Gay/Lesbian Issues/Compliacated

Advertisement


Question
Hi

I need some advice as I am doing a stupid thing.

I am 22 and sleeping with a guy who is 61.

He is married and I am close to his wife but they are on the rocks.

It has been going on for nearly 2 years with a break in the middle.

It started out as him making the first move then it all started getting a lot more and then my family found out and nearly kicked me out.

A few months ago, I started seeing him again and I have got a gut feeling we are going to get found out again.

I am only doing this to give him company and keep him happy but I am getting bored and want to break it off.

I am waiting for him to break it off but it seems like forever.

I need this to end before his wife walks in on us one day and then that will be the end of it and my family will find out then I will be kicked out.

I am very muddled up on what to do.

Please help.

Thankyou.

Jonathan.

Answer
Dear Jonathan
Its simple to say....you should do what your gut says you should do....but I know it can be very complicated when it comes to doing it yourself....
But somehow....you need to weigh the risks & benefits of how much do you want to risk your relation with your family....or with him.....or his relation with his wife....or even your relation with his wife for that matter......
Dr. Kalra
India

Gay/Lesbian Issues

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Dr. Gurvinder Kalra

Expertise

I can answer questions related to gay and lesbian relationships, problems with self acceptance, dealing with coming out issues, conflicts with one's faith, religion and sexuality, or heartbreaks in these relationships. I can answer questions in English, Hindi, Marathi & Punjabi.

Experience

I have an interest in the area of alternative sexual lifestyles and have been working since September 2009 with Humsafar Trust, an NGO working for LGBT population, in the city of Mumbai, India. I am a psychiatrist by profession, completed my MD from Maharashtra University of Health Sciences, Nashik, Maharashtra, India. I have an experience of almost 4 years in the field of Psychiatry.

Organizations
Humsafar Trust, Mumbai

Publications
1. Kalra G, Bhugra D. Mutual learning and research messages: India, UK and Europe. Indian J Psychiatry 2010;52(7 Suppl 3):S56-63. [doi: 10.4103/0019-5545.69211] 2. Kalra G, Gupta S, Bhugra D. Sexual Variations in India: A view from the west. Indian J Psychiatry 2010;52(7 Suppl 3):S264-8. [doi: 10.4103/0019-5545.69244] 3. Kalra G, Bhugra D. Migration and Sexuality. Int J Cult Ment Health 2010;3(2):117-25. [doi: 10.1080/17542863.2010.498573] 4. Naughty at Ninety. The Telegraph, Sunday, dated 19th August 2007. (www.telegraphindia.com/1070819/asp/7days/story8209707.asp#).

Education/Credentials
MBBS MD Psychiatry Basic Course in Integrated Clinical Hypnosis Basic Course in Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) ICH-GCP Training 16 hours Intensive Workshop Training in Cognitive Behavior Therapy

Awards and Honors
1. A.V. SHAH BEST RESEARCH PAPER AWARD, at the 38th Annual Conference of Indian Psychiatry Society- West Zone Branch, Nagpur, India, 13th Oct 2007. 2. BOMBAY PSYCHIATRIC SOCIETY SILVER JUBILEE NATIONAL AWARD, at the 60th Annual National Conference of Indian Psychiatric Society (ANCIPS), in Kolkata on 4th January, 2008. 3. 2nd prize in the free paper session for presenting the paper “Sexual Attitudes & Behaviours in Individuals above 50” at the 24th National Conference of Sexology held in Jaipur in September, 2008. 4. BHAGWAT NATIONAL AWARD, for Co author of “Study of Emotional Intelligence in Medical Postgraduates”. The Study was presented in the 61st Annual National Conference of Indian Psychiatric Society (ANCIPS), in Agra on 6th January, 2009. 5. 1st prize in the Dr.S.M.Lulla Post Graduate Quiz held in July 2006 at Department of Psychiatry, T.N.M.C. Mumbai, India. 6. Won the Post Graduate Debate on “Involuntary Treatment in Psychiatric Patients is Unjust”, 2nd March 2008, T.N.M.C. Mumbai, India.

Past/Present Clients
I have dealt with many LGBT individuals with the above mentioned issues during my visits at Humsafar Trust and also during my clinical experience while doing my post-graduation.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.