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Gay/Lesbian Issues/Questions Answered by Expert Michael Hernandez
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Boyfriend questioning sexuality. | 12/28/2011 |
| Q: my name is Brittany. About a month ago my boyfriend and i had talked about having anal sex, which ... A: First and foremost, this did not happen because you strapped "it" on. It feels like an excuse to ... | |
| How do I get over him? | 11/8/2011 |
| Q: I came out almost a year ago and I'm 22 years old. And to celebrate the occasion I went on vacation ... A: The only way I know to "get over" someone either time and distance meaning no contact for an ... | |
| Is my husband gay? | 11/4/2011 |
| Q: I have had these strong Intuitive thoughts for 3 years that I have known my husband. I am beginning ... A: None of the information that you provided leads me to believe that your husband is gay although the ... | |
| Married and Bi | 11/2/2011 |
| Q: I am a 23 year old women. I have been married for almost 4 years. I love my husband very much and we ... A: First and foremost do NOT tell your parents that you are either sexually attracted to this woman or ... | |
| trust | 9/30/2011 |
| Q: would like to ask you for some advice on a matter. My boyfriend remains friends with his ex who is ... A: I guess the real question is whether Gareth and James have been in an open relationship all along or ... | |
| Lesbianism in India | 9/28/2011 |
| Q: First of all my heartiest apology for long e mail but i realy need your help.. I'm from India n ... A: Culturally it is challenging in India where the opposite sexes are expected to marry based on ... | |
| Confused | 9/16/2011 |
| Q: I was married and pregnant at a young age(18). Divorced two yrs later, single mother of two ... A: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but from everything that you have told me your relationship ... | |
| Lesbian & Christian | 9/15/2011 |
| Q: I'm a 40 something yr old lesbian & have been a person who has struggled with my sexuality the ... A: My feeling is that you have the ability to help. I can see the sense of backing away and letting ... | |
| How do I get through this? | 9/14/2011 |
| Q: I've recently discovered that my wife is having an affair with another woman. The woman is a long ... A: Well, I think that you are both moving in a good direction. You said exactly what you needed and ... | |
| How do I get through this? | 9/10/2011 |
| Q: I've recently discovered that my wife is having an affair with another woman. The woman is a long ... A: Oh Matt, I am so sorry to hear this. Having been married more than 20 years, I'd say there is ... | |
| how to deal with this situation? | 8/15/2011 |
| Q: I am pradeep, below is the last answer i received from you for my problem : ********************** ... A: I can't answer that question. That's a decision that you will need to make for yourself. If it ... | |
| how to deal with this situation? | 8/14/2011 |
| Q: I am pradeep, below is the last answer i received from you for my problem : ********************** ... A: I'm not going to be able to be of much help because you are probably not going to be happy with what ... | |
| How do I get her to say yes? | 8/5/2011 |
| Q: Hey so I was wondering if you would be able to help me a little as I am very very confused. I'm a 15 ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but I don't know of a way to get her to say yes. The fact ... | |
| Cant figure out if he is cheating on me. | 7/27/2011 |
| Q: i am a 30 yr old gay guy and i have been in a relationship with a 40 yr old top guy since last six ... A: First and foremost, don't tell him that it's okay to do something when it's not. You should have ... | |
| I love her | 7/25/2011 |
| Q: Okay...Me and my ex girlfriend were talking for 7 months. (Keep in mind that she is a recovering ... A: It's a difficult situation. She may not know what she wants. She's dealing with sobriety which is ... | |
| Lesbian has a crush on me | 7/21/2011 |
| Q: I'm 22/f and not interested in girls. I've been friends with LR who is 24/f for about a year, ... A: What you might want to try is to use the next time she says something like that as an opportunity to ... | |
| male orgasm | 7/10/2011 |
| Q: My question is. Ive found out recently that whenever im in bed with a guy who has a bigger than ... A: The answer is that men do have a "g-spot", it's called the prostate. What is happening is that the ... | |
| can i stop being gay ? | 7/1/2011 |
| Q: i am 18 years old boy ! i think i am gay ,i have never had gay sex i only like watching gay videos ... A: R.: So far you have only described what you enjoy watching. Watching is not doing. It is quite ... | |
| I have a crush on one of my best friends. | 6/27/2011 |
| Q: I've had an inner battle for a while, deciding whether or not I should come out to my friends as bi ... A: You still have a crush on her regardless of her behaviour. What I can't tell from your question is ... | |
| Cant figure out if he is cheating on me. | 6/18/2011 |
| Q: i am a 30 yr old gay guy and i have been in a relationship with a 40 yr old top guy since last six ... A: It's normal to look. The comment would not be so bad except that it hurts your feelings. You can ... | |
| Cant figure out if he is cheating on me. | 6/16/2011 |
| Q: i am a 30 yr old gay guy and i have been in a relationship with a 40 yr old top guy since last six ... A: It is impossible for me to tell for certain if your partner is cheating. What leads me to believe ... | |
| It feels like my parents hate me | 4/25/2011 |
| Q: I am a 20-year old woman currently in a wonderful, loving relationship with the girl I am completely ... A: Your parents need time to deal with you coming out. It is not uncommon for parents to feel fear, ... | |
| My wife thinks she is a lesbian | 4/9/2011 |
| Q: I will always remember the day back in July 2009 where my wife changed personality. Before July ... A: I'm not exactly sure where to start. There are many things in play here. First, it is clear from ... | |
| My Relationship problem | 3/14/2011 |
| Q: This is my first time asking a question on here, so this might be a little rusty, but I will try my ... A: There may be another way to look at your situation. Right now you are freaking yourself out over ... | |
| lesbian women hitting on my mom | 3/3/2011 |
| Q: Im new to this site so please bare with me. I remember when my mom was in her 30's my mom was ... A: It is possible that she set up your mom. Short hair, tattoos, and a dominant personality do not ... | |
| lesbian women hitting on my mom | 2/26/2011 |
| Q: Im new to this site so please bare with me. I remember when my mom was in her 30's my mom was ... A: It is not possible for me to tell what this woman is thinking. She may have a crush on your Mom. ... | |
| Question intensions | 2/15/2011 |
| Q: Is it normal for gay men to seek comfort in straight women For EG. A group of straight women have a ... A: You left out one key word out of the following sentence - "gay men are gay because they find a ... | |
| Overweight in the Gay Scene... | 2/10/2011 |
| Q: Hey so here's my question,I looking for a relationship but i'm really unsecured about my physical ... A: There is no simple answer. It would be nice of there was a formula that either reduces fear of ... | |
| Is my husband gay? | 1/26/2011 |
| Q: It was only a few weeks after meeting my husband that I starting suspecting he was gay. He is Marine ... A: Sexual practices, desires, and arousal triggers vary from person to person. Not all men line to be ... | |
| what does it mean? | 1/16/2011 |
| Q: last night at the end of a large dinner/social function with variety of guests a friend of mine ... A: I am not familiar with this form of handshake. I ran a google search and there appeared to be mixed ... | |
| Im Really Confused | 1/3/2011 |
| Q: I have been bi for about 2 years. Last summer i told my best friend about me being bi, and now about ... A: It sounds like you have a clear handle on who you are. Your Mom, clearly knows, and is either ... | |
| Ex troubles | 1/2/2011 |
| Q: Me and my ex girlfriend nikki broke up about 6 months ago. I broke up with her due to the fact I was ... A: The best that you can do is learn from the situation and move on. Clearly your ex called got ... | |
| Crushing on my straight friend | 12/29/2010 |
