AboutJim Swanson Expertise I have often helped gays in their challenge to understand what it means to come out and how best to start down that road. I have and also helped gays to reconcile the often difficult struggle of being gay and being a Christian. I now understand one of God's truths more clearly: Our pain is not wasted when we can reach around and comfort another coming along behind us on the same path.
Experience I too had to deal with these issues when I finally accepted who I was and started down my own path to come out. It is difficult to imagine now how much I have changed and how much I have learned as I traveled this most curious journey. For many years, I have hosted a website to address this issue and to help others.
Expert: Jim Swanson Date: 5/8/2008 Subject: DAMN!!!!!!!!!!
Question ok so i have been obsessed with this one guy since i moved here and i always thought that he might lean toward the other side (gay side) cuz all his friends admit that he could get any girl he wanted yet he never makes a move. so all this time i had had some hope that maybe we could get together and now one of my best girl friends slipped him the toungue and she did it in front of me. I WAS DESTROYED! so my question is what can i do to deal with it? cuz every time i see him now the only thing i can think is how much it sucks that i cant even tell him how i feel (cuz i havent told anyone)"
Answer Tobi,
I can imagine your frustration and confusion about what to do. However, you also realize that one kiss does not really mean anything. For one thing, there are plenty of guys that play it both ways or even play it 'straight' so no one will suspect that they are gay. In your case, you really do not know if your friend is gay or straight or somewhere in the middle. After all, we