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Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/help me in my school


QUESTION: Hello Josh,

I study in an all boys school. I've been sexually aroused by this boy in front of me. I asked if he wants to be in a relationship with me and he agreed. We started dating for two months and wondered if we should take it a step further. He offered to give me a blowjob the other day in the toilet but i turned him down. Help me because i am confused. What should i do?

ANSWER: Hey There Sam, it's nice to hear from you.

Do you mind if I ask you for a bit more detail before I write a more specific response?

I'd like you to tell me more about what specifically you are confused about. I could come up with a whole bunch of theories on what you may be confused about (such as your sexuality, your feelings for him, how your body is responding, his response to you saying no to his offer, etc) but I'll need to know a bit more detail on that part before I can type up a good reply for you.

Thanks so much Sam, hope to hear from you soon.
Josh :)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Im mainly confused on what i should feel for him or if im even sexually attracted to him at all. Should i have just accepted giving him a blowjob ??

Hi Sam, thanks for responding to the question that I asked.

First of all, to answer your last question. No; you shouldn't feel forced to accept anything that you don't want. In fact, it's good that you spoke up and was honest on how you felt. When it comes to doing anything personal or intimate with someone, you should never do it because you feel like you’re being obligated to do so. Instead, you should do it because it's something that you want to experience with the person your with.

If you’re dating someone you should feel some sort of affection for them. If you two just started dating, you’re probably still learning more about each other like interests, it's normal for there to be a few quirks. Over time, they should make you feel a way that's different then when you’re with anyone else and make you feel good about yourself and bring out a certain side of you that few others get to see. If you feel like you’re only going through the motions and don't have any passion for each other, then you should move on and find someone else who does. If you have attraction but don't feel like you two are good for dating then that's fine, but it would be more of a short-term physical interaction as opposed to a long-term dating one. If you have mutual interests but no attraction, then that would be more in the friends category.

Deep down in yourself, you'll know more then I do if you’re attracted to him or not. If you’re unsure it might help to have some space from him and asses how you feel.

Let me know how everything goes. If I'm able to help any further, don't hesitate to send me a follow-up.

Take Care,
Josh :)

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Josh Hawkins


I am a gay man and a recent graduate of an Adult Psychology program and graduated with honors. As a result, I would like to assist anyone out there with any type of challenge that they may be facing. Before I list the type of questions that I may answer, I would like to encourage as many follow-up questions as possible. I'm not here to help you once and leave. I'm here to help you with your challenge every step of the way, until it's 100% completed. Some of the examples of types of questions that I may answer for you include: coming out, various questions of the gay community as a whole, negative feedback, how to handle stress and the emotional roller coaster you may be on.


I have studied in the post secondary education program of Adult Psychology taught at International Career School Canada. While studying in this program, I have learned comprehensive knowledge on a wide variety of psychology topics. Some examples of the types of topics covered in the program were: learning about the views of emotion & how it is linked to motivation, how we learn and the long term effects based on it, the process in which we think and how we affect others with it, how to control stress, how we are all individually different, our personality behavior, how to improve and change our behavior, and how others affect our feelings and happiness.

I have graduated with honors in the Adult Psychology program at International Career School Canada. I also have a second major in General Business, completed in College. In High School I have earned: The Business Certificate, a Certificate of Outstanding Achievement in Science, and a Certificate of Outstanding Achievement in Religion.

Awards and Honors
I have graduated in my Adult Psychology program with Highest Honors and a 97% overall average.

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