| Q: Me and my friend sophie have always been close. 2 years ago (11th grade) I told her I was bi and she ... A: It sounds like your friend has told you more than once that she's not a lesbian. It's clear that ... | |
| My wife's comming out | 12/29/2010 |
| Q: I met my wife a little over three years ago. She had 2 kids from a previous marriage and I have 3, ... A: I'm very sorry to hear that you and the kids are going through this. Frankly, you are doing ... | |
| i like my gay friend | 12/28/2010 |
| Q: ,, I'm really confused about my feelings.. i am 27 and my friend is 20 i know he is gay,, so much ... A: It is possible that your friend likes you the same way that you like him. Thing is, if he is gay ... | |
| Need some advice | 11/2/2010 |
| Q: I've been in a relationship for about 4+ years with my 23yr old girlfriend. We broke up 2 years ago, ... A: There does not appear to be a question in your post. You've already followed the advice that I ... | |
| Straight Friend Keeps Discussing the Past | 10/22/2010 |
| Q: I am married, but am a closeted bi-sexual. Years ago, I gave head to a childhood friend when we ... A: The fact that he keeps talking about the event when relaxed by booze leads me to strongly suspect ... | |
| difficult relationship | 10/5/2010 |
| Q: hey, sorry in advance this is going to be a little long but I want you to understand the situation, ... A: it certainly is helpful. The problem with this relationship is that she's confused and is not ... | |
| Am I Gay or What? | 9/13/2010 |
| Q: I am a 18-year-old female and it seems my confusion over my sexuality has been spiraling out of ... A: Sorry about the delay in responding. I did not see the follow up question. Yes there are FTMs who ... | |
| Am I Gay or What? | 9/11/2010 |
| Q: I am a 18-year-old female and it seems my confusion over my sexuality has been spiraling out of ... A: Based on the feeling like a boy comments and before you came out an said "my problem isn't that I ... | |
| Transgender | 8/18/2010 |
| Q: I have been with my husband for 15 years. Everyone has always assumed he was gay due to his feminine ... A: I am sorry to hear about your dilemma and have been attempting to frame an appropriate response as ... | |
| women's beauty vs men | 8/15/2010 |
| Q: Why are naked women viewed as beautiful and naked men viewed as gross? Lesbians are viewed as sexy, ... A: I suspect that the answer lies in societal norms regarding female nudity versus male nudity. You ... | |
| How can I stop gay thoughts. | 7/10/2010 |
| Q: I am a 17 year old boy and recently I have been having a problem. I have been having gay thoughts ... A: Here's what I do know. The more you try to suppress something, the worse it gets. Given the ... | |
| How can I stop gay thoughts. | 7/4/2010 |
| Q: I am a 17 year old boy and recently I have been having a problem. I have been having gay thoughts ... A: At your age it is normal to have a wide variety of sexual thoughts. There is nothing wrong with ... | |
| Am I Bisexual? | 5/11/2010 |
| Q: I am 16,female and a virgin. About a year ago, I was on my brothers laptop and I found some porn on ... A: Fantasies are a normal part of sexuality. Same sex fantasies aren't out of the ordinary. It is ... | |
| ex-gay girlfriend | 4/29/2010 |
| Q: I was with my ex 18yrs..we broke up a yr and a half ago..she met a married woman with 4 kids..24yrs ... A: It sounds like you aren't quite over the relationship and wondering whether there is something ... | |
| The guy I thought I was in love with may be gay/bi | 4/28/2010 |
| Q: A few months ago I got into a strange, silly relationship with a guy I met for three dates in a ... A: It is impossible to truly tell whether your boyfriend is gay/bi/or just experimented and decided ... | |
| gay friend | 4/20/2010 |
| Q: and one night when he stayed at my house and we sort of got together. anyway that night he asked me ... A: If he already identifies as gay, is out to you, and you've already had an experience, then don't ... | |
| Is he Gay? | 4/19/2010 |
| Q: There is a guy at work his name is Damico. He just recently married a girl named Megan she had ... A: None of the information that you provided leads me to believe that Damico is gay. I don't even know ... | |
| bisexual boyfriend. | 4/9/2010 |
| Q: it really didn't bother me much at first ,but not that long ago he told me that he has had sex with ... A: I'm a little confused. Did you know that he was bisexual when you got together or was it something ... | |
| i do not know!! | 4/7/2010 |
| Q: i am 17 years old and i have had one girlfriend for a little over a year. yes i am also a girl, and ... A: I don't have the ability to text you a response to your question. I have no idea whether it is ... | |
| My wife and her EX | 3/25/2010 |
| Q: My wife of whom I have been married to for just over a year has started seeing her Ex girlfriend ... A: Hmm . . . what to do. You have a rather fine line to walk here. Let the initiate the chat unless ... | |
| Sexuality is confusing | 3/20/2010 |
| Q: I'm a 31 year old straight professional woman (not married but hoping to settle down and raise a ... A: I agree that it's hard to meet men who aren't threatened by professional women with an earning ... | |
| Is he gay? | 3/16/2010 |
| Q: Ok I have been with a man for over 3 years and we've had an okay relationship until we stopped ... A: Given that you found his profile on websites claiming to be bi, I'd say that his "hatred" is a front ... | |
| i want to tell my wife im bi but... | 3/16/2010 |
| Q: Ok so here is the thing I'm bisexual I have been for years, I never told my wife before we got ... A: You have a challenging situation. Here's the deal. Tell the wife and potentially the military ... | |
| My relationship? | 3/8/2010 |
| Q: it shows that you know alot about the transgendered community. I was wondering about something that ... A: Based on the information that you provided it appears that you have a strong lesbian identity, are ... | |
| confused | 3/5/2010 |
| Q: Ok so i'm not sure if this is pop culture working on me or something but i feel confused. i'm ... A: From what you wrote, I suspect that you are just aren't ready to have sex with anyone and that's ... | |
| Is my lesbian lover still into me | 3/3/2010 |
| Q: I am in my first lesbian relationship after being married for 18 years to a man. She is butch, but ... A: The changes that you describe are rather abrupt. Since you say that she's not good at expressing ... | |
| I am very confused | 2/22/2010 |
| Q: Ever since i was a child I always liked boys. As i started to grow up i would notice that girls are ... A: It's hard for me to tell what it is. Whether it gets classified as a phase or not depends wholly on ... | |
| I don't think what to think.. | 2/11/2010 |
| Q: I have never had a girlfriend.. I have always liked girls. All I can remember is wanting a girl ... A: It sounds like you need to address the underlying situation - your shyness and low self-esteem. ... | |
| My relationship is ending and I don't know what to do | 1/16/2010 |
| Q: I have been with my girlfriend for 2 and half years now. For the past 6 months our sex life has ... A: It is not uncommon for relationships to get strained at or about the two year mark. So long as your ... | |
| Suggestion | 1/11/2010 |
| Q: am a 31 years gay guy. I want you advice on how to come out to my parents. I have tried a lot but ... A: Telling parents can be challenging. This is even moreso in a culture which values marriage and ... | |
| Depressed | 1/10/2010 |
| Q: I feel extremely depressed and feel like giving up everything. I am sexually attracted to my bestest ... A: I am so sorry to hear this and fully understand your predicament. There are social pressures to ... | |
| Who am I? | 1/9/2010 |
| Q: Im really nervous about asking for advice but here it goes, it might be quite long too sorry. Im a ... A: I don't have any online resources for counseling. Try Rainbow Youth at ... | |
| Who am I? | 1/9/2010 |
| Q: Im really nervous about asking for advice but here it goes, it might be quite long too sorry. Im a ... A: I have no way of knowing whether you are simply curious. Only you will be able to ultimately make ... | |
| no love life | 1/6/2010 |
