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Gay/Lesbian Issues/Questions
| Subject | Date Asked | Expert |
| Dealing with my wife's ex wife | 1/6/2012 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: I am having issues with anger. I have always been a particularly happy and optimistic person... ... A: No...... May be everytime you talked to her.....it wasn't impactful enough to make her feel what you ... | ||
| Dealing with my wife's ex wife | 1/5/2012 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: I am having issues with anger. I have always been a particularly happy and optimistic person... ... A: The best way to deal with frustration is to vent it out some way or the other. Talk it ... | ||
| My relationship | 1/4/2012 | Brandon |
| Q: my gf and i have been together for almost 2 years. We get along great shes my best friend and iove ... A: I am so sorry to hear about your situation with your girlfriend's family. My advice is that if you ... | ||
| Boyfriend questioning sexuality. | 12/28/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: my name is Brittany. About a month ago my boyfriend and i had talked about having anal sex, which ... A: First and foremost, this did not happen because you strapped "it" on. It feels like an excuse to ... | ||
| How do I get over him? | 11/8/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I came out almost a year ago and I'm 22 years old. And to celebrate the occasion I went on vacation ... A: The only way I know to "get over" someone either time and distance meaning no contact for an ... | ||
| Is my husband gay? | 11/4/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I have had these strong Intuitive thoughts for 3 years that I have known my husband. I am beginning ... A: None of the information that you provided leads me to believe that your husband is gay although the ... | ||
| Married and Bi | 11/2/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I am a 23 year old women. I have been married for almost 4 years. I love my husband very much and we ... A: First and foremost do NOT tell your parents that you are either sexually attracted to this woman or ... | ||
| Relationship troubles | 10/30/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: Im a 22 year old female. I cameout two years ago to friends and three months ago to family. I havent ... A: There are different phases of a relationship.....& you need to explore what suits you.... I don't ... | ||
| Wife questions sexuality | 10/25/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: My wife of six years suddenly questions her sexuality. She had a recent experienced during a ... A: .... i understand the emotional turmoil that you and your wife are going through but is separation a ... | ||
| Sexuality | 10/21/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: I have been dating a women for 2 and a half years. I am 37, she is 25. It is our first time in a ... A: It makes no sense to me too......I mean I cannot say anything about whats going on in her ... | ||
| Sexuality | 10/20/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: I have been dating a women for 2 and a half years. I am 37, she is 25. It is our first time in a ... A: Common is getting confused with one's sexuality.....or rather getting to explore it on different ... | ||
| What should I do? | 10/20/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: I'm Joanna I'm 16 and I have liked this girl since 7th grade, I am now currently in 11th. Should in ... A: I can't say that she is gay or no, but definitely you cannot just go and tell her what you feel ... | ||
| trust | 9/30/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: would like to ask you for some advice on a matter. My boyfriend remains friends with his ex who is ... A: I guess the real question is whether Gareth and James have been in an open relationship all along or ... | ||
| trust | 9/30/2011 | Brandon |
| Q: would like to ask you for some advice on a matter. My boyfriend remains friends with his ex who is ... A: Have you considered the fact that Gareth confided in your boyfriend not to tell anyone their secret? ... | ||
| Lesbianism in India | 9/28/2011 | Brandon |
| Q: First of all my heartiest apology for long e mail but i realy need your help.. I'm from India n ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like she is definitely exploring a brand new ... | ||
| Lesbianism in India | 9/28/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: First of all my heartiest apology for long e mail but i realy need your help.. I'm from India n ... A: Culturally it is challenging in India where the opposite sexes are expected to marry based on ... | ||
| Strange gay situation. | 9/18/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: I am 23 female. My best friend from school is 23 male. We met in the 4th grade, and he asked me to ... A: Well, the best thing is to be communicative and assertive here. You have to let him know about your ... | ||
| Confused | 9/16/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I was married and pregnant at a young age(18). Divorced two yrs later, single mother of two ... A: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but from everything that you have told me your relationship ... | ||
| Lesbian & Christian | 9/15/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I'm a 40 something yr old lesbian & have been a person who has struggled with my sexuality the ... A: My feeling is that you have the ability to help. I can see the sense of backing away and letting ... | ||
| How do I get through this? | 9/14/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I've recently discovered that my wife is having an affair with another woman. The woman is a long ... A: Well, I think that you are both moving in a good direction. You said exactly what you needed and ... | ||
| How do I get through this? | 9/10/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I've recently discovered that my wife is having an affair with another woman. The woman is a long ... A: Oh Matt, I am so sorry to hear this. Having been married more than 20 years, I'd say there is ... | ||
| Amigo gay | 8/31/2011 | Brandon |
| Q: Hola, soy un joven de 19 años, bisexual. Tuve una relación sentimental con otro chavo que se llama ... A: Hola Isac, Que bueno que ya sabes la situación con Carlos tiene que ver con su aceptación de él ... | ||
| Should I tell him? | 8/24/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: Kalra. I am a 45 year old gay man. a couple of years ago I met a young man at my job. He is 20 years ... A: Well.....tough question & situation.....but better have a simple answer for it....keeping it short & ... | ||
