Expert: Danielle - 6/27/2009

Question
I'm 17 years old. Recently ive been getting alot closer to this girl Paige i use to be best friends with in grade 6. I hadn't seen her in a long time until i saw her at my friends party, she was super hammed and when i walked into the door she walked up to me hugged me and tried kissing me. I was completely sober at the time and im not like that even if i think the chick is hot. This girl Paige is known to be a slut, but by the looks of it, it seems shes only a slut when shes drunk. Also, she doesn't have a father figure in her life so to best knowledge, i feel like she trys to fill that empty space but hooking up with guys in her life since she doesn't have a dad there, cause i know girls that don't have dads are usually sluts. The second day we hung out at the same house but another party, we hooked up. We also had like a 30 minute conversation and she was telling me about her she likes girl and she wanted us to secretly be girlfriends and go to the movies. Also, one thing you should know she gets a lot of black outs when she drinks. The next day i said something about us going out in a jokingly way but she never responded. After all that, we still talked but not a whole lot. In the past month though we have been hanging out alot. We have the same friends and we go to this kareoke place most of the time. When we go we usually sit beside eachother, and if not we just sit beside our other friends. The other night i tried kissing her on the lips before leaving kareoke it was just me and her and she kissed me back really quickly, and then i was like why are you like that ! and shes like the people i hang out aren't like that! and im like oh well noone can see us!

When ever were at kareoke and across from eachother we look at eachother and she smiles and i smile and we laugh. It usually last for about 4 seconds and sometimes i cant handle it cause shes sooo cute and so i just turn away and laugh. One day she called me the day after we hooked up and she actually talked to me about our hookup which i found really suprising. . because i thought she was ashamed of the whole situation and would rather avoid it. Anyways we don't hook up everytime were together drinking but we do about half the time. The other night i was at a party without her and i called her and we talked on the phone for a whole hour and i loveddd it :) and we've had a couple other long convos on the phone. The thing is, im not sure if she just sees this as a friendly phone call. We also text alot, i wouldn't say that i text her first all the time but id say i start the conversation more often. When we text,i don't want to be annoying and keep on carrying on the conversation. Its hard to tell if shes just replying to be nice because some times and she answers like she doesn't wanna carry on the conversation. I do this too though, because i don't want to seem desperate.  She also takes a long time to reply to my text's, not all the time but alot of the time. I find this weird because when were together she always has her phone in her hand :S.A couple a nights ago we were at kareoke and i was so bored so i said i was going to leave and she said no come over :S so suprising. So anyways we took a cab to house and we went into her bed and hooked up. The next morning we have a long talk about just random things and like other lesbian girls too and just random stuff. it was a good talk, and while we talked she laid close to me and at one point kind of cuddled my arm then we decided to have a nap and woke up at the same time. We have so much in common and were both extremely hot not to be cocky or anything. Its so hard to find a girl that is good looking and has a good personality, and i want to know if shes into me! Sorry for the details but i just want to make it easier for you to answer.

Answer
Hi Kaylia :)

Not all girls who don't have a father figure hook up alot, and even if they do, it's not necessarily looking for one. But you're right-some girls do do that, and it's a problem. Try not to use the word "slut" negatively-if she's sleeping around and/or hooking up a lot, that's just her expressing her sexuality-hopefully in a healthy way she enjoys.

The text thing-this is just my thought, from my own experience. If I were to have feelings for someone, or I saw I got a text that I knew was going to arouse emotion in me, I put it off for a bit. I do it with e-mails too-they make me jittery/nervous. Not that that's what's happening, but just so you know that her not answering back soon doesn't mean she's avoiding you even though it can certainly feel that way.

Haha-calling yourself and her hot isn't cocky! That's great confidence, keep it up. And it really does seem like she's into you. Providing so many details only helps me try to formulate the best advice, so thank you for it. I can't think why she'd be hooking up and be intimate with you if she doesn't have feelings. Of course only she can tell you, but it certainly sounds like she does.