| Q: My partner and I have been together for almost 15 years we love each other deeply. The problem..sex ... A: I will unfortunately be of no assistance whatsoever. I have a similar situation and have just ... | |
| Help... Confused | 12/5/2009 |
| Q: I'm 13 year old male and i don't even know im so confused right now i have these thoughts in my head ... A: J. Some straight men have fantasies about kissing or having sex with other men and are still ... | |
| suggestion | 12/4/2009 |
| Q: I have a unmarried 27 yr old female friend of mine who, has Bi-Sexual feelings. Also she is very ... A: If you are referring to bisexuality as in attraction to both men and women, that cannot be confirmed ... | |
| Gender change | 11/29/2009 |
| Q: Chastity Bono and her girlfriend Jennifer, were in a lesbian relationship. Now that Chastity (Chas) ... A: The bottom line is that the answer is complicated and for the two people in the relationship to ... | |
| signs of a gay or bi husband | 11/7/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I been married for three years. When we first got together my husband was totally ... A: The fact that your husband has handsome features that remind you of women, is inclined to ... | |
| Advice me please | 11/2/2009 |
| Q: my name is Smith. i have heard that ur concern provides counselling and advise regarding sexual ... A: I'm sure that there are counseling services available, but it would depend on where you live or ... | |
| Male cousin or girlfriend? | 10/22/2009 |
| Q: I have always been attracted to guys, thats a fact, I don't know if this has anything to do but i ... A: There is too much risk on a variety of levels to proceed. As you mentioned, if you happen to be ... | |
| Am i really a lesbian?How do i find a partner in Nigeria? | 10/15/2009 |
| Q: I've had feelings for women since puberty,i'm 27 now.I dream of being with a woman when i'm alone ... A: Perhaps you just haven't met the right woman or it could be that your attraction is simply a ... | |
| age gap problem or is it. | 10/6/2009 |
| Q: heya, well basically im 16 years old, and im a lesbian. ive known since a very young age. However, i ... A: A two year difference is nothing to worry about. My partner is 9 years older than I am. I know a ... | |
| Sexually confused | 10/2/2009 |
| Q: lately I have had a bunch of gay guys hit on me. I have always dated women and never even looked or ... A: Sorry to hear about the confusion. Here's my take on it. Fantasy and reality are two completely ... | |
| Help me please!!!!?? | 10/1/2009 |
| Q: this is gonna be long but honest so please dont mind, i use to be the type of kid when i was 16 to ... A: The statement that you "tried the whole sober thing" leads me to believe that you aren't presently ... | |
| Help me please!!!!?? | 9/30/2009 |
| Q: this is gonna be long but honest so please dont mind, i use to be the type of kid when i was 16 to ... A: Hey Thomas: You aren't gay because you had a little trouble getting an erection once. Yes, I say ... | |
| crisis gender pull | 9/29/2009 |
| Q: I'm a confused about why I've a cosmic pull otwards other women. I've always felt some women are hot ... A: Seems that you have a bit of a predicament. What I remember the most about transitioning from ... | |
| Torn | 9/28/2009 |
| Q: I'm was a 21 year old, straight girl. I grow up in a very strict, religious and well-respected ... A: Given the history that you have provided regarding prior relationships, I would strongly encourage ... | |
| So confused. | 9/23/2009 |
| Q: Well I'm an 17 year old lesbian...and im going through an awkward stage. I cant figure out how to ... A: I have no clue what a stud type lesbian is. You also managed to pick the wrong person for dress or ... | |
| Fantasy or a real life want | 9/21/2009 |
| Q: I am a female (straight who enjoys sex with men) but I watch male on male gay porn and am greatly ... A: I know a number of women who think that male on male porn is hot, hot, hot. It seems that you do ... | |
| Help! I love my gay best friend! | 8/30/2009 |
| Q: I am in a bit of pickle, I romantically love my Best friend who is a gay man. I'm sure you have ... A: Yes, this issue has come up before, but there is no easy fix. Unfortunately, only time and distance ... | |
| connfuusseed! | 8/22/2009 |
| Q: I am so confused. I thought I was completely heterosexual, until about a year and a half ago. I ... A: The only way to get your mind off guys is (1) just let things be and (2) worry about the fact that ... | |
| confused bi-sexual | 8/6/2009 |
| Q: I have been with my husband for almost 12 years. We have been together since I was 15 he was 14. I ... A: I apologize for the delay. Just received your query. Your husband is titillated by watching the ... | |
| Is my husband gay or bisexual? | 7/29/2009 |
| Q: This is rather embaressing for me because I have never sought out professional help for this before. ... A: I can tell that you're at the breaking point. I definitely think that you should seek therapy to ... | |
| Is my husband bi-sexual? | 7/20/2009 |
| Q: The other night while my husband was out I noticed he left his computer on. Being very curious I ... A: Your husband is having a good time pretending to be someone he's not. As you said, he's not meeting ... | |
| Confused about sexuality | 7/20/2009 |
| Q: I guess I'm looking for some kind of general advice. My situation is a bit complicated, but I will ... A: No apology necessary. In fact, every piece of information that you provided was clear, concise, and ... | |
| married bi man | 7/10/2009 |
| Q: i am a 26 yr old married man. me and my wife have been married for about a year and a half. i told ... A: Your ex is convinced that you would have left her, so she left first in order not to be hurt. You ... | |
| guilty | 7/5/2009 |
| Q: She has recently made sexual advances towards me stating she is staight but is attracted to me.Iam ... A: I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. I never received the first email. There are ... | |
| Who am I? | 6/17/2009 |
| Q: For almost two years now, I've been confused about my sexuality. It started when I became friends ... A: Lesbians aren't gross despite what your gay guy friend says. He's into different parts after all. ... | |
| Ashey<333 | 6/16/2009 |
| Q: Ok I'm joanna i'm 13 & gay. I really like this girl ashley I only meet her 2 times but I talk to ... A: I'm pretty sure that you wrote to me the other day and I answered this question already. Your ... | |
| hi | 6/16/2009 |
| Q: can you please tell me about lesbian clubs in new jersey.thank you A: I am not familiar with any of the lesbian clubs in New Jersey. I ran a google search and found the ... | |
| ♥kc girl♥ | 6/16/2009 |
| Q: ok I'm 13 & gay.i'm out to like 7 of my friends.im including kasey.she is one of my best friend.the ... A: I have no clue whether Kasey likes you in the way that you like her. The urges are normal for your ... | |
| fed up | 6/10/2009 |
| Q: It seems really hard for me to find anyone nowadays, and the only girls I've been involved with had ... A: Meeting quality people can be affected by where you are searching. If it's the pubs or the GLBT ... | |
| Relationship & Friends | 6/10/2009 |
| Q: I'm new to the experiences of the Bisexual/Gay world. I don't title myself as a lesbian nor do I ... A: If you are going to be in a quad, you need to learn to communicate or the whole thing is going to ... | |
| in love with straight friend | 6/9/2009 |
| Q: My best friend is straight, funny, and beautiful. I came out to her and she seemed ok with it... not ... A: She's more than likely shocked by the revelation and what it could mean. If she's straight then she ... | |
| Inlove with him . but unsure if he's gay | 6/7/2009 |
| Q: hopefully you can help me, cause im in such a dilema basically im inlove with this guy i met at ... A: It sounds like he could be, but again. There's is no positive proof, so you are running a risk. ... | |
| Inlove with him . but unsure if he's gay | 6/6/2009 |
| Q: hopefully you can help me, cause im in such a dilema basically im inlove with this guy i met at ... A: Greeting Ian: My best advice is to continue to enjoy his company. Not all gay men are feminine or ... | |
| Lesbian issues | 6/5/2009 |
| Q: I have a daughter who is 27. She has not had a lesbian experience. Now she tells me she is in love ... A: I'm not sure that women just have flings, but your daughter is young and anything can happen. I ... | |
