Gay/Lesbian Issues/emotionla problem


QUESTION: what should I do to forget my only love he was my best friend I know him since 6 years but I fall in love with him in 2011 and I didn't tell him that because I know he is stright , he loved me as a best friend but we both loved each other with same power I loved him(although that I know our love is impossible) because he always protect me , always kiss me (not on the lips) and last year we were in the school and we were sitting on the ground I was holding his hand I told him I am gay and I love him very much , I thought he will take his hand away and say to me go away , he told me that it's ok and he knows that I have high manners and virtues and I will never do anything sexual with him , and that day was the best day in my life and for the first time he used the word ( baby ) with me , after a few weeks I told his mother (my english teacher ) and she changed his class ( we were in the same class ) and his love to me as a best friend started decreasing and I couldn't handle that and one day I told him I am tired I still love you and I started crying and he told me don't cry near me I can't see u crying and he hugged me I can't express what I felt but I stopped crying at once , I can't forget that moment the best moment in my past , present and future .
In the last summer we had a big fight because he wanted us to be best friends only and I told him I can never change from love to friendship we didn't talk since that fight and I tried to change this school because every time I see him after that fight I stop breathing because I remember the good days and the bad days but I couldn't change my school and now every day I suffer when I see him and he tries to hurt my feelings because he knows that I suffer every time I saw him and he go to my class every day :( plz help me I am hopeless.
some personal information : I am 16 , 11 grade , my bf in the same age
I am muslim and arabic , I should not put my name chris but I was afraid to not have an answer because of my religion and because I am arabic please I need the answer as fast as possible

ANSWER: You are in a very difficult situation, but I admire your courage to tell him about your love.  Unfortunately, he seems unable to feel the same depth and type of love as you feel for him.  Although it is so hard to let your first love go, if that love is not reciprocal, you will only feel heartache and will be blinded by a fantasy that will never happen.  In the meantime, there may be another boy who likes you very much and is so nervous to tell you.  You may not even be aware he exists at this moment!  You have to be willing to let your best friend be free to pursue a girl who will make him happy.  When you do this, you will feel the freedom to try and love again, even though it seems impossible to ever feel as much love as you do at this moment.  In a Muslim and Arabic culture, I know it is difficult to be open about who you are, but you also know that there are many boys who have the same feelings as you do.  In a time of war, the desire to love is even more powerful.  In the end, time will heal your heartache and also point you closer to your true love -- be patient.  I can also suggest, perhaps not now, but in a few months, to accept the "friendship only" desire of your best friend.  Sometimes a good friend will stick closer to you than family when times get difficult, so accept his gift, even if it isn't as glorious as you had hoped ;)

[an error occurred while processing this directive]---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thanks alot for your understanding to my culture and religion :) but what should I do we are not even friends rightnow we are enemies and every day in the school he tries to hurt my feelings and nobody can see it except me and him It's really hurts me when he comes to my class just to let me see him and I am trying my best to stay away from him last week he came to my class and I couldn't breathe because when I am very sad u can see that I am breathing but no oxyegen is entering and If  It takes a period of time I will die :(
that is what my doctor says .
In the end thank u alot for your answer it touched my heart deeply :)
may I ask u more questions :3 ?

ANSWER: Try to surround yourself with other friends in the meantime and let him play his games.  In due time, if he is a true friend, he will mature and stop acting in such a way.  Doing so will relax you and help you breathe and concentrate on other things.  Sure, you can ask more questions!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: does a person born gay ? I remember since I was 5 that I am attracted to hot boys :/ .
   and u said that maybe someone loves me but how can I know , thanks to god all people in the school loves me and all teacher , and maybe I think I know him but he is not my type .
 It's very difficult to any person to tell me If he loves me because all people know and say that I am a special person who is kind and generous and sensitive and I am a true muslim so the last one makes the situation very difficult because he will never ever think that I would be gay .
I believe that u can't find true love , true love will finds you O:)

Well, as you said, usually you cannot find true love -- true love finds you!  So, it is usually through what seems to be a very anxious friendship.  Look for signs of something maybe more than friendship among your classmates.  There is no secret formula -- it just takes patience, kindness, openness... he will come!  In answer to your other question, yes, most professionals now believe that a person is born with these feelings.  Some people may have a mixture of heterosexual and homosexual feelings and so, in theory, might have a more fluid sexuality that swings back and forth throughout their lifetime.  In any case, the way we are born is simply the way we are.  Best wishes!

Gay/Lesbian Issues

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




Sometimes a person feels that he or she cannot accept being gay because of his religion or his culture. I can answer questions related to religion, coming out, and society/culture in either English or Spanish.


I am a gay Christian who has lived in both the U.S. and Mexico. I was raised Southern Baptist.

None in this particular area.

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]