Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/biproblems

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Question
Hi, I'm finding out that I'm probably bisexual. I'm 14 (female) and I have a hard situation. I recently finished this summer camp. I was practicing basketball and there's this counselor that's 17. I really like her so I added her on facebook. I have talked to her once and i found out some stuff about her. The next time I tried to talk to her, she didn't answer me and she hasn't. She doesn't know I like her and we don't know each other very well yet. I want to be in a relationship with her but she doesn't answer my attempts at conversations and I sometimes feel like I'm just annoying her or wasting her time. So, my question is: 1. Should I keep trying to talk to her or just stop, and 2. Should I try to become closer to her or just tell her how I feel and get to know her if she's willing to, say, go out with me?

Answer
Hi Caroline,

Thanks for writing. Firstly let me apologise for the delay. I had trouble with my account and wasn't aware that I was getting questions so I didn't read your message until today!

To be honest, it's very natural to get crushes on authority figures when you're in your teens. She's older and in a position of authority and this can be very attractive. However since you are 14 and she's 17, my advice would be not to pursue this. If she is aware of your crush I suspect she would be distancing herself due to this reason. I'm not saying that the age difference of 3 years is the issue but rather the relative ages between you guys. Believe me if you were 27 and the other person were 30 then there would be no problem. However there are a certain amount of life experiences that a 14 year old will go through in those 3 years which are very formative. I don't think you would have much to relate with each other.

On the bright side, getting crushes on people are a great feeling and part of the experiences which will make you a lot more rounded as a person.

Hope that's helped!

Chrissy

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens

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Chrissy S

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to coming out, relationships, dealing with men/women in romantic contexts and general anxieties about dating. I can also answer questions with self-confidence and presenting yourself well i.e. "love coaching" to make yourself as eligible as possible. I've also had a lot of examples when things have gone 'badly' and can advise how to make the best of things and get back on your feet.

Experience

Being openly bisexual I have experience in dealing with men and women and the nuances of being in relationships with both. I also am a bit of an old-fashioned romantic so have ideas and suggestions for dates and surprises, romantic etiquette and fun tailored to both men and women taken from my own experience (good & bad). I've also had many interesting adventures in the dating world which have given me a bit of rounded perspective with things. And having graduated from Uni I too am experiencing a transition from college to 'real world' dating which shapes my view on things. I've gone from a sofa Romeo to a real one (matter of opional!) which has taught me much about applying oneself to romance.

Organizations
University LGBT Society.

Education/Credentials
University and Masters graduate in Literature and Film Studies so I am well-read which gives me somewhat of a grounded 'academic' view on things. I've also read many books on Love, dating and related subjects. Likewise with movies. I'm also a bit of an old-fashioned nerd so am quite into a good date and know some hotspots in London, not to mention a good love poem which never went awry. Avid believer and reader of personal development materials so can help people with self-improvement or at least refer them to a useful book.

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