| Relationship & Friends | 6/3/2009 |
| Q: I'm new to the experiences of the Bisexual/Gay world. I don't title myself as a lesbian nor do I ... A: You can't force your emotions to change. Clearly, you feel left out or ignored during the ... | |
| My boyfriend has severe self-esteem issues, what do I do? | 6/3/2009 |
| Q: Its going on to one year of being with my boyfriend. We have been through a lot together. Just ... A: I am very sorry to hear that your partner is having these issues. These are serious problems that ... | |
| my 3 year relationship | 6/2/2009 |
| Q: I hope you can help me. Ok I've been with my gf for almost 3 years now. When we met I had long hair ... A: Unfortunately, the amount of sex in a relationship seems to decline in relation to the amount of ... | |
| i dont understand | 5/23/2009 |
| Q: Ok this is hard for me to explain i have never done this before. here it is I am a divorced 35yr old ... A: You mention relationships with women, so I suspect that you are either straight (if you identify as ... | |
| I am so monumentally confused | 5/18/2009 |
| Q: I am struggling with some strange problems that I'm honestly not really sure how to articulate here. ... A: It doesn't sound like you are gay. It sounds like you might be transgendered to me, but I ... | |
| me being gay and my mother | 5/18/2009 |
| Q: I am currently still married to a man. Trying to move toward divorce to be with my girlfriend. My ... A: Your mom was probably born in the early to mid 1950s. It was a different era. Her expectations re: ... | |
| I am so monumentally confused | 5/15/2009 |
| Q: I am struggling with some strange problems that I'm honestly not really sure how to articulate here. ... A: I can't quite tell from your question why it is that you feel like a woman in private. Wanting to ... | |
| sexuality | 5/15/2009 |
| Q: I'm a 29 year old male in a relationship with my best friend and love of my life. She knows I like ... A: There's a huge difference between sex and love. In the best of cases you find both within the same ... | |
| sexual attraction | 5/13/2009 |
| Q: My question is I am so curious about being with another guy but I am too shy and worried I don't ... A: I understand your curiosity, but you should give a great deal of thought as to how this could or ... | |
| just dont know wat to think | 5/13/2009 |
| Q: well been wiv my girlfriend nearly two yrs now lesbian relationship.it feels like shes a jekyl n ... A: You clearly aren't happy in the relationship, but trying desperately to change it or hoping for the ... | |
| Confused, Lost, Angry, Hurting | 5/11/2009 |
| Q: I am a 29 year old woman. I have been married for 2 1/2 years, to a great guy who treats me right. I ... A: Connections of the type that you described escape explanation. They just happen. It doesn't feel ... | |
| help please | 5/11/2009 |
| Q: I'm an 18 year-old male who has always identified as straight, but have now realised that I am ... A: You have expressed one isolated instance of attraction. It didn't go anywhere from a sexual ... | |
| What is this guy's intention? | 5/11/2009 |
| Q: There is this guy who lives near me and works at a local bookstore. I thought he's attractive but ... A: You are getting mixed messages from this guy and as hard as he is for you to read him in person, ... | |
| confused... | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: I've been a little confused about my sexuality for a while. I've only been in relationships with ... A: It could be that the guys that you have been with were just not that talented, but I suspect that if ... | |
| Is she a lesbian or just overly friendly? | 4/21/2009 |
| Q: I'm 27 years old and I have become friends with an 18 yr old girl at work. She has always been nice ... A: It's hard for me to tell what's going on. So far the behavior that you described is not sexual in ... | |
| Relationships..... | 4/2/2009 |
| Q: I need serious help!! I am a lesbian and I am in love with a married women, Her partner and her have ... A: The way you have described your current situation, it's appears that she has no intention of leaving ... | |
| making it work | 3/28/2009 |
| Q: site. I tend to use too many words, but I'll try to get to the point. I found this place while ... A: I apologize for the delay, but I never received your original message. Just got notified by the ... | |
| fantasy | 3/23/2009 |
| Q: We are sexually active and our sex is very satisfying. But ive had this weird fantasy for a while & ... A: I think that fantasy is part of a healthy sexual relationship. The important thing is that it be ... | |
| i am a lesbian in love with a married woman | 3/22/2009 |
| Q: i am 38 going to church and i don't feel wrong for being a lesbian but then i find my self in love ... A: I don't know why she's acting that way. Maybe she feels neglected by her husband and you make her ... | |
| i am a lesbian in love with a married woman | 3/21/2009 |
| Q: i am 38 going to church and i don't feel wrong for being a lesbian but then i find my self in love ... A: Good to hear that you don't feel from for being who you are and that you are respecting someone's ... | |
| Help Me Please...In need of advice | 3/8/2009 |
| Q: I have been involved in a relationship with a woman for almost 1 year and a half. We love each other ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you have a really good handle on the ... | |
| i think i may be a lesbian | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR TWO YEARS, I JUST ENDED IT BECAUSE IT WAS ABUSIVE, SO ... A: My greater concern is your pattern of abusive relationships. These types of things can occur in ... | |
| am i a lesbian? | 3/3/2009 |
| Q: i'm a 14 year old girl and i have a question about whether i could be a lesbian. first of all, i'm ... A: The fact that you think that penises are gross or ugly does not make you a lesbian. Another clue is ... | |
| what do I do? | 2/23/2009 |
| Q: I have been seeing this woman for a year. She has changed towards me in the last few months. We ... A: It's difficult to predict human behaviour. I suggest that you just be yourself. Don't make ... | |
| Sex has nothing to do with love? | 2/22/2009 |
| Q: I fell in love with a woman 6 months ago. I was the one who initiated the relationship. According to ... A: the additional information certainly helps. As for me and my partner, not a health issue. Not ... | |
| relationship advice | 2/13/2009 |
| Q: Alright.. this is kind of awkward for me since I’m not the kind of person to ask for advice. I met ... A: Good Morning Evan: I apologize for not having responded sooner, but did not receive notification of ... | |
| shocking news from dad | 2/11/2009 |
| Q: Just last night me and my dad were on a walk when we got home he told me something I had never ... A: Hang in there. It was a big deal for your Dad to come out to you. The fact that he married a woman ... | |
| 9 Year Gay Marriage - Adultry | 2/9/2009 |
| Q: This is hard for me to write as I just found out that my husband of 9 years has cheated on me. A ... A: Adultry during a monogamous relationship is always hurtful. The thing is, if he wasn't interested ... | |
| My cousin, My Love!!! | 1/29/2009 |
| Q: I'm a male 30 years old, I dont know how it sounds to the one reading it, but i'm gonna tell the ... A: Your cousin is distancing himself because he does not know how to act around you given the ... | |
| Me and my boyfriend | 1/26/2009 |
| Q: I'm Jason, a 19-year-old gay guy, and a friend of mine recommended this site. I hope you can offer ... A: If you are only 5 months into the relationship, he forgot your birthday and doesn't want to have ... | |
| teen issues | 1/25/2009 |
| Q: I am having issues with my life, I am 17 years old male and many of my friends think that i am gay. ... A: There is nothing more challenging that your teen years in High School. It's a fishbowl that runs on ... | |
| girlfriend saying she is confused | 1/23/2009 |
| Q: I have been dating my girlfriend for almost three years now. And all of a sudden she is saying that ... A: Just continue to be yourself. If you have concerns talk to her about it. For example "It seems to ... | |
| girlfriend saying she is confused | 1/22/2009 |
| Q: I have been dating my girlfriend for almost three years now. And all of a sudden she is saying that ... A: 3 years is a good stint of time. You'd have picked up on something not being quite right before ... | |
