Gay/Lesbian Issues/Why?


QUESTION: why am i gay?

ANSWER: Greeting Guillermo,

Thanks for your question. I suggest to broaden your question to: Why do we have a sexual orientation being gay, lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual (to name a few).

Sexual orientation is part of being a human being. We all have a sexual orientation/attraction. Regardless of the attraction, not all people are the same or assign the same meaning to each label/identity. For example, some people say their straight and occasionally are attracted to the same gender. Others may be bisexual and while are attracted to men and women, are not attracted to both at equal proportions. Others are gay and lesbian and are exclusively attracted to the same gender.

Some people may have trouble excepting their sexual orientation because of culture, religion, fear of rejection, violence, bullying and even because of their own self-hatred. Should this be the case with anyone, its important to reach out to a supportive person or counselor who they trust to help work through their feelings. In many countries, being gay is protected in civil and human rights, and are acknowledged as part of a diverse society.

No one, including science, can answer the question why you are gay. If science knew why you were gay, they would be able to explain why someone is straight/heterosexual. Regardless, sexual orientation is a part of each and every one of us as well as a part of the animal kingdom.

Hope this answer provides you with some useful feedback.

Kind regards,

Dr. Reece Malone

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you Dr Molane for your quick answer but... Is it possible to change my sexual orientation? Is it a choice... or a bad joke of nature?
How is gayness explained from the psychiastrist, physiological or sexual backgrounds?
Thank you..

No it is not possible to change who you are attracted to. You can decide to not tell people you are gay but you cannot change who you love or are attracted to. Sexual orientation is not a choice. Did you choose to be gay? Because if it was a choice to be gay, then you can simply choose to be heterosexual. The reality is that no one chooses to be straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual no more than you can choose your skin color, your biological sex, or the size of your feet.

As a sexologist who studies the science of sexuality, all reputable international health and mental health organizations in the world (including psychiatry, psychology, and medicine), including the World Health Organization, supports the diversity of all sexual orientations (heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual) and encourage equality, respect and citizenship of all people. They all explain it how I have explained to you: That diverse sexual orientations exist and begins to emerge at around age 6. You cannot raise someone to be heterosexual as you cannot raise someone to be gay. The only difference is that there are more people who are heterosexual and just because someone is a minority, it does not mean that they are less or should be treated less than the majority. Sexual orientation/your attractions cannot be changed or altered through scientific (or religious) intervention.

You being gay is not a bad joke. Your culture and other messages around you has imprinted that sexual minorities including being gay is bad making it difficult for anyone who is gay, lesbian or bisexual to accept themselves. There are other countries that accept and support gay people and are protected under human rights. There are countries where gay people can get married, have children, enjoy life, not get fired from a job, and those who try to punish gay people are jailed for homophobia.

Hope that helps.

Kind regards,
Dr. Reece Malone

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Reece Malone


I can answer questions on sexual orientation, gender identity, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and transsexual sexuality (youth and adult), coming out and disclosure, transgender and gender-non conformity including transition process, how to support a partner of someone GLBT, sexuality and faith/spirituality/religion, safer sex and harm reduction, comprehensive sexuality education, and questions from service providers working with LGBT individuals and families.


I'm currently a full time sexuality educator and facilitator specializing in sexual orientation and gender identity. I hold the positions of the Education Program Coordinator at the Rainbow Resource Centre (supporting LGBTTQ individuals, families and allies) as well as clinical sexologist at Four Rivers Medical Clinic in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. My roles include: sexuality education, counseling/therapy, media spokesperson and consultant. I have sat on several non-profit sexuality organizations as well as been a consultant to the World Health Organization/Pan American Health Organization as well as the Public Health Agency of Canada. For more information visit:

American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists, The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, The American College of Sexologists, The Canadian AIDS Information Treatment Exchange, The Canadian Professional Association for Transgender Health, The Sexual Health Educator's Network (Manitoba), The International Society for Sexual Medicine.

Malone, R. (2010). "ShoutOut Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia and Heterosexism." Rainbow Resource Centre. Winnipeg, Canada. Malone, R. et al (2010). "Your Questions Answered. Gender Identity in Schools." Public Health Agency of Canada. Ottawa, Canada.

Undergradate degree in sociology - specialized focus on human sexuality Masters of Public Health (Sexology) Doctorate of Human Sexuality

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