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Question
Josh,
I am not a teen but I the person who I want ask my question to on fetishes is on vacation until  June, so I read through page and past questions and believe that you could help me out.

I'm sure you are familiar with sex advice columnist and activist Dan Savage. I was listening to his podcast today and he had a caller who asks if It was unethical to go to go a normal, legit, massages therapist for pain. But she also happens to get a bit arouse with a male touching her.  Dan's answer was No. It's not unethical and as long as he doesn't know, and you don't make it obvious it's perfectly fine and normal. He added in fact it goes on all the time, for example a gentleman who works a shoe store may have a foot fetish. And it could excite him to put shoes on woman feet. And along as he's not coming on to her, or showing an erection, it's fine. You just need to be subtle about it.

That made me thinking about myself and something I do. But It also got be to question if what I do crosses the line. I'm a a late 20 something year old man and purposely schedule my afternoon swim at the health club when I know the local high school boys swim team would be practicing there? And when I go from my work out I enjoy watching them in their speedos. Knowing and being fully aware of the laws, and doing nothing else but watching, during my workout? I am also attracted to men my own age too. But also like many (though they wouldn't admit ) find some, 16 70yos attracted. May I also point out that the pool has giant glass windows that face into the gym and vise versa , where there are people jogging on treadmills. And there are others of course too in the pools swing how I am.

As I stated earlier I don't do anything nor do I ever attended too. Also don't make it obvious that I am staring. So knowing that there amen my age who still find late teens attracted, am I doing anything wrong, by just swing while they have their practice?

Answer
Hi Shane, it's nice to hear from you.

Thanks for reading through my past responses and for trusting me enough with your question.

I do know all about Dan Savage. In the past I suggested some Young Adults take a look at his 'It Gets Better' website and purchased a couple of the books to give them away as Birthday gifts to people I thought would benefit from it.

I noticed something that you may have missed when you mentioned the details on the podcast you heard, so I'd like to quickly mention it, just because I feel it adds a different dynamic to this that could be easily missed. The two different scenarios (person receiving massage & store associate with foot fetish) come from two completely different roles with who is paying for the service.

With the individual who gets aroused by the massage, they are paying for it. The masseuse should expect some clients to enjoy the massage more than others and that includes becoming aroused. It is in their professional best interest not to make their client feel embarrassed over it because that person may not want to return if they feel like they're being made fun of because of what happened.

With the shoe associate example, the person who is getting aroused isn't the customer, it's the employee. The employee should be more careful then the person getting the massage, just because he's at work and if the customer is aware and isn't comfortable with it; they could give the company a bad reputation.

I know that didn't have anything to do with what's going on in your situation, but I thought I'd point that out.

Now as for yourself, legally there's nothing wrong with what you’re doing. The gym and pool are all public places so you do receive less privacy you otherwise would be entitled to. Even if you do get aroused and it's visible, it's not like people would know who did it. If I knew which guys got aroused because of me and which ones didn't, my life would be a whole lot easier. Also, guys get erections at random times as well, so that should be kept in mind too.

I hesitate to suggest this part, but have you ever considered talking to them? Just because they look young doesn't mean they are as young you think they are. Personally, I'm 28 (29 in Dec) and people who I meet for the first time say I look like I'm 18. Regardless, I suggest you find a young looking guy (who you know is old enough) and let your feelings surface. Having some type of outlet for what you’re feeling would be a good idea.

If I can help any further or if I could clarify anything, please don't hesitate to send me a follow-up message.

Take Care,
Josh :)

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Josh Hawkins

Expertise

I am a gay man and a recent graduate of an Adult Psychology program and graduated with honors. As a result, I would like to assist anyone out there with any type of challenge that they may be facing. Before I list the type of questions that I may answer, I would like to encourage as many follow-up questions as possible. I'm not here to help you once and leave. I'm here to help you with your challenge every step of the way, until it's 100% completed. Some of the examples of types of questions that I may answer for you include: coming out, various questions of the gay community as a whole, negative feedback, how to handle stress and the emotional roller coaster you may be on.

Experience

I have studied in the post secondary education program of Adult Psychology taught at International Career School Canada. While studying in this program, I have learned comprehensive knowledge on a wide variety of psychology topics. Some examples of the types of topics covered in the program were: learning about the views of emotion & how it is linked to motivation, how we learn and the long term effects based on it, the process in which we think and how we affect others with it, how to control stress, how we are all individually different, our personality behavior, how to improve and change our behavior, and how others affect our feelings and happiness.

Education/Credentials
I have graduated with honors in the Adult Psychology program at International Career School Canada. I also have a second major in General Business, completed in College. In High School I have earned: The Business Certificate, a Certificate of Outstanding Achievement in Science, and a Certificate of Outstanding Achievement in Religion.

Awards and Honors
I have graduated in my Adult Psychology program with Highest Honors and a 97% overall average.

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