| Gay Rights1 | 1/19/2009 |
| Q: I found your intelligence on the topic to be very down to earth. I am currently a freshman writing a ... A: I'm not so sure what you mean by government interference, but I will do my best to provide my ... | |
| Am I Bisexual? | 1/10/2009 |
| Q: I'm a 13 year old girl and I have a question about whether I'm bisexual or not. First of all, I like ... A: One experience doesn't make you bisexual. Being adventurous and having an open mind about sex ... | |
| Help me i cant stand this anymore | 1/2/2009 |
| Q: A few years ago my friend persuaded me to mess around a bit i felt realy asshamed streigh away and ... A: There really is nothing that I can do to help you directly. I think that the best thing for you to ... | |
| lost | 12/17/2008 |
| Q: I have been involved with my girlfriend since jan of 2007. When we started out it was shaky but it ... A: All that you can do is to talk to her about how you feel. It appears to me that part of the problem ... | |
| friend or lover?...how can you tell for sure if you are gay? | 12/9/2008 |
| Q: Hey.I am 22 years old, and I am very confused. I feel strange to dealing with this questions at this ... A: Only you can answer that question. However, given the information that you have provided, I ... | |
| still not sure | 12/7/2008 |
| Q: i wrote before about me and my friend getting drunk and having oral sex. while i dont want to be gay ... A: Fantasizing and giving yourself anal stimulation while masturbating does not make you gay. If you ... | |
| Why would a straight woman flirt with a lesbian | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: I am in love with an older woman who comes into the cafe where I work. She is friendly to everyone, ... A: It's very hard to tell how people will react when the chips are down, but she does seem to be ... | |
| Im soo confussed | 11/26/2008 |
| Q: Hey I'm 14 and super confused... eversince i split with my boyfriend of 11 months i keep thinking ... A: I wouldn't worry about what you are going through. It's common for someone of your age who's ... | |
| separated.... | 11/23/2008 |
| Q: My wife and I recently separated. It started over me not telling her something and how i was so ... A: I have no clue why she's going back and forth. There is nothing more that I can tell you or provide ... | |
| separated.... | 11/23/2008 |
| Q: My wife and I recently separated. It started over me not telling her something and how i was so ... A: If she didn't love you she wouldn't be spending time with you and/or staying over. That being said, ... | |
| gay and single and sick of it | 11/22/2008 |
| Q: I recently read a similar post about this, I'm also 21 and gay and have never dated, never kissed a ... A: Relationships take time and patience. Speed dating would have been a good way to meet a lot of ... | |
| separated.... | 11/22/2008 |
| Q: My wife and I recently separated. It started over me not telling her something and how i was so ... A: I'm not sure what normal is. I know people who have been able to maintain long distance ... | |
| Am I a lesbian or am I not? | 11/16/2008 |
| Q: I'm 13.I'm a girl.I feel that I'm overeffactuated with breasts.I searched on the internet about ... A: I think you are a normal 13 year old. Raging hormones. Nothing you have said leads me to believe ... | |
| Am I a lesbian or am I not? | 11/15/2008 |
| Q: I'm 13.I'm a girl.I feel that I'm overeffactuated with breasts.I searched on the internet about ... A: The lack of paragraphs and the stream of consciousness questions made your communication difficult ... | |
| fiance ex wife is gay and aggressive | 11/13/2008 |
| Q: I am engaged to a man who was married for 16 years to a gay woman. She came out, cheated on him, ... A: First and foremost, you need to take care of you. My concern is that (1) he's not listening to you, ... | |
| Could I be a lesbian? | 10/24/2008 |
| Q: I'm 13.I'm a girl.I know that you guys won't respond to anyone under 18 or 19 but I really need ... A: Take a moment to consider that what has you entirely freaked out are nothing more than thoughts at ... | |
| i am so cinfused | 10/8/2008 |
| Q: hey Michael umm i have this problem where i love women but its weird whenever i am horny or just ... A: I know lesbians who watch nothing, but gay male porn, yet they aren't into men. Conclusion, fantasy ... | |
| how to approach to a friend on whom u have doubt he may be gay | 10/7/2008 |
| Q: AM HARSH AM 18/M I HAVE A VERY GOOD FREIND NAMED SUNNY I AM VERY CLOSE TO HIM WHEN EVER WE R SITTING ... A: Greetings Harsh: You need to be very careful and think through all of the possible things that can ... | |
| I crossed the line | 9/28/2008 |
| Q: First I want to say I am SOOOOOOOOO ASHAMED at what I am about to tell you. Here goes. My ex ... A: What's done is done. Beating yourself up over it is not making things any better. I believe that ... | |
| Is my boyfriend gay? | 7/31/2008 |
| Q: I am 51 years old and my boyfriend is 50. He has been single for the last 20 years except for a ... A: I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. Work has had me at my wits end and I wanted to be ... | |
| Help | 7/26/2008 |
| Q: In my club alot of the cadets knew i was gay but some how it got out and my cadet leader took me ... A: There is a broad range of expression regarding being gay, just as there is a broad range of ... | |
| rejection and denial | 7/25/2008 |
| Q: I have had an emotional affair for 4 yrs with a good friend. She has flirted and stared at me from ... A: I'm very sorry to hear that this has happened to you. How strange after all that has gone on. ... | |
| i found gay porn on my boyfriends computer | 7/5/2008 |
| Q: i was looking something up on my boyfriends computer and a site poped up with transexuals on it i ... A: Speaking from experience, most men are horndogs and porn is par for the course. The fact that he's ... | |
| makingout with my bff | 6/29/2008 |
| Q: I have always been very attracted to boys. but when it came to kissing them, i really wanted to but ... A: Since you have depression and use cutting as a means of release, do you have a counselor or mental ... | |
| Ex-Girlfriend problems x 2 | 6/19/2008 |
| Q: I need to try and sort my life out or i really don't know what i am going to do or where i am going ... A: The main issue that I see is that your ex ex is not going to affirm anything. She didn't during ... | |
| am i gay if i want ot date a ftm | 6/18/2008 |
| Q: A: It's very hard to answer your question. Orientation goes beyond just attraction and you are at the ... | |
| Can absence of physical attraction change in a relationship | 3/26/2008 |
| Q: I am a gay man in my 40s. A few months ago I met a wonderful guy in his late 20s on an Internet ... A: Morning Ben: Thank you for providing the additional details. I agree with your assessment that the ... | |
| Can absence of physical attraction change in a relationship | 3/24/2008 |
| Q: I am a gay man in my 40s. A few months ago I met a wonderful guy in his late 20s on an Internet ... A: Sorry to hear about your current situation. Let me answer your question, then jump into what I ... | |
| Wanting to get back together with my Ex. | 3/15/2008 |
| Q: I am a 23 year old guy that has been dating a 21 year old guy for the past 6 weeks. I am on a hiatus ... A: LOL, I'm a Virgo as well and . . . um . . . er . . . we are an intense and passionate lot. I think ... | |
| Wanting to get back together with my Ex. | 3/15/2008 |
| Q: I am a 23 year old guy that has been dating a 21 year old guy for the past 6 weeks. I am on a hiatus ... A: I do have an answer for you, but it is an answer to the broader question. The way I see it, ... | |
| gay relationships and love | 2/21/2008 |
| Q: my name is charming, and i have a big issue with a boy. I met this boy in a club and he name is ... A: Based on the information that you provided all I see in the future re: Chris are problems and ... | |
| My Boyfriend | 2/5/2008 |
| Q: I am a 41 year old woman who was married to an abusive man for 18 years and finally got the courage ... A: Congratulations on finally getting out of a bad relationship and having the courage to fall in love. ... | |
| sexless marriage | 1/26/2008 |
