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About Michelle
Expertise
I can answer/explore questions regarding: coming out; conflicts of faith for both the gay/lesbian person accepting their own sexuality as well as friends/family accepting the sexuality of someone they care about; coming out to your children; talking to your teens about being gay; coming out of a long term opposite sex marriage; history of marriage; legal recognition of same gender marriages; how ultra-conservative religious training/upbringing affects gays, lesbians, bi, trans people--especially teens; why living “out” is the hardest best thing a person can do; current dynamics of religious/political issues.
Experience
I was raised in a conservative Christian church, and still am a Christian. From my earliest memories, I always had "crushes" on girls/women, but because of my background and training, believed homosexuality was a "sin" and that I was an abomination. I believed it was a "choice" and was determined to choose heterosexuality. I married a man (claimed to be a Christian, ended up being abusive), had three kids, and was married for 20 years. I attended a Christian college (had devastating crushes there) and at the age of 26 started writing and speaking for Christian groups across the United States and Canada. After fifteen years of teaching others to "remove the masks" I finally peeled away my last mask. I lost my church, my oldest friend, my career, and quite a few people I trusted and loved--but I gained my soul. You can't fool God. I used my experience and twenty-five years of biblical studies to understand how scriptures have been misused. I am now married to a woman (seven years) and active in the gay/lesbian community. I have made myself an expert on same gender marriage issues and legal cases. I am very active in local, state, and national politics
Organizations
HRC
Equal Rights Washington
Legal Marriage Alliance
PFLAG
Publications
AGLOW Western Horseman
Publisher's Weekly
Two books and hundreds of articles for Christian publishers
Education/Credentials
2.5 years undergraduate
25 years professional writer/speaker (fifteen for religious publishers)
10 years of seminars & workshops
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Gay/Lesbian Issues > confused.
Expert: Michelle
Date: 8/29/2008
Subject: confused.
Question
ok where to begin. I am currently in a position where i have never been before. I am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend who i have been with for the past 3 years, but in the last week and a half i have felt myself falling for a girl. i have never experienced this before.
I'm a uni student studying to be a teacher and she was a relief teacher at the school that i attended. from the moment that i locked eyes with her i had the feeling of a crush coming on straight away. from that moment on every time i looked at her she was watching me. i was happy to go on with just the catching her looking at me when we were around each other, until the day that she spoke to me. to be honest it came as shock cause we hadn't said anything to each other all week. from that moment on i needed to talk to her more often but the opportunities never seemed to come along. then my last day came and i had only spoken to her the once which i felt was a downer and which i thought was the last time that i was going to see her again.
until i realized that i had left some of the classes stuff at my house and it needed to be returned. As i was at uni for this whole week i was planning on taking it back next Tuesday, but the opportunity a rose for to take it back yesterday ( Thursday ). as i walked through the door of my classroom that i taught there she was filling in for my mentor. I have never felt my heart beat so fast in my chest before. i stayed after class and i had a talk to her for about 15 minutes and i found out more about her in that time then i have with my mates that i have met at uni for this whole year. it turned out that she wasn't going to be at school next Tuesday because she had the day off and she wasn't coming back to teach at the school until the end of next term. which the only thing that pops into my head is the fact that fate has brought us together somehow.
him not sure if she has the same kind of feelings for me or not and it is confusing me because i have never liked a girl before. while we talked she never touched me but she was standing really close to me which i don't usually allow because i like my space. she has asked me to come back and volunteer at the school while she is there. but I'm not sure if i should if i keep having these feelings towards her because at the moment she is all i can think about. she has a boyfriend as well by the way and all i can think of happening between us is a fling.
sorry for getting sidetracked there but i had a lot of things to right and i wasn't sure how to say it so U have the whole story. what do u think i should do? does she like me? or is it just all in my head?
cheers
Answer
Hi Lesley,
No, it probably isn't all in your head...and I would say it might not be a bad idea to go ahead and volunteer and see what happens. It depends too, on where you want to be with your boyfriend. This is going to be sort of the opposite of what I tell people normally, which is, if you are in a relationship, decide what you want to do with that relationship first, then the one that is tempting you. But you are young, you are still figuring out who you are, you are not married at this point and it sounds like she isn't either. I actually think you need to figure this out now, rather than later. Give yourself some time to do that, and maybe see where your feelings, and hers lead.
It is very possible she is interested in you too...
Hope this helps...
Michelle
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