure jade out. Were still friends but we fight all the time now over stupide stuff, and sometimes things are really good and sometimes things are really bad. She has times when she is so flirty with me and we have so much fun and then something goes and ruins it. She always teases me and talks about doing stuff with me and then says just kidding. and Sometimes she has actually tried to start something with me and then gets all nervous and laughs it off. The times that we've actually done stuff she gets mad at me of just blows it off and i REALLY dont understand her. I asked her if she still had feelings for me one time and she said yes, actually she did, she also thinks about me like that alot too. Then she said that she wouldnt get back with me tho because she wouldnt want to ruin our friendship. WHICH is pretty much torn to shreds most of the time anyways so i just dont get it. Also it bugs me cuz when ppl ask her if she is bi too she always changes her answer depending on when. Sometimes she answers with no she isnt, and other times she says she is just bicurious. One time she actually told me that she didnt believe that i was actually bi she said i was just going through a phase, and then she turns around and checks out girls in front of me all the time. She gets mad at me when i have a girlfriend and she always ends up hating the girl of something, and that could be cuz i havent had the best girl with girl relationships OR does she just not want me to be happy. I dont know what to do anymore, what is up with her? Why is she so confusing i just dont get it. Their was a time when i actually loved this girl and then all this drama and confusion and she is always making me mad, starting fights, and finding ways to hurt me. I dont love her anymore but i would really like to know why she is being like this you wouldnt beable to help me would you!? Please i have no clue what to do with her anymore, she's supposed to be my best friend and she sucks at it. plz help me. :(
Thanks so much <3
Skittles
ANSWER: Hi Skittles (cute name) :)
Congrats on coming out and getting through all that!
Maybe she's not fully comfortable with her sexuality, and that makes her feelings difficult. That would also make coming out difficult-as does social surroundings. If she fears rejection, she'll probably say no. Maybe it was the kissing pic that made her distance herself. It's awesome you've tried talking to her about it-you said "I dont love her anymore but i would really like to know why she is being like this you"
Did you ever say THAT to her? It's great. Let her know that it's the last time you'll ask, and you value her friendship, but friends don't push each other away.
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QUESTION: hi danielle,
Thanks about the name. :)
Thats kinda what i thought too but its just our friendship has just gotten so messed up. more and more. i just didnt know. i have told her that i wasnt in love with her and i told her how i did feel about her but things never really got through to her idk. BUT i thought since you were so great on trying to help me it kinda makes me feel bad so i should let you know that like right after i posted the question me and her got into a really big fight and i told her i couldnt put up with her drama anymore until she could at least admit that everything she's done wasnt right. you see me and her have a lot of problems more then what i've said and we get into fights and somehow i always end up the bad one but the thing is i'm not afraid to admit when i am wrong and i apologize and well yeah....she just wont admit it and so i told her i couldnt be friends with her again until she can get over herself.
thanks so much anyways
ANSWER: :)
That's good. Friendship is a two-way street, and she hasn't been doing her share. Thanks for letting me know :) Hope you're doing alright.
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QUESTION: :) Yes, i'm doing great actually. I got a girlfriend and things were doing okay, but i just found out she might be cheating on me. I have to wait til she gets back from vacation to talk to her about it, and even though it sucks i'm trying not to let anymore things get to me right now. So surprisingly still doing okay lol. :) Thanks for asking.
Answer Hold strong! You're doing amazing. When I was dating and my now ex told me they "almost cheated on me", I did not stay so strong, I totally admire you. It might take a bit, but you're going to find if not one, many great partners who don't cheat and you have awesome relationships with.
