You are here:

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/In love with my best friend

Advertisement


Question
I think I'm in love with my best friend... I get bullied by girls and boys for being short and being told I look like a girl. But, I can't help how I look! My friend has always protected me even though he's a popular athlete. We've been friends since elementary school. He's funny and nice and has a amazing smile. Sometimes he says things like, "You're so cute" and ruffles my hair, I know he's joking but, I get butterflies whenever he says it. I want to tell him but...I'm too scared and too shy.
I don't know what to do because I never had feelings for anyone before.I mean I can't just tell him, "I love you". What do I do? Does he feel what I feel?

Answer
Hi Yuta,

Thanks for writing. First of all, let me say that there is nothing with the way you look or how you are. Sometimes young people can be very cruel but you should know that once school is over and done with, you have your whole life ahead of you to be who you are. I am glad to hear that you have friends and it's important to have a strong support group so you can enjoy your time in education and make the most of getting good grades.

It is normal for gay and bi people (and straight people) to have crushes on their friends. Or even to feel like they're in love with them. Sometimes this also has to do with age. When you're younger and haven't had a large experience of emotions sometimes you think a crush feels like love. You feel how you feel.

Also, if your friend defends you and is popular it is understandable how you would attach fond feelings towards him.

The thing is, it is hard to identify if he also has feelings for you. Does he know you are gay? Does he flirt with other guys? Has he had girlfriends?

If you guys have been friends for a very long time, usually this means that those romantic feelings disappear. You feel like siblings and I suspect this might be the case here. I have a feeling he sees you like a brother to take care of. However this shouldn't make you sad. You have the love (albeit platonic) of a great guy which means you are great too.

Chrissy

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Chrissy S

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to coming out, relationships, dealing with men/women in romantic contexts and general anxieties about dating. I can also answer questions with self-confidence and presenting yourself well i.e. "love coaching" to make yourself as eligible as possible. I've also had a lot of examples when things have gone 'badly' and can advise how to make the best of things and get back on your feet.

Experience

Being openly bisexual I have experience in dealing with men and women and the nuances of being in relationships with both. I also am a bit of an old-fashioned romantic so have ideas and suggestions for dates and surprises, romantic etiquette and fun tailored to both men and women taken from my own experience (good & bad). I've also had many interesting adventures in the dating world which have given me a bit of rounded perspective with things. And having graduated from Uni I too am experiencing a transition from college to 'real world' dating which shapes my view on things. I've gone from a sofa Romeo to a real one (matter of opional!) which has taught me much about applying oneself to romance.

Organizations
University LGBT Society.

Education/Credentials
University and Masters graduate in Literature and Film Studies so I am well-read which gives me somewhat of a grounded 'academic' view on things. I've also read many books on Love, dating and related subjects. Likewise with movies. I'm also a bit of an old-fashioned nerd so am quite into a good date and know some hotspots in London, not to mention a good love poem which never went awry. Avid believer and reader of personal development materials so can help people with self-improvement or at least refer them to a useful book.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.