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Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/Struggles with my best friend

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My best friend has a few disabilities that he's very shy about. He's legally blind and he has trouble swallowing so he has a feeding tube in his stomach. I met him while volunteering at the nurse's office during freshman year in high school and we're now college sophomores and roommates together. He's confided in me with just about anything; he's told me his feelings, thoughts, and desires, and he's shared his more emotional side with me. I can't count how many times I've been there for him while he's cried. College life has been very hard on him because the university isn't as accommodating for his disabilities as our high school was; they're still up to code, but he feels like a burden more than an equal. His peers aren't exactly understanding either, and neither are his teachers. He's had a couple of emotional breakdowns since we started college together and it doesn't seem like his situation is getting much better. As his best friend, I'm not sure what else I can do except be there for him and give him all of my love and attention.

If that weren't enough, I'm gay and, as you can expect, being his friend for so long and being so intimate with him emotionally has made me extremely physically and mentally attracted to him. He knows I'm gay but he doesn't seem to know that I'm attracted to him. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to take advantage of him, especially with his current situation. I've given him mental and emotional comfort and I want to give him sexual comfort too; but as I said, I'm afraid he might think I'm trying to take advantage of him when he's so fragile. I've held him, grasped his hand, wiped away his tears—I've just never had that sexual connection with him and it's beginning to eat me up inside.

Some extra info:

He's said he's bisexual, but he's never had a sexual experience with another person before. He lost his eyesight in 7th grade so he knows what the male and female body looks like.

Thank you for your help!

-Joseph

Answer
Hey there Joseph, it's nice to hear from you.

If the guy is Bi and your Gay then ask him out and see what he thinks. I'm a big believer that dating should happen after you have a solid foundation of friendship, so your able to build a relationship on top of that if you both feel that it's right. If you were to date someone who you never met before, it's more likely to be on shaky ground since you really don't know each other. So that would be another positive in my opinion that you have going for you two.

If you’re concerned about taking advantage of him, casually ask him out when he's not stressed about anything. For all you know, he could be into you and be too shy to make a move. From what you told me, you'd likely have to be the one that would make a move if you wanted something to get going. This guy can speak for himself and if he's not interested, I'm sure he'll have no problem saying "no" to you.

I'd wish you luck with everything, but I'm sure you won't need it.

If I can help any further, feel free to send me a follow-up.
Josh :)

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Josh Hawkins

Expertise

I am a gay man and a recent graduate of an Adult Psychology program and graduated with honors. As a result, I would like to assist anyone out there with any type of challenge that they may be facing. Before I list the type of questions that I may answer, I would like to encourage as many follow-up questions as possible. I'm not here to help you once and leave. I'm here to help you with your challenge every step of the way, until it's 100% completed. Some of the examples of types of questions that I may answer for you include: coming out, various questions of the gay community as a whole, negative feedback, how to handle stress and the emotional roller coaster you may be on.

Experience

I have studied in the post secondary education program of Adult Psychology taught at International Career School Canada. While studying in this program, I have learned comprehensive knowledge on a wide variety of psychology topics. Some examples of the types of topics covered in the program were: learning about the views of emotion & how it is linked to motivation, how we learn and the long term effects based on it, the process in which we think and how we affect others with it, how to control stress, how we are all individually different, our personality behavior, how to improve and change our behavior, and how others affect our feelings and happiness.

Education/Credentials
I have graduated with honors in the Adult Psychology program at International Career School Canada. I also have a second major in General Business, completed in College. In High School I have earned: The Business Certificate, a Certificate of Outstanding Achievement in Science, and a Certificate of Outstanding Achievement in Religion.

Awards and Honors
I have graduated in my Adult Psychology program with Highest Honors and a 97% overall average.

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