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Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up!


Hi! I know I'm only 14, and this whole "falling in love" thing is just a phase I guess. But it feels real to me. I am bisexual and I have fallen in love with a girl (who is a lesbian) who happens to be my best friend. We flirt a lot I guess you could say, she calls me beautiful, and compliments me, and she once said "If I'm 30 and not married, will you marry me?" (I don't know if that's flirting, but it is to me.) One night, she got mad at me because I wouldn't tell her who I liked. My friend Ivy told me to just go ahead and tell her I like her, and so Ivy decided it would be a great idea to open a three way chat between me, Ivy, and Maggie (the girl I like). I told Maggie that I liked her, and she reacted with a "WHAT?!?!" and that was it. She later became comfortable with it, and would talk about it a lot. One night, I was having one of those "down days" when I felt ugly and like a loser. And my "proof" was that no one ever liked me, and I had never had a girlfriend/boyfriend when everyone else had. I posted a status saying that for the rest of the day, I would just go crawl under a rock and cry. Because I saw Maggie liked another girl (leading to the sadness). She messaged me saying "what's wrong?" and I refused to tell her until she pestered me into telling her. But I didn't say it was because of her at first. I said "Because I'm an ugly loser. Happy? Can I be left alone now?" She then said the normal friend reply, "no you're not." she then stopped the conversation and went through all of my photo's saying things like "Damn girl. You so gorgeous. Ugh. I hate life. Why can't I look like you?<3" and "G.o.r.g.e.o.u.s what does that spell? India" and even "I am in love." I told her to stop and she says "I am being 100% serious. You are fucking gorgeous. Like ohmygosh. You are so gorgeous. Ever since i met you i thought you were so pretty. I was actually jealous. Yeah me. I was jealous. So you gotta know i think yyou are so fucking gorgeous." and when I said "whatever. No one even likes me. I'm ugly, Maggie. I know it's true." and she goes "You just dont think they do. And please dont me jealous of me. All i am is a drug head. You dont want to be like that. And everone that calls you ugly. Are fucking jealous. If i hear someone call you ugly when i get back to school i will go up and beat there fucking head in. Because all they are is jealous. And i actually like you alot. I am like in love with you. So when yoh say you are ugly and shit. You aren't." and then I stopped talking to her and so she POSTS A STATUS saying "Okay guys. My bestfriend. Yeah you all know her. She is freaking Gorgeous.♥
P.s- i am in love with her. Shh." And I felt she really liked me. But she constantly talks about how she's a player and she doesn't know how all these girls keep falling for her. The other night, she told me that she didn't want to date me because she knows that she would hurt me, and she doesn't want to lose our friendship. I feel so strongly about her though. Every time we're even in the same room, I get butterflies, and not just, little tingles all over my body. And when I talk to her, I don't know what to say and I look like an idiot -.-

So, I guess I'm asking a lot of things, here.
Am I being played?
Does she actually like me, maybe?
Should I make this try to work out?
What should I do?
And for God's sake,

Thank you for investing your valuable time in reading this, you have no idea what it means to me. I have asked this question 9 TIMES on yahoo answers, and on other websites, but I never need a variety of opinions, because I really like this girl. More than I have ever liked anyone in my life (and I have liked A LOT of people) and I need to make the best choice possible. Because I don't want to ruin this friendship, but I want to be something more than friends so badly...Thanks again. And sorry for the length.


For starters, just because you are 14 doesn't mean you can't fall in love. However, keep in mind that this is a crucial - even critical - time in your life (whether you believe it or not). The early to late teen years can be a living hell (socially, emotionally, and mentally). Sometimes your feelings will get the better of you, so it's best if you keep a calm, cool and collected head about you.

Now, based on the common sense of things from reading about your plight as well as a deep well of personal experience in this issue, the best advice I can give you is not only to be careful, but also to just stop. Breathe. Don't over-analyze, don't over-think. Just STOP.

If Maggie has flat out told you she is a player that is a very good sign to back up and put your feelings aside. Keep her at the same distance she is keeping you. Do not (and I cannot stress *DO NOT* enough) try to make anything happen. If it does, great; if it doesn't, accept that. The ball is in her court now, all you can do is wait. Sometimes the friend zone is the safest zone for everyone involved.

Hope this helps.

- Robbie

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Robbie Francis


I can answer just about any question on being gay (including but not limited to: coming out, curiosity/experimenting, dealing with family/friends/depression, etc.). I cannot tell someone specifically how to come out, but I can at the very least help guide them in the right direction (coach them, give them some friendly advice). I can advise and suggest ways for people to deal with bullying, depression, and self-rejection as well.


I am gay, I came out when I was 15. I had been bullied since the time I was in elementary school, but said "enough is enough" when high school came around. I've been put through the trials and tribulations of peer bullying and came out smiling. I was also the President of the Westmoreland County Community College Gay-Straight Alliance for two semesters, serving as Vice-President and Treasurer/Secretery prior to that (I've advised young LGBTQ people many times.)

CURRENTLY: Sigma Alpha Pi (The National Society of Leadership and Success), Freemasonry (Shidle Lodge #601), Big Brothers Big Sisters (of the Laurel Region, Greensburg, PA); PAST: SHS Environmental Club (VP 2 yrs.), SHS Drama Club, SHS Student Council, Outdoor Odyssey (peer mentoring program, Boswell, PA), WCCC GSA, WCCC Student Government.

Teen Ink Magazine, Fall 2010 issue (book review for Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol)

Graduated Southmoreland HS (Alverton, PA, class of 2010), attended Westmoreland County Community College for two years (did not obtain a degree), currently attend Douglas Education Center (Monessen, PA).

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