Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/question

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Question
I'm a 15 year old bisexual girl and I have a huge crush on a friend of mine, also a girl. Last year, she told me she was bi too. But she's only dated guys since then as far as I know. (Which of course doesn't mean she isn't bi but anyways) Sexual orientation can change throughout people's lives. So I guess my question would be, is there a way to ask her if she still identifies as bisexual without being weird or awkward?

Answer
Hi Kayla,

Thanks for your question. I agree with what you said, especially in females, sexuality seems to be more fluid - whether due to society 'allowing' women to be more flexible or just because women really are more fluid.

I think the least awkward way to ask your friend would be to make it playful and lighthearted. Perhaps if you turned it into a game like asking who your celebrity crushes are? She might have more male than female crushes. Or you could ask for her top 3 from either gender. Then the conversation could lead to sexuality (as you would subtley steer it in that direction).

Or another way might be for your to mimick her and speak as if you were her - like an impersonation. The you can make these claims that she's bi or gay or straight in a joking way for her to say yes or no to. Like I said, remember to make this playful and make sure she knows you are teasing in a harmless way.

Those are a couple of ideas but the point is to use comedy and comfort to help her to open up.

Hope that help :)

Chrissy

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens

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Chrissy S

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to coming out, relationships, dealing with men/women in romantic contexts and general anxieties about dating. I can also answer questions with self-confidence and presenting yourself well i.e. "love coaching" to make yourself as eligible as possible. I've also had a lot of examples when things have gone 'badly' and can advise how to make the best of things and get back on your feet.

Experience

Being openly bisexual I have experience in dealing with men and women and the nuances of being in relationships with both. I also am a bit of an old-fashioned romantic so have ideas and suggestions for dates and surprises, romantic etiquette and fun tailored to both men and women taken from my own experience (good & bad). I've also had many interesting adventures in the dating world which have given me a bit of rounded perspective with things. And having graduated from Uni I too am experiencing a transition from college to 'real world' dating which shapes my view on things. I've gone from a sofa Romeo to a real one (matter of opional!) which has taught me much about applying oneself to romance.

Organizations
University LGBT Society.

Education/Credentials
University and Masters graduate in Literature and Film Studies so I am well-read which gives me somewhat of a grounded 'academic' view on things. I've also read many books on Love, dating and related subjects. Likewise with movies. I'm also a bit of an old-fashioned nerd so am quite into a good date and know some hotspots in London, not to mention a good love poem which never went awry. Avid believer and reader of personal development materials so can help people with self-improvement or at least refer them to a useful book.

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