	AllExperts > Gay/Lesbian Issues
	Search

About Michael Hernandez
Expertise
I can answer questions regarding gender issues having lived as both lesbian and gay. I can also address relationship questions being in a 14 year polyamorous relationship.

Experience
I am a trans (Female to Male) and have been in that community for the past 17 years and have presented in College/University classes as well as maintaining a website with links and information regarding gender issues [http://www.otherbear.com]

Organizations belong to
National Writer's Union, FTM Alliance of Los Angeles, Inc.

Publications
I've written articles for gender publications and have contributions in Bears on Bears by Ron Suresha (Los Angeles: Alyson Publications, 2002), Academy: Tales of the Market Place by Laura Antoniou (New York: Mystic Rose Books, 2000), "I Am Neither Man Nor Woman" Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue, ed. Leslie Feinberg (Boston: Beacon Press, 1998), "Holding My Breath Under Water" Looking Queer , ed. Dawn Atkins (Hayworth Press, 1998), "Boundaries: Gender and Transgenderism," The Second Coming , eds. Pat(rick) Califia and Robin Sweeney (San Francisco: Alyson Publications, 1996), and "Packing, Passing & Pissing," Dagger , eds. Lily Burana, Roxxie, and Linnea Due (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 1994). Appearance in Transmen & FTMS: Identities, Bodies, Genders & Sexualities by Jason Cromwell (University of Illinois Press, 1999), etc.

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Advice me please

Gay/Lesbian Issues - Advice me please

Expert: Michael Hernandez - 11/2/2009

Question
my name is Smith. i have heard that ur concern provides counselling and advise regarding sexual issues.

i am a gay about 36 yrs of age. had been working abroad mostly thru out my professional career and currently as GM- Supply chain with an oil and gas company

but my parents and relative are hell bent to get me married, even they hv said either marry a girl of my own choice or their choice and without listening going ahead in bride hunting.

can u pls give a suggestion

Answer
Dear Smith:

I'm sure that there are counseling services available, but it would depend on where you live or where you happen to be traveling to. You need more than a general counselor given the cultural issues. For instance, a therapist who does treat gay and lesbian clients may not be familiar with the pressure to marry in Indian culture, the fact that many marriages are still arranged after confirming astrological compatibility, importance and significance of family in your culture.

Your parents want grandchildren and therefore the push for marriage.

I did a google search and found Social Welfare Association for Men (SWAM)in Chennai, but that only helps if you go home to visit and your family happens to live in Tamil Nadu or close enough to be able to schedule an appointment.

See for resources/information

https://dcc2.bumc.bu.edu/MSHS/Resources.htm
http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/news/2001/07/45206

Also attached is an article that appeared in the Hindu by a psychotherapist who may be able to point you in the right direction.

Another possibility is for you to contact your local Pacific Islander/Asian LGBT centers and see if they can provide references to counseling sources. See http://www.gapa.org/Links/index.html for some possible links to information.

I wish you the very best.

Regards,

Michael

Add to this Answer Ask a Question