| Q: we've been married for 6 years....sex was often during first 1-2 years. now it has diminished ... A: Well if he won't go to counseling, the you have two options. 1. Leave and rebuild your life with ... | |
| Sex. . . | 1/26/2008 |
| Q: I am a 21 year old male and have a fiancee (female) and I want to have sexual relationships with a ... A: It depends on the man. You could post on the internet in one of the gay chatrooms/systems. Or you ... | |
| sexless marriage | 1/26/2008 |
| Q: we've been married for 6 years....sex was often during first 1-2 years. now it has diminished ... A: Your partner is having some serious issues and is in denial about it. Couples counseling or therapy ... | |
| Friend problems | 1/23/2008 |
| Q: I have two friends ones a Bi and the other is a lesbian,now that is not the problem the problem is ... A: You need to nip it in the bud otherwise you will blow. Tell her that you don't appreciate her ... | |
| Gay or not | 1/7/2008 |
| Q: Icannot get an erection with my girlfriend but i can when i watch gay porn am1t4pg i Gay A: Greetings Robert: It takes more than getting hard by watching porm to define yourself as gay. Some ... | |
| Lesbian Relationship | 12/29/2007 |
| Q: I am a 23 year old mother and I date a 26 year old woman. After my husband and I split apart I ... A: I understand your desire for companionship and comfort, but what you have with your current ... | |
| I NEED HELP | 12/28/2007 |
| Q: i am in need of serious help, i am a 16 year old male, about 4 years ago i had gay experiences with ... A: It sounds like the other lad has some firm opinions about who you are and what you should be doing. ... | |
| I think he is skitzophrenic and gay? | 11/27/2007 |
| Q: I met a guy on the internet about 3 years ago. I left him due to alcohol abuse and bad temperment. ... A: You have a very serious situation at home. I'm not so concerned about the possibility of him being ... | |
| She won't talk to me... | 11/22/2007 |
| Q: I'm a lesbian I've been dating my girlfriend for 1yr and 5mo. Lately, Shes been getting mad and ... A: It sounds like you have a complicated situation. Talking on the phone about important things is a ... | |
| Should I tell her how I feel? | 11/6/2007 |
| Q: My ex and I have had our fair share of ups and downs.Break ups.And Absolute disasters.Now we are ... A: From what you've said, the relationship has been on again, off again. Also, now that you are aloof ... | |
| help? | 10/13/2007 |
| Q: I am so confused right now, and i honestly do not know what to think or even how to feel. My ... A: The best thing that you can do is take care of yourself. You can't change or fix things for her. ... | |
| lost fiance and his best friend | 10/12/2007 |
| Q: my name is matt, about 7 months ago I ended a 2 year relationship not because i wasnt in love or ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup. Given the details that you outlined you were right to get ... | |
| relationships | 10/7/2007 |
| Q: I have a great relationship with the woman. We've been going out as friends, we've gotten close and ... A: Here are some websites with tips: http://www.lesbianhealthinfo.org/your_health/coming_out_tips.html ... | |
| relationships | 10/7/2007 |
| Q: I have a great relationship with the woman. We've been going out as friends, we've gotten close and ... A: It's quite possible that your friend has not said anything because she's afraid to lose your ... | |
| Friend might not be straight | 10/5/2007 |
| Q: I am a 26 year old gay man and live with my 22 year old best friend. We are really close and he is ... A: Heya Mike: Thanks for the detailed background. I agree that you can't ask your friend if he's ... | |
| My Wife, soon to be Ex-wife, is having issues with Living a gay life... | 9/14/2007 |
| Q: I am 26 years old and my partner is also 26. We have been friends for over 12 years, have been ... A: It sounds like your wife is going through a little bit of an identity crisis. It may help to have ... | |
| I think my boyfriend is gay or bi. | 8/30/2007 |
| Q: I've been dating this guy for about a year now. Recently I've noticed he has been looking at ... A: I don't know whether he's gay, bi, or simply curious. Thing is, it sounds the what he's doing ... | |
| attracted to men, but not sexually | 8/20/2007 |
| Q: I'm a 60 y.o. man who has always been sexually attracted to women and the idea of sex with men is a ... A: Based on the information that you provided I suspect that, given the lack of sexual attraction, what ... | |
| some thoughts and clarification please | 8/19/2007 |
| Q: ok. I wrote you guys a while ago. I was going through some pretty heavy stuff then. I imagine the ... A: It sounds like you love women, but there are sexual activities that you enjoy with men. It also ... | |
| confused. | 8/12/2007 |
| Q: Alright, I dated boys, but never felt any kind of attraction to them. Although, I've never dated a ... A: You don't need to take on any labels if you don't want to. At the moment you know that the reality ... | |
| was i wrong to give an ultimatum or stand my ground? | 8/12/2007 |
| Q: i had written you before with this topic heading. i thank you for your speedy response. i am moving ... A: Actually, everything would have been fine if your ex could have kept her pants on and her hands to ... | |
| was i wrong to give an ultimatum or stand my ground? | 8/10/2007 |
| Q: i was in a same sex relationship. i am a woman who was dating another woman. i caught her in bed ... A: While it really doesn't matter what I think, I don't believe that you did the wrong thing. You feel ... | |
| gay | 8/9/2007 |
| Q: I am a very happily married man with a great sex life and a very sexy wife. I do not know if I am ... A: You have a touchy situation. You are happily married and bringing this subject up with your wife ... | |
| I think my husband is gay. | 7/29/2007 |
| Q: I have been married for a little more than 5 years to a wonderful man; but I have felt for at least ... A: The stereotypes mean nothing. What is most important is that there are issues with your sexual ... | |
| The Mother In-law (sorta) | 7/16/2007 |
| Q: Ok here is my question, I have been with the same guy for the past 10 months and love him very much, ... A: Ah man, do I feel for you. Been in a similar situation, but not to the point where you are at. I ... | |
| Fall in love with a gay man... | 7/13/2007 |
| Q: I met him 2 weeks ago at the university. He is one of our Professor. We are pretty close to each ... A: There is really no way to tell unless he discloses. The more pressing problem is that all ... | |
| I dont know | 7/8/2007 |
| Q: I am 18 years old.I have had many strange feelings over the last 5 years.I know that i like girls ... A: I don't think that your feelings are strange. In fact there's a world of men who enjoy what you do. ... | |
| Am I Gay? | 7/6/2007 |
| Q: I'm 14 and sort of confused here; I'm not sure about my sexuality. I am sexually attracted to guys, ... A: You are a typical teenager going through puberty. Your hormones are more than likely kicking into ... | |
| Concerns | 6/23/2007 |
| Q: I have been seeing my best friend since January and we really like care so much about each other and ... A: Greetings Chase: I am assuming that your question is how to stop being sexually active with others ... | |
| I found true happiness but need help making sure I can obtain it! | 6/12/2007 |
| Q: Where do I start off? I am a 19 yr old turning 20 next month. I am currently seeing this 20 year old ... A: Greetings Zuly. The best thing that you can do to make her realize just how much you care about her ... | |
| Try out | 5/29/2007 |
| Q: I have been researching the internet and can conclude that I am a bi-curious. I have been ... A: Getting married when you have this desire, but are unsure of whether you want to act on it, could be ... | |
| Try out | 5/28/2007 |
| Q: I have been researching the internet and can conclude that I am a bi-curious. I have been ... A: You have a rather interesting dilemma. It sounds like you the fantasy is taking up more time than ... | |
| Laws of Consent | 5/25/2007 |
| Q: I'm not sure if this is going to be answerable here, but its the only site I've found so far... I'm ... A: Simon: The actual statute is Virginal Code Ann. § 18.2-63 which states: "If any person carnally ... | |
| Laws of Consent | 5/24/2007 |