| Confused | 8/19/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: All of adult life so far, i am now 27, i have known that i could not label my sexuality. I have ... A: Well, its OK for you to explore yourself....your sexuality after all the process is a long one that ... | ||
| how to deal with this situation? | 8/15/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I am pradeep, below is the last answer i received from you for my problem : ********************** ... A: I can't answer that question. That's a decision that you will need to make for yourself. If it ... | ||
| how to deal with this situation? | 8/14/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I am pradeep, below is the last answer i received from you for my problem : ********************** ... A: I'm not going to be able to be of much help because you are probably not going to be happy with what ... | ||
| I told her I like her | 8/11/2011 | Brandon |
| Q: I told my same sex friend that I like/want to date her. I've liked her for about 2 yrs and I ... A: I would recommend giving her some space, even if she is attracted to you. It seems like she might ... | ||
| How do I get her to say yes? | 8/5/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: Hey so I was wondering if you would be able to help me a little as I am very very confused. I'm a 15 ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but I don't know of a way to get her to say yes. The fact ... | ||
| Cant figure out if he is cheating on me. | 7/27/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: i am a 30 yr old gay guy and i have been in a relationship with a 40 yr old top guy since last six ... A: First and foremost, don't tell him that it's okay to do something when it's not. You should have ... | ||
| very confused | 7/25/2011 | Brandon |
| Q: ive been married almost 8 years, have a 4 yr old son and my marriage have been breaking up for a ... A: This is a very difficult situation, and there are no easy answers. Your son will be no more hurt in ... | ||
| I love her | 7/25/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: Okay...Me and my ex girlfriend were talking for 7 months. (Keep in mind that she is a recovering ... A: It's a difficult situation. She may not know what she wants. She's dealing with sobriety which is ... | ||
| Lesbian has a crush on me | 7/21/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I'm 22/f and not interested in girls. I've been friends with LR who is 24/f for about a year, ... A: What you might want to try is to use the next time she says something like that as an opportunity to ... | ||
| first time sex | 7/16/2011 | Brandon |
| Q: I am going to have penetrating sex for the first time. I want to be able to enjoy been penetrated ... A: Assuming you are over 18 years of age, there are several websites that can explain how to prepare ... | ||
| male orgasm | 7/10/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: My question is. Ive found out recently that whenever im in bed with a guy who has a bigger than ... A: The answer is that men do have a "g-spot", it's called the prostate. What is happening is that the ... | ||
| is my relationship over? | 7/4/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: I have been in this relationship for almost 6 years now. I love the guy im with but I feel like our ... A: What seems to me is that there may be a lot of pressure being put on him by you regarding ... | ||
| Am I bi or gay? | 7/2/2011 | Brandon |
| Q: I'm 15 and I've just come out to my friends and my main family as bi. They are all excepting of it ... A: Don't worry about labels -- a lot of young people first feel they are bisexual and, with the passing ... | ||
| can i stop being gay ? | 7/1/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: i am 18 years old boy ! i think i am gay ,i have never had gay sex i only like watching gay videos ... A: R.: So far you have only described what you enjoy watching. Watching is not doing. It is quite ... | ||
| I have a crush on one of my best friends. | 6/27/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: I've had an inner battle for a while, deciding whether or not I should come out to my friends as bi ... A: You still have a crush on her regardless of her behaviour. What I can't tell from your question is ... | ||
| Cant figure out if he is cheating on me. | 6/18/2011 | Michael Hernandez |
| Q: i am a 30 yr old gay guy and i have been in a relationship with a 40 yr old top guy since last six ... A: It's normal to look. The comment would not be so bad except that it hurts your feelings. You can ... | ||
| should i be in this relationship | 6/18/2011 | Dr. Gurvinder Kalra |
| Q: i am a 30 yr old gay guy and i have been in a relationship with a 40 yr old top guy since last six ... A: PRadeep, one thing is for sure, he has already given you assurance and even if he gives more, you ... | ||
Gay/Lesbian Issues
Answers by Expert:
Michael Hernandez
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I can answer questions regarding gender issues having lived as both lesbian and gay. I can also address relationship questions being in a 14 year polyamorous relationship.
Experience
I am a trans (Female to Male) and have been in that community for the past 17 years and have presented in College/University classes as well as maintaining a website with links and information regarding gender issues [http://www.otherbear.com]
Organizations belong to
National Writer's Union, FTM Alliance of Los Angeles, Inc.
Publications
I've written articles for gender publications and have contributions in Bears on Bears by Ron Suresha (Los Angeles: Alyson Publications, 2002), Academy: Tales of the Market Place by Laura Antoniou (New York: Mystic Rose Books, 2000), "I Am Neither Man Nor Woman" Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue, ed. Leslie Feinberg (Boston: Beacon Press, 1998), "Holding My Breath Under Water" Looking Queer , ed. Dawn Atkins (Hayworth Press, 1998), "Boundaries: Gender and Transgenderism," The Second Coming , eds. Pat(rick) Califia and Robin Sweeney (San Francisco: Alyson Publications, 1996), and "Packing, Passing & Pissing," Dagger , eds. Lily Burana, Roxxie, and Linnea Due (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 1994). Appearance in Transmen & FTMS: Identities, Bodies, Genders & Sexualities by Jason Cromwell (University of Illinois Press, 1999), etc.
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