Gay/Lesbian Issues/I Fell in love with my friend and she's lesbian
Okay then, I am 22yrs old and I officialy can say I am indeed fallen in love with my friend,now the complications is that she doesn't know that I am but i am pretty sure she has an idea...
My backround of all this well it all started that i started in a callcenter and in that to learn to take call you first need to observe how the experts take them.I was assigned to sit with her and make my observations, at first when i saw her i said to myself "shes a real stuck up b***h and she things shes the s**t" only by looking at her so right off the bat i was judging, which is a very common mistake every one does. Any-who so there I were learning although at first she did show she was a prick, but after the minutes passed by she started to interact but job-wise, she did help me a lot however. But that did not leave the fact that she had an attitude problem without any doubt.
As the days passed by in thea office I notice that one of my co-workers that got the job the exact same time I did was a 36yr old woman lesbi, she was attracted by the girl which I forgot to mention she is 18yrs,anyways well lets say that this girl blew her off and a couple of girls and guys that were very interested in her, which that kept me to think "wow this girl is heartless".
Well let me tell you that office ours are really long and boring, but time did fly by, now that it is all coming back to me; I recall one day all of a sudden for about like 2-3 hrs straight we did not receive any calls and for some odd reason we sat one near the other and it was so boring doing nothing, so when i saw her she had an expression of boredom as well (but let me tell you she looked so adorable) at that mier moment i realize wow this is the chick everyone fuzzes about i see why, but my thought still standed, but in that moments I was liek what the hell, why not and try to start a conversacion? so we did and i don't re-call nothig of that conversacion but all i know i had a blast talking to her.
And it was like that for several weeks, I only saw her as a friend in those moments, at then i tried seeing if she go see me performe at my soccer tournaments but she hates that sport, and one day when i ask her again "you should go this sunday and maybe afterwards we can go get a couple of beer", she responded "let me check with my partner". I was shocked and curious, partner i asked she lives with that person, so i did ask; she responded well i dont think she would like for me to go but i will ask. i was put down at first but i was like you know, whatever.
Again time flew by and there was not a moment were it was just me and her at work just talking about anything, and people started to ask if we were actually dating, she would say right off "no" but i would always stay quiet for some reason i always knew i had a crush on her.As we kept growing in months period she learn of the girls that wanted me for needs and in time i learn she use to date a guy that was her last boyfriend (he was a try and see how it goes kinda thing)but she always said that if she had an opotunity to go back she would marry him for the wrong she did him. So she gave me the impression shes "bi". Well i wanted to explore those feeeling in her to see if she go straight for some odd reason, and as I kept digging in deeper I began to fall harder for her in how perfect this humanbeing is, she is simply remarcable. Reserve but simple (that's a very attractive quality for me).As her relationship was going to termoil i started to be there more for her, I was move up as a supervisor in the office and i did everything in my react to help her move up i did things i thought i weren't able to do, and one day out of nowhere she disappeared leaving no trail. Days after asking like a mad man I came across some devastating news she had to go to an emergency operation, i actually tried to get to the hospital a couple of times, but never had success. I called her multiple times to check up one her sometimes she answer or her partner but her partner hated my guts nope no luck in talkin to her when her parthner answer, it went like that for 1month, when she came i took her lunch everyday i could so she eat right, at that time i really couldn't not get it to my head"Why in Gods name am I going to all this trouble?" but i simply responded shut up and see what else she needs.it went off for a while, one day i accidently got her food poisoned and F**K I was really scared, so i did a bucnh of stuff for her and well lets say i never will forget that.Moving on as we go to her birthday i asked her what would u like for your B-Day, she only responded "only for your presence to be there", that was sweet but i still got her a lmtd edicion absoulte bottle, she loved it alot she was speechless. Now her relationship was going so down the gutter I told her you know next friday i am talkin u out for some beers and dinner no excuses.Which we did we stopped at a taco stand and then passed by my house with a 24pack and a bottle of tequila, when we got at my place my moms was there and i did what i never do introduce my mom to a girl(i never even did that when i was going to get married a couple of years)so that immeadiately made her special, once in my room we put some music and talked and started to play around,things got super intense. I a bold movement i picked up and tossed her to my bed and all hot,sweaty,and tired of our little game that we have I grabbed her hands holding them down I move towrds her face seeking fo a kiss, I got super close and stopped, and stared for a very long time and there i saw in her eyes she was indeed a very special girl,asked should, do u want me to kiss you, do you want to kiss me,stuff like that...she only knodded her head like if you want, but something told me "NO!!! don't do it she is to important to just do something like that and especially with alcohol in the system if you want her for good than do it right, some other time; but my body would not move.and out of nowhere she burst into tears, she was in a different world i stayed with her and there i told her"Look at me and dont turn away you know i would never evr hurt you you know that, right?"she only responded"Yes i do" and i said something i thought i would never say to anybody,"Hey i will always be with you no matter what even if i need to give up my life i'll stay by your side no matter what i will always protect you, i never want a tear run on your cheek again the only tears i wanna see are of joy, you know i care about u too much, i would sacrifice my life jsut for your happiness, u know that right?" she only nodded yea and hugged me really hard.Now she acts like nothing happened she fianlly ended her relation and just started a new one, but what bums me down that she mention to me right now she doesnt have any cosiderations in dating a guy, in a future could be but girls only, and what kills me she calls me brother and stuff like that, she is afraid of accepting me or what can be done in this case.sorry story is a bit bizzare and very wrapped up so what can i do to get her to see that i am the individual for her accepting anything or anyway she is.I wanna reach that , that is unreachable to others but only with her.
Hello darling J-
I think you should just take a step back and breathe. You want what you can't have and I suggest you get over it and move on. A lesbian is not sexually attracted to men....period. If you can't accept being just friends, then move on. Sorry, but that the way the cookie crumbles.