Expert: Brandon Young - 6/19/2009

Question
Well I really have no interest in guys my age but when I look at pictures of older guys I get turned on. Then I am very much attracted to people of my same gender, female. Even girls my age I'm attracted physically and emotionally. While men it just seems like none of my friends get why I don't go on dates with people in my grade. Then I am basically head over heals for this girl in my grade and she absolutely hates gay/lesbian/bi people her age. I've tried my hardest to not like her but it won't work. One other thing, my best friend is the only person that knows all of this and shes okay with it but she doesn't think that I should be able to get married to someone of the same gender of me. She says that marriage is something between a man and a women and that she wouldn't come to my wedding (this is like a long time from now mind you). My questions are am I gay/strait/bi? What should I do about my crush? And lastly how can my friend accept what i am but not want me to be able to get married. Oh wait one more question How should I come out to my parents? I've wanted to come out for the longest time I haven't found the courage to.

Answer
Hey Jaden!
Well, aren't you just full of wonderful questions! :)
First, I would say your "Jaden-sexual". I dont think labels are really needed. You know what feels right, and you know who you want to be. Mind you, that may change in weeks, months, years to come. You are attracted to both sexes, but mainly women. THis shows you could have sexual experiences with a man, but could only have a relationship with a woman. Be free to experiment and see what you like! You may be surprised of what you find.

Second, CRUSHES :)! Crushed. I couldnt even list all the people I have crushes on. Take for example, I have a crush on BRad Pitt. But, ofcourse that would never turn into a relationship. Its ok to like someone, but dont hold your breath on this one. You'll find someone good! :)

It seems like your friend does accept you, but still not ok with gay marriage. Take my dad, he loves me and accepts me, but would vote "no" on gay marriage. She can still accept you, but have her own beliefs. It is very hard to change someone's beliefs. In my opinion, be happy that you even have her to talk to! SHe could of turned her back.

Coming out. PHEW. This is a tuffy. In my coming out to my parents, I took it verrrryyy slow. First, you need to make sure your very certain. If you are then heres my advice. Find someone, family memeber, family friend, someone whos an adult who you know will be completly cool with that fact. Mine was a family friend who was very accepting of all people. Then have them with you when you tell them. Tell them slowly and make sure you state that you dont want it to change anything between you guys. But in all cases, be ready to handle both possibilities. (THeir fine with it, or their devastated). Mine were devastated, but have grown to accept it.)

I wish you the best of luck with it all!
LEt me know if you have any further questions!
-Brandon :)