Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens/What should I do


Hi, im 18 and I been friends with this girl since September now, me and her are close . three months ago I started liking her, we would hang out a lot and recently we been having sex. All the way up into a week ago, she got a girlfriend. My heart is crushed, I'm kind of blaming myself because I feel like I should have took the opportunity to date her, but I'm not really into relationships since I had bad previous ones) but I been crying a lot, me and her talked she want us to stay how we are and also continuing having sex with each other. I'm conflicted , like what should I do what should I say?? a part of me feel like its wrong, but the other part of me just want her.

Hi Nea,

I was recently conflicted too; it wasn't nice! I don't think I can really tell you what to do or say. What I can suggest, however, is that you make a decision and stick through it. No two persons have the same values, morals, personalities... and what may seem right for her may or may not be "right" for you.

Here are some suggestions based on scenarios:

If you decide that you don't want sex while staying friends, tell her that. If she's not okay, then perhaps she's not a good friend after all. Staying friends while liking someone can be really hard, but if you really want the friendship it could work.

If instead you want to do exactly what she wants, that's fine too. But be ready for very tearful, jealous-filled and emotion-challenging times. I don't recommend it. Personally, that would make me suicidal. Also, make sure that her girlfriend is okay with this first. If her girlfriend doesn't know or agree about this, it's cheating, and cheating is never good. There's the saying, if she cheats sexually with you, she'll cheat sexually on you with someone else. No good relationship should be founded without trust.

If you want more time to sort out your feelings, and really can't afford to be in a relationship yet, then take your time and let her date.
If you can afford to date her, I suggest you make it clear, and hope for the best.

Hope that helps. Wish you lots of luck and don't hesitate to follow-up if there's anything.

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens

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I'm here to help you with whatever concerns/issues you have about homosexuality (and LGBTQ in general). These include issues like homophobia, bisexuality, confusion, coming out, crushes, relationships, abuses, etc. Just go ahead and ask; I'll do my best!


I've gone through the confused, denial and acceptance stages of my sexual orientation. From oblivion to low self-esteem and now to confidence.

B.Sc. in Biology with a keen interest in social psychology.

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