| Q: I'm not sure if this is going to be answerable here, but its the only site I've found so far... I'm ... A: Greetings Simon: The laws of consent vary from State to State. Some States, like Washington have ... | |
| This is a tough one..... | 5/11/2007 |
| Q: My step-son is a high school student, 18 years old and lives with us part-time. Last week he told ... A: You aren't being a hypocrite. It's one thing to love your step-son and be accepting of his ... | |
| I broke it off with a guy because he has a sugar daddy | 4/23/2007 |
| Q: I am a 37 y.o. gay male who was dating a 28 y.o. gay male. We dated for one month. One morning, I ... A: Greetings Nation: Well, it doesn't really matter what I think. What is most important is that the ... | |
| Suicide | 4/16/2007 |
| Q: How can being gay increase the risk of sucicide A: There is still a stigma associated with being gay in the world at large. The incidence of suicide ... | |
| What to do about my boyfriend? | 3/25/2007 |
| Q: I need advice. I've been dating a guy for four months now; he has issues, says he "doesn't want to ... A: Greetings: Well, it's good that you are working with a therapist. As for playing hard to get, ... | |
| jealousy | 3/20/2007 |
| Q: I have somehow managed to hit a brick wall and feel really silly to feel the way i am and would like ... A: I can be an incredibly jealous person and it's a hard thing to overcome completely. With time I ... | |
| Affairs | 3/20/2007 |
| Q: I have been with my partner for 5 years. 3 Years ago I cheated on her. Regretted it and when she ... A: I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. The hardest thing to do is to rebuild trust, ... | |
| What to do about my boyfriend? | 3/19/2007 |
| Q: I need advice. I've been dating a guy for four months now; he has issues, says he "doesn't want to ... A: You've asked quite a number of questions in the body of the e-mail. I'm going to hit what look like ... | |
| my partner!! | 3/14/2007 |
| Q: my partner is on a chat room thing and talks to gay men... he also is going to a sauna when he tells ... A: Talking and e-mailing do not = gay regardless of the nature of the chat room. If he's lying about ... | |
| Wanting Seth | 2/20/2007 |
| Q: my name is Adam and I am 22 years old and I am gay. I am friends with this guy (lets call him Seth) ... A: Seth may be in the same predicament as you are. Enjoying the flirtation, thinking about taking it ... | |
| Is my friend gay? | 2/13/2007 |
| Q: OK, I'm gay and in high school. I just recently made a new friend. At first he seemed like a ... A: I don't have a clue whether your friend is gay. Being gay or bi is more than what shows you like to ... | |
| plz help me | 2/5/2007 |
| Q: when I am relaxed I am fine and think about girls and everything is as I like it but when Im angry ... A: Greetings Alex: Thanks for the additional info. Freedom of expression (t-shirt, earrings) doesn't ... | |
| plz help me | 2/3/2007 |
| Q: i hate them all so much it scares me and bing gay scared me so ithought it would be better to be ... A: Greetings Alex: If you have concerns over pedophelia, serial killing, or rape, you definitely ... | |
| plz help me | 2/3/2007 |
| Q: when I am relaxed I am fine and think about girls and everything is as I like it but when Im angry ... A: Heya Alex: I'd need more information to be clearer on advice, like what wierd thoughts are making ... | |
| wife - lesbian | 1/17/2007 |
| Q: I am a bit concerned with my wife regarding another woman. She travels for her job and is always ... A: It could be totally innocent. Women have a tendency to make deep connections with their friends in ... | |
| Is my brother gay? | 1/4/2007 |
| Q: It's very clear. What really worried me is that 99% of his movies were men. Only 2 of women. So I ... A: Got it. I still think that you are good. Experimentation is not uncommon and right now you only ... | |
| Is my brother gay? | 1/4/2007 |
| Q: My little brother is 17, almost 18. He has had quite a few behavioural problems in the past, ... A: Fantasy and reality are two completely different things. You can't tell whether someone is gay or ... | |
| Could my wife be lesbian | 11/25/2006 |
| Q: ------------------------------------------- The text above is a follow-up to ... Thank you so much ... A: Clearly I had a far different picture of what has gone on in your marriage. As much as you care for ... | |
| I need adive fast | 11/23/2006 |
| Q: Yes she know's I am a lesbian she is too and she also know that I like her alot. Her cousin told me ... A: Tiara, This is the best news ever. My advice to you is to stop worrying about whether she feels ... | |
| I need adive fast | 11/22/2006 |
| Q: I am a 20 year old lesbian. I have known this female name LaShawn since I was 12 years old and I ... A: Being in love, having a crush, or being obsessed is not a bad thing unless it prevents you from ... | |
| how do i? | 11/14/2006 |
| Q: how do i tell one of my friends that i am a lesbian and that i am going out with one of her sisters ... A: Unfortunately, you have no control over how your friend reacts to your disclosure. You only have ... | |
| please help | 10/17/2006 |
| Q: I'm a 20 year old guy and all my life I've been attracted to girls both physically & sexually but ... A: Getting butterflies and arousal are typically a signs of attraction, but at your age a stiff wind is ... | |
| I'm so gay | 6/22/2006 |
| Q: And to answer your question as to why it hurts so much. I think about the times I questioned her. ... A: I get what you mean now and can see how the situation has served to feed your insecurities. For ... | |
| I'm so gay | 6/22/2006 |
| Q: I have several questions so please don't feel the need to respond back quickly. We will start with ... A: Been there, done that. Although I can say that I learned from my experiences, the fact remains that ... | |
| Should I stay? | 6/16/2006 |
| Q: In response to your questions I came out to my dad, who is my best friend, when I was 19. It was one ... A: That gives me a clearer picture. I could tell from the first e-mail that you were in pain. It ... | |
| Should I stay? | 6/15/2006 |
| Q: I have been in a lesbian relationship with an amazing woman for the last 2 and a half years. We are ... A: Greetings Charlie: I was touched by your question. I can tell that you love her immensely and that ... | |
| Queer support/fundraising | 6/7/2006 |
| Q: We are a near-retirement couple (23 years) who have moved to Fountain City (KNoxville, TN) from ... A: You've managed to hit an area in which I have absolutely no expertise. Surely MCC must have some ... | |
| Queer support/fundraising | 6/7/2006 |
| Q: We are a near-retirement couple (23 years) who have moved to Fountain City (KNoxville, TN) from ... A: You've managed to hit an area in which I have absolutely no expertise. Surely MCC must have some ... | |
| Work Jealousy | 6/2/2006 |
| Q: My girl (S) and I are close to being 2gether for a year. I am worried about this girl (H) that works ... A: Greetings: I'm not one to second guess what you are seeing and have felt. The fact of the matter ... | |
| can gays be brought back | 5/25/2006 |
| Q: i have a friend who is very close to me we both like each other very much.but to our fate we ... A: Namaste Praneeth: I am sorry to say that I am not aware of any cure for gayness, but that is not to ... | |
| hi it's me again | 5/15/2006 |
| Q: well hear me out again, i've got another problem, well some girl was licking my asshole and this ... A: I can't answer re: the "wierd stuff" coming out of your rear. You may want to seek medical ... | |
| am i gay | 5/15/2006 |
| Q: recently i have been thinking about my sexual orientational and have had some things on my mind. My ... A: A number of straight men like having their prostate gland stimulated by their girlfriend while she ... | |
| What's Going on With My boyfriend?Help! | 4/23/2006 |
| Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months and now live together.We get along brilliantly on ... A: Sorry for the delay in the response, but I didn't get your question until today. I don't think that ... | |
| Straight married woman, FTM interest | 2/20/2006 |
| Q: I am a married (5 years), straight woman who recently met a pre-op FTM at a professional seminar. ... A: Greetings: I don't envy your predicament. This sentence says it all: "I don't know if I want to ... | |
| Lost and confused | 12/4/2005 |
