About Kait Expertise I can answer questions about sexual identity, social isolation, coming out issues, online sexuality (relationships, porno, cybering, chatting), and how the rest of your life fits in with sexual identity.
Experience I started questioning myself almost 2 years ago when I was 14 1/2. I came out to family and friends when I was 15. I have belonged to my school's GSA, am involved in a Gay Youth Support group, and am a chat host in a teen lesbian room. I have experience dealing with online relationships and helping people figure themselves out.
Question I've liked other girls since I was at least 13. I'm now 17. I finally decided that I should consider myself Bisexual, sense I still often liek guys. My only problem is that I don't knwo if I should tell anyone. My step-dad's family are kind of homophobic and my family are strict Christians. I think my grandma and mom suspect something, with the way I talk about girls. Should I come out all the way? If I do, how am I suppose to find support? Our school doesn't have a Gay Student support group or anything like that. In fact, my school seems to look down on it. I obviously sound crazy... What do you think I should do?
Answer Hey Jo Anna.
You don't sound crazy at all. A lot of people go through what you're going through. There are two things you should consider when thinking about telling people: 1. do you feel comfortable telling the people you want to? and 2. will they support you? It sounds like you aren't going to get a lot of support, so that is one barrier. You might want to wait a while. Maybe until you're 18, or off at college, or financially independent. You have to think about the fact that if you tell your parents, they might threaten to kick you out or cut you off financially. But that is an extreme. I don't know how extreme your family is, but that is something you have to judge for yourself.
You might want to bring up the subject of homosexuality/bisexuality as a conversation in general, and see how they respond. If they respond negatively, then don't tell them you are bi. If they respond neutrally, then judge whether you want to tell them or not.
How bout your mom and grandma? You said they suspect something; have they said anything to you about it? If so, was it in a way that might be accepting or not? If that side of your family responds well, then maybe tell them if you're comfortable.
It's a shame your school doesn't have any gay student support. Check out your local area and see if there are any support groups or gay teen hangouts. You can check on the internet or in the phone book. How bout your friends? Are they accepting of homosexuality? If so, then seek some support from them and just talk to them about it. If they don't support you, then try online chats or message boards. There's a good gay student center online where you can post messages and make friends. The address is www.gaystudentcenter.studentcenter.org
There are a lot of teen gay sites out there, so if you can't get support any other way, try online. Also try checking out books and videos on homosexuality and absorb yourself into the idea. If you do research on homosexuality, it will answer questions and help you feel more connected.
Good luck! And don't feel pressured to tell anyone if you don't feel comfortable. It's a part of you like anything else... you don't have to tell people what food you prefer or how old you are, and you don't have to tell people whether you're gay, bi or straight.
