Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/Lesbian?

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Question
I'm a 13 year old girl. I know I'm young and I shouldn't have done a lot of things I did and adults say that we don't understand a lot of things but I need help and I think I'm a lesbian. I've had some pretty sexual moments with my friend from the school I used to go to.
I used to always go over to her house and last time I did I was spending the night and a lot of stuff happened... We were playing truth or dare and ended up talking about lesbians. She is a lesbian, she's told me. I said I wouldn't kiss and we didn't. But we rubbed each other 'there' and sucked each others breasts. It sounds like i'm lesbian but im not sure. I have sexual dreams about guys and id don't get flustered around girls, I do around guys though.
Do you think i'm bi? I've been masturbating lately and all I can think of is how much i want to spend the night at her house again. But the thing is, i dont like her. I know i don't. I actually want to do it with a guy more. and i would be fine with any girl im close to.
Do you think it's a phase? Or maybe i'm just filling my sexual desires with her? help me please! Thank you!

Answer
Hi Hun,
First of all, it doesn't sound like you are anything close to a lesbian. There wouldn't be anything wrong with you or any shame in being lesbian, let's get that established first, OK?
But if you were a lesbian, you would have almost no attraction to any boys period, and that's not the case at all. It sounds to me like you are bi-curious; but the most important thing here is that you are only 13, your attractions and feelings WILL change as you grow older... so don't waste time trying to label yourself now, OK?
Your hormones do run a lot higher at 13 then they will later, so there's a chance you wont have any attraction to girls when you're an adult. Most likely, you'll be like every girl I know: Falls for guys, has relationships with guys, but if the girl is hot enough or you're horny enough, a girl can turn you on to. You know what I would "label" that? Human.
Don't sweat the labels and enjoy yourself!
Love,
Ashley

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Ashley Morgan

Expertise

Being a girl myself, I really prefer questions from girls, as that's where I have the experience. I will do my best to answer your questions about your sexuality; specializing in female masturbation and gay/bi fantasies, including what healthy masturbation and sexual activity with the same sex is, what may be unhealthy, or when you may need more time before taking that next step. Also when masturbating or sexual activity with other girls may cross the line to sex, and how to handle gay/bi feelings while in your family whether it's coming out to your parents, or comparing notes with siblings or children

Experience

I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Organizations
Counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Education/Credentials
B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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