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About Debbie
Expertise
I am married to a male to female transsexual and I am able to answer questions regarding life with transsexuals, support groups, understanding transgenderism. I can answer general questions about transsexuals but not medical ones. I have studied transgenderism and read up on the subject.

Experience
I am married to a transsexual

Awards and Honors
I have recieved several awards from the transgendered community for my website on transgenderism.

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Boyfriend's transsexual Interest

Gay/Lesbian Issues - Boyfriend's transsexual Interest

Expert: Debbie - 10/20/2005

Question
Debbie,
Thank you for taking the time to help me. I am a 23 year old female and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for over 3 years. Yesterday, I discoverd that he was writing extremely erotic emails to a male to female transsexual named Rachel from July through September.

In the emails were pictures of Rachel (that he had requested) in lingerie, and descriptions of her plans to "gang-bang" him with her t-girl friends. In his reply, he went into great detail about how much this aroused him, especially the thought of her and her friends' "girl-penises". Evidently, he was planning to visit her in California (we live in Florida) this month.

I woke my boyfriend to confront him about this, and he said that a gay friend of his, Kenny, who lives in California had put him into telephone contact with Rachel in July. My boyfriend denies expressing any interest in transsexuals to Kenny-that it was strictly Kenny's idea to have Rachel call him. In any event, my boyfriend says Rachel had given him her email, and he wrote to her first. He stopped replying to her last month because he felt guilty.

He says that he was acting out a fantasy in the emails, but never planned to actually see her. He swears that he was not genuinely aroused, and that he does not consider himself bisexual. He also says that he has never looked up transexual porn.

I understand that transgenderism can be seperate from homosexuality, but it appeared to me that he was mostly excited by the fact that she was a woman with a penis. Does this mean he is bisexual? Why would he continue to deny this to me? This whole thing makes me afraid that he will start having affairs with transsexuals. I love him, but I don't know how to handle this situation. Is this a sign that something further will develop, or should I accept it as a one time fantasy?

I hope you can shed some light on this for me, as I know little about relationships with transsexuals and have had no luck getting answers through regular internet searches.
Thank you so much,
Liz

Answer
Dear Liz,

It sounds like you need to go looking for a new boyfriend. Any man who is going to lie to you is so not worth it and regardless of how he tells you he feels he lied to you by not telling you about it and he was cheating w/another person. In my OPin. anybody that emails someone that long and requests photos is not bluffing w/them if it had been one email or two then ya maybe but not that many. And if I were you I d be hightailing it out of there.

Debbie

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