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Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/Sexual preference? Confusion?


I'm 19. I've only ever dated guys (two serious relationships), but lately I've been thinking, I can see myself being with a girl. I've realized that the two guys I dated, I wasn't into their looks but rather their personalities. Come to think of it, I'm rarely attracted to a guy. At this point I have no desire to really even DATE a guy. About a month ago, I started hanging out with this someone and we started to get closer but I broke things off with him because I honestly couldn't see it going anywhere. I had no desire to kiss him or express any sort of feelings with him. He was awesome, funny, respectful, everything. But I just couldn't see it going anywhere.

I still like sex with guys though. I've actually only just wanted sexual relationships with a guy but when it comes to an ACTUAL relationship, I think being with a girl would make me happier. I've only kissed girls when I was drunk, so I have no other experience to really base this off of. I don't know if this is a phase, or what? Help?

Hi Shauna :)

Kissing while drunk still "counts" if you want it to, it's about what it meant for YOU. I don't think the word phase is the most accurate description. There are many self identified bisexual people and other non heterosexual individuals who at different points throughout their lives, they feel a certain kind of attraction more so towards one sex, etc. Many feel attracted to different genders in different ways-like what you said, feeling X type of attraction to men and Y type to women. That might change or evolve over time, but there's no point stressing about an unknown future! But what you identify as is 110% up to you and ONLY you. I hope that provides something for you, if not, feel free to let me know!

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens

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I can answer questions about coming out to friends, family, others in your life (students at school, other relatives), homophobic people around you, anything to do with one's sexuality, including all the many sexual orientations. I may not be able to give a perfect answer every time, but I'll definitely try my hardest to help.


I have many friends who are gay or bisexual; I am myself, as well as a closeted family member.


I'm still in high school, but I don't think that limits how much I can help someone.

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