Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/Gay hookups

Advertisement


Question
Hi, I have always considered myself to be a straight man. I am 18 and just now really starting to get sexually attracted to men for sexual purposes no kissing or dating just a way to get off. I have been trying to hook up with random guys from sites just to have a sexual encounter with then never see again but this isnt a healthy thing for me and I feel its so wrong on every level. I don't think I am gay I love women and want to be with one but I am extremely horny and the thought of having a get off with any gender seems perfect to me. What should I do? How can I stop this? Am i gay?

Answer
Hi Noah,

Have you heard of the sexuality spectrum? Most if not all of us are fluid in that regard; we could like a gender emotionally and another sexually. We can basically like either gender with or without a combination of those two with different intensity degrees. The thing is, our feelings are often miles ahead of our head aren't they?
That's why I suggest that you stay patient and slowly try to understand what your feelings are trying to tell you. That is also why I suggest that you don't try and put a label like "straight" or "gay" on yourself so eagerly. We're not a piece of wood; as humans we change a lot and putting a label on ourselves is just restraining and can be troubling.

I myself don't have a label. I like girls more than guys, but sometimes think that maybe it's just because I haven't found a compatible guy yet. I've been this way for years and while it felt so wrong in the beginning, it doesn't at all anymore. It did take me more than a year to feel okay with it though. Now that I'm okay with it, it's just like a big boulder off my back.

Having said all this, I can't really tell you what you should or shouldn't do. All I think I can say is try to keep your options and tolerance open. That's part of how you can better understand yourself in the long run. You may or may never like a guy emotionally, but no one knows yet.

Don't hesitate to follow-up and good luck,  

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Anna

Expertise

I'm here to help you with whatever concerns/issues you have about homosexuality (and LGBTQ in general). These include issues like homophobia, bisexuality, confusion, coming out, crushes, relationships, abuses, etc. Just go ahead and ask; I'll do my best! :)

Experience

I've gone through the confused, denial and acceptance stages of my sexual orientation. From oblivion to low self-esteem and now to confidence.

Education/Credentials
4th year B.Sc. with a keen interest in social psychology.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.