AboutMichelle Expertise I can answer/explore questions regarding: coming out; conflicts of faith for both the gay/lesbian person accepting their own sexuality as well as friends/family accepting the sexuality of someone they care about; coming out to your children; talking to your teens about being gay; coming out of a long term opposite sex marriage; history of marriage; legal recognition of same gender marriages; how ultra-conservative religious training/upbringing affects gays, lesbians, bi, trans people--especially teens; why living “out” is the hardest best thing a person can do; current dynamics of religious/political issues.
Experience I was raised in a conservative Christian church, and still am a Christian. From my earliest memories, I always had "crushes" on girls/women, but because of my background and training, believed homosexuality was a "sin" and that I was an abomination. I believed it was a "choice" and was determined to choose heterosexuality. I married a man (claimed to be a Christian, ended up being abusive), had three kids, and was married for 20 years. I attended a Christian college (had devastating crushes there) and at the age of 26 started writing and speaking for Christian groups across the United States and Canada. After fifteen years of teaching others to "remove the masks" I finally peeled away my last mask. I lost my church, my oldest friend, my career, and quite a few people I trusted and loved--but I gained my soul. You can't fool God. I used my experience and twenty-five years of biblical studies to understand how scriptures have been misused. I am now married to a woman (seven years) and active in the gay/lesbian community. I have made myself an expert on same gender marriage issues and legal cases. I am very active in local, state, and national politics
Organizations HRC
Equal Rights Washington
Legal Marriage Alliance
PFLAG
Publications AGLOW Western Horseman
Publisher's Weekly
Two books and hundreds of articles for Christian publishers
Education/Credentials 2.5 years undergraduate
25 years professional writer/speaker (fifteen for religious publishers)
10 years of seminars & workshops
Question Hello. I am a 22 yr old woman who has been bi since i was 10 (didnt know what bi was at 10). I have always liked women for a long time, i used to use the word bicurious but that wasn't getting me anywhere. I have not been with a woman yet, I post ads online and they get me nowhere. it's like these women just want a chat buddy nothing less and nothing more - dont wanna meet offline.
I have been looking to go to lgbt community centers and meet others who struggle as well. I have a fiance, a male, that i have been with for almost 3 yrs and have no intentions of leaving him. I have heard of those "silly" stereotypes about bisexuals, stereotypes don't apply to everybody and they end up proving to be false anyway. I am looking for a bi or les to be with me not him, i have met quite a bit online who didn't want to chat with me (whether they were bi or les) because of me having a guy.
Anyway, I have a prob with people who are ignorant and aren't open-minded. my question is what should i do about finding a woman? where can i find a woman? i kinda feel insecure about taking my man to a gay/les bar (the ones that are open to both gay and les) to just dance and have fun, but i want to make gay friends too (which i dont have any but was acquainted with some in the past).
i am 22, havent had a girlfriend at all, so i dont know what to do. another question is is it bad to date my man and another woman at the same time? there is nothin wrong with my relationship to the point i need to "find someone else" as other idiots put it. being bisexual is me, thats who i am.
women on facebook was like i should "put my relationship aside" and find women to date to see if i like women or not. i have no intentions of putting him to the side. any opinions?
Answer Hi marquis, thanks for writing to me.
I would say that from reading your email you are actually looking for other people who enjoy and practice open relationships...relationships which involve more than just two people. For the most part, the majority of lesbian or bi women are pretty much like the majority of straight women, they prefer or participate and expect a monogamous relationship. For those women, you being with your fiance is just not going to work for what they want and need...the same way that a strictly straight or strictly two person lesbian relationship sounds like it wouldn't work for what you need or want. There is nothing wrong with the women who say they couldn't be in that kind of relationship, any more than there is anything wrong with you wanting to be in a relationship with your fiance and at the same time with a woman. It is, just as you say, just going to be that much harder to find someone who wants that kind of relationship as well.
I think if you look into more of the polyamory groups, you will have much better luck. They would be far more open to what you are hoping to find because they aren't really looking for a monogamous relationship. They will understand what you need far better. There are a lot of polyamory groups on yahoo groups, and probably google too...and a lot of them are set up by geographical region. See if there is something available in your area...
