Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/Please help

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QUESTION: I need help. I love my bestfriend but I don't know how to tell her that I love her. I think about her a lot somethimes even in front of her and I have had the weirdest dreams about her.. I really want to tell her that I love her but i am afriad. How do I tell her that I love her? (both of us are girls)
Please help if possible
Thanks

ANSWER: Hi Rachael, thanks for writing. May I ask how old you both are? I think you need to be wise about how to express your feelings. Depending on where you live, there are some cultural and geographic considerations to take into account.

Do you know if your friend has any same-sex tendencies or feelings? What is her view on homosexuality? How long have you been friends for? I don't know if she is liberal, tolerant or homophobic.

As a rule of thumb, I think friendships are best preserved and not risked unless the feelings are impossible to ignore and if that happens be prepared to risk/lose it all.

Hope that helps somewhat,

Chrissy

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok. We are both 15. I don't think she has had any feeling towards a girl in that way. She doesnt mind gays and lesbians. We have met people who are lesbians but she didn't seem to have a problem with them.

Answer
Hi Rachael,

It sounds like there's not enough evidence to figure out how she'd react to you admitting your feelings. I'm not sure if she'll have more of an issue with the gay aspect or the friend aspect (if she has an issue at all).

I wouldn't want to advise you to be foolhardly and rush into this. It's possible that it's just a phase. I'm not sure how long you've had these feelings but it's not unusual for girls to have these extend feelings of friendship towards each other.

Chrissy

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens

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Chrissy S

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to coming out, relationships, dealing with men/women in romantic contexts and general anxieties about dating. I can also answer questions with self-confidence and presenting yourself well i.e. "love coaching" to make yourself as eligible as possible. I've also had a lot of examples when things have gone 'badly' and can advise how to make the best of things and get back on your feet.

Experience

Being openly bisexual I have experience in dealing with men and women and the nuances of being in relationships with both. I also am a bit of an old-fashioned romantic so have ideas and suggestions for dates and surprises, romantic etiquette and fun tailored to both men and women taken from my own experience (good & bad). I've also had many interesting adventures in the dating world which have given me a bit of rounded perspective with things. And having graduated from Uni I too am experiencing a transition from college to 'real world' dating which shapes my view on things. I've gone from a sofa Romeo to a real one (matter of opional!) which has taught me much about applying oneself to romance.

Organizations
University LGBT Society.

Education/Credentials
University and Masters graduate in Literature and Film Studies so I am well-read which gives me somewhat of a grounded 'academic' view on things. I've also read many books on Love, dating and related subjects. Likewise with movies. I'm also a bit of an old-fashioned nerd so am quite into a good date and know some hotspots in London, not to mention a good love poem which never went awry. Avid believer and reader of personal development materials so can help people with self-improvement or at least refer them to a useful book.

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