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Gay/Lesbian Issues/does my collegue have a crush on me??3


Both female she is divorced but in a relationship.Has got grown-up kids.
i started to feel akward around her because sometimes she gives me the look(not a dirty one :)just a really strong eye contact like i could feel it in my bones) and say things out of the blue,i do catch her looking at me sometimes when i dont.we are just collegues not friends.She was doing me favour the other day and said at the end that see u r always in my mind,another time she called me my little love at the end of our conversation.In the past she was teasing me too with silly things,sometimes she ignores me too.i really do not know what to think of her does she like me??I never had feelings for same sex so what if she fancies me?

Dear Lara:

It is impossible for me to tell whether these are simply feelings of friendship or something more.  The problem is that without a clear signal any misstep on your part will result in her pulling away or feeling awkward in front of you.

The bigger question is whether you have feelings for her?  If so, can you ever see yourself being physically intimate?  If the answer to both of these questions is "yes" then sit and wait for a clearer signal before taking any action on your feelings.  If the answer is "no" to either, then just enjoy the friendship.  If something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable, then speak up.

I wish there was better advice that I could impart, but at this point I see it as a time of waiting and observing.



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Michael Hernandez


I can answer questions regarding gender issues having lived as both lesbian and gay. I can also address relationship questions being in a 14 year polyamorous relationship.


I am a trans (Female to Male) and have been in that community for the past 17 years and have presented in College/University classes as well as maintaining a website with links and information regarding gender issues []

Organizations belong to
National Writer's Union, FTM Alliance of Los Angeles, Inc.

I've written articles for gender publications and have contributions in Bears on Bears by Ron Suresha (Los Angeles: Alyson Publications, 2002), Academy: Tales of the Market Place by Laura Antoniou (New York: Mystic Rose Books, 2000), "I Am Neither Man Nor Woman" Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue, ed. Leslie Feinberg (Boston: Beacon Press, 1998), "Holding My Breath Under Water" Looking Queer , ed. Dawn Atkins (Hayworth Press, 1998), "Boundaries: Gender and Transgenderism," The Second Coming , eds. Pat(rick) Califia and Robin Sweeney (San Francisco: Alyson Publications, 1996), and "Packing, Passing & Pissing," Dagger , eds. Lily Burana, Roxxie, and Linnea Due (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 1994). Appearance in Transmen & FTMS: Identities, Bodies, Genders & Sexualities by Jason Cromwell (University of Illinois Press, 1999), etc.

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