Gay/Lesbian Issues/unrequited love
Ok I feel like I'm attracted to a certain type of girl....abit edgy...vibrant...lives life to fullest...magnetic personality... but they always reject me.
Atfirst, they tell me I'm cute and they find me interesting and ecclectic. But I guess there's something about me that doesn't keep them interested anymore. I consider myself to be those things as well but I am abit reserved..however I do have a very outgoing side to me.
What I'm noticing about the women I'm attracted too is they have ALOT of bravado...they seem open atfirst then they shutdown and almost act juvenile. I am very communicative and I express what I'm feeling I'm direct about what I want- which always shocks them. I always tell them upfront what I'm looking for from them but its like they find that intimidating and I've actually had them tell me I was intimidating. I dnt try to be and I don't want to be...I'm 29 and I just know what I want. I'm attracted to younger so maybe that's a problem...
Last yr I met a 25 yr old online. She was the girl of my dreams. She was fem athletic and an artist! She seemed to have right balance of softness and toughness. That's what I've been looking for. She was very intellectual and down to earth at the same time...she was great with words and seemed like a perfect match for me. We engaged in alot of erotic texting so it seemed we were also sexual compatible. She promised me rides on her motorcycle and concert goings ..movies etc. However she abruptly moved to a different town and the communication changed.she became short with me and she even told me that it now felt like a chore talking to me and she said she doesn't see anything happening between us.
I asked her if we could remain friends and she said yes I feel we'd get along. But then she got involved in another online romance with a girl she never met. She made grand displays of her love for this person and they were listed on fb as being a couple! ? This girl she was "dating" was much different from me physically...she had a trampy look...I'm sweet and innocent..she was tattooed all over her body..not a butch but hardcore lipstick chick..she was in the army. This girl never seemed to understand my crush's mind and her witty dialogue. I would have to jump in and explain what she meant lol.
I just didn't get how my crush told me quite a few times I intimidated her while she completely opened up to this aggressive intimidating looking person. She even spoke to her many times on the phone and on Skype! I only got 3 calls over 3 mo. Period and she was drunk for one of them.
Her "relationship" with the army girl ended...and we started talking again off and on...but it wasn't the same. She still seemed distant and answered every blue moon. I gave up and stopped talking to her for awhile but she reached out to me out of blue after she got into a drunk driving accident ..she was drunk. She told me she was loss and confused and bored with being a lesbian BC girls don't excite her!
I told her its ok to feel that way and do what makes u happy. She gave me her new # and said she always wished she could've gave me more attention. So I begin texting her again and I get no response. I email her and she says the reason she doesn't respond is BC she feels drained by her life and doesn't feel motivated to respond. I ask her if she likes talking to me and she said she likes the things I talk about but she just can't respond right now. I gave her space...then starting sending her uplifting texts again after awhile then she snapped at me and said Idk why u like me so much..we never met..and I don't even know u! So therefore how can u think I'm so wonderful ..I'm not even that interesting...u can text me until ur fingers bleed but u wont get a response goodbye I'm Srry I don't need u in my life. So I sent her an email saying if she feels that way then I'm deleting myself from ur fb. She then apologized for sounding like bitch and explained she's going through something very difficult right now ans is not in a place to try and build a friendship with me.
I told her I respect that and should I also not engage with her on fb...she quickly urged me to remain on her fb and she welcomes my fb comments...
I sent her a few more texts and emails after that..no response but I wasn't expecting it. I just wanted to tell her I feel she has alot going for her and just gave her advice about coping with her stress.
She hasn't come on fb in awhile and it seems her best friend has been shut out her life too..ok this girl has issues but there's so many wonderful things about her...its seems like she has alot of deep thoughts inside her...she can be very profund and enlightening but then she goes and crashes her car drunk. She always talks about finding a love that's real and then she plays mind games. I want to believe in her..its like she's fighting something and torn...
I rarely feel like this about ppl I meet online. But there's specific things she's said to me that really struck me and my intuition tells me I was supposed to meet her. So right now our communication is completely dead...I have no idea what's going on in her life besides there's something really stressful happening.
Should I just block and delete her or should I not give up and try to reach out again until she either pushes me completely away or lets me in. And why do I fall for these ppl but they feel I have nothing to offer?
Thank-you if u can make sense of this situation and tell me how to go forwarded.
That is very much the definition of unrequited love! I would suggest the middle road -- you don't need to delete her or block her, nor do you need to force her to make a decision. However, since it is obvious her feelings are clouded, I think it's safe to say that her feelings for you are not strong enough for a relationship (or even for a good friendship at this point). Move on. There are more women out there. Everyone has her own imperfections, and we have to learn to accept the ones that aren't so important -- we can deal with those in order to make a relationship work. If she comes around one day in the meantime, great! But I can't see that happening anytime soon. Don't put your life on hold because you're in love with someone's past facade (I've made this mistake). Many times, that person has moved on herself and has even changed from how you remembered her to be. The perfect woman is out there -- but you may not have met her yet. Don't give up!