| Q: I am and 18 year old male from Ashland, Oregon and I really need your help. I'm lost. completely ... A: I hear your predicament loud and clear and there is no simple solution. I wish that there was. ... | |
| Relationship | 11/7/2005 |
| Q: Michael, In your experience with relathionships which seemed better a monogamous one or ... A: Which form the relationship takes or which is better depends on the people in the relationship. I ... | |
| Relationship | 11/3/2005 |
| Q: I'm 24 years old. This guy and myself dated for 9 months we have been living with each other for the ... A: Every relationship is different. There is no "one" prototype. That being said, among my friends, ... | |
| What shall I do? | 10/30/2005 |
| Q: Michael, disaster comes. Look I thought I was into him, but then today when we were going for a 2nd ... A: Pat: Your situation is very complicated and I cannot tell you what to do. On the one hand you want ... | |
| NEED SOME Quick help | 10/11/2005 |
| Q: Ok. I dont want to make this long because i know you have other questions to answer. So i am in this ... A: First of all, it is normal to develop attachments with someone online. It's easy to share personal ... | |
| When your trying to hook up with someone? | 9/30/2005 |
| Q: How do you get someone to like you if they don't? And if your not talking to the person you like and ... A: Greetings: You've asked a whole host of questions which simply do not have simple answers. I will ... | |
| my wife thinks I'm gay | 9/8/2005 |
| Q: To make a long story short: -Wife cheated on me with a good friend -I was more turned on by it than ... A: I don't think you are gay. You are still attracted to your wife and at this time are in a fantasy ... | |
| nipple | 8/28/2005 |
| Q: how i can enlargement my nipple ? A: There are a variety of options available for men. I'm not sure if they will work on women's nipples ... | |
| Signs of trouble | 8/4/2005 |
| Q: I just started a relationship with this great guy three weeks ago. He has already told me that he ... A: You have a delicate situation, but all is not lost. I did a search on the internet and found the ... | |
| Husband not interested in sex | 7/2/2005 |
| Q: Where do I begin, I am 31, married 13 years, 3 kids, house, the usual stuff. On our second date, ... A: I'm sorry about your situation. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. The fact of the matter ... | |
| Cheating or not Cheating? | 5/25/2005 |
| Q: My partner and I have been together a little shy of two years. I have a few questions I would like ... A: It's a bit complex. With respect to "once a cheater always a cheater" mmmm . . . depends on the ... | |
| Is it worth it,Big Dilemma | 5/12/2005 |
| Q: I am a 21 year old single black female with no children,who has recently broken up with my boyfriend ... A: Sorry to have been unclear. By financial hanky panky, I meant that once you are living with them ... | |
| Is it worth it,Big Dilemma | 5/6/2005 |
| Q: I am a 21 year old single black female with no children,who has recently broken up with my boyfriend ... A: I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. I did not get your original e-mail and received a ... | |
| i believe im a lesbian but am scared | 4/9/2005 |
| Q: I have liked girls ever since i can remember but i always hid it and pretended i liked boys i ... A: I apologize for not responding sooner, but I did not receive the initial e-mail from you. I just ... | |
| Help I made mistake and hurt the one I love..but how much more should I pay? | 2/25/2005 |
| Q: During those two years I DID IT ALL. To see what I liked and what I did not like. ( some called me ... A: Your question arrived when I was in India and I was not able to answer during my absence. I just ... | |
| VAGINAL TASTE | 12/19/2004 |
| Q: ...! This is PAUL again.Am extremely thankful to you for your kind response.....It really helps. ... A: I think that the easiest way for me to explain this to you is as follows: If you have 10 different ... | |
| VAGINAL TASTE | 12/12/2004 |
| Q: ....! My name is PAUL.Am a 23 yr old boy wanting to know more about female sexuality.Let me tell ... A: I simply don't have the answers to all of your questions. Here's what I do know - hygiene plays a ... | |
| Is it true that the Gay and... | 10/22/2004 |
| Q: Is it true that the Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade kicked NAMBLA out (of participation) many years ... A: I can't answer your question. There is no one Gay & Lesbian Pride Parade. Each city hosts its own ... | |
| adoption by lesbian and homosexual | 8/8/2004 |
| Q: my name is keren, I am 24,a Law student. Nowdays I'm doing a compartive research on the subject ... A: Greetings Keren: I'd recommend that you run a lexis/nexis search to determine the laws of each ... | |
| Relationships | 4/2/2004 |
| Q: I have a question about relationships or the problem i am having. I have been going out with this ... A: You have a rather difficult situation ahead. If you are completely honest that weight is the issue, ... | |
| Mum won't accept that I'm gay | 3/28/2004 |
| Q: I am a lesbian and I've been living with my girlfriend for nearly five years. We are very much in ... A: It sounds like your mum just isn't ready to deal with these things. All you can do is be patient. ... | |
| gay friend | 1/23/2003 |
| Q: my friend says that he is gay and well i dont' really know what to do b/c he is always touching me ... A: The situation is more complicated than it initially seems. Sexual orientation is not as cut and ... | |
| rape | 12/22/2002 |
| Q: Michael, I was raped as a 5 year old child by a cousin. I have never lived a gay lifestyle and do ... A: I am saddened and disturbed by the rape which you mentioned. I'm very sorry that this happened to ... | |
| Is there a male equivalent to the word "lesbian"? | 9/6/2002 |
| Q: While "lesbian" is the common one-word term for "gay woman", there doesn't seem to be an ... A: Actually, not so long ago (mid 80's) the term "gay" referred only to men. The women were always ... | |
| Attraction | 3/22/2002 |
| Q: My problem concerns a professor of mine that I have been obsessing over. I am very attracted to her ... A: I am sorry to hear about your dillema. The fact that you are attracted to someone else does not ... | |
| same-sex marriage | 1/30/2002 |
| Q: I'm doing a little research, and was wondering WHERE same-sex marriages were legal. If so, is there ... A: Nowhere in the US that I am aware of. I know that according to the Hawaii constitution, the state ... | |
| Please Help If you Can!!!!! | 1/7/2002 |
| Q: " Hi my name is Steven and i am 24 yrs old and i am Gay... I am just about at my last resort and ... A: Greetings Steven: You have your entire life ahead of you as 24 is rather young. It's very easy to ... | |
Gay/Lesbian Issues
Answers by Expert:
Michael Hernandez
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I can answer questions regarding gender issues having lived as both lesbian and gay. I can also address relationship questions being in a 14 year polyamorous relationship.
Experience
I am a trans (Female to Male) and have been in that community for the past 17 years and have presented in College/University classes as well as maintaining a website with links and information regarding gender issues [http://www.otherbear.com]
Organizations belong to
National Writer's Union, FTM Alliance of Los Angeles, Inc.
Publications
I've written articles for gender publications and have contributions in Bears on Bears by Ron Suresha (Los Angeles: Alyson Publications, 2002), Academy: Tales of the Market Place by Laura Antoniou (New York: Mystic Rose Books, 2000), "I Am Neither Man Nor Woman" Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue, ed. Leslie Feinberg (Boston: Beacon Press, 1998), "Holding My Breath Under Water" Looking Queer , ed. Dawn Atkins (Hayworth Press, 1998), "Boundaries: Gender and Transgenderism," The Second Coming , eds. Pat(rick) Califia and Robin Sweeney (San Francisco: Alyson Publications, 1996), and "Packing, Passing & Pissing," Dagger , eds. Lily Burana, Roxxie, and Linnea Due (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 1994). Appearance in Transmen & FTMS: Identities, Bodies, Genders & Sexualities by Jason Cromwell (University of Illinois Press, 1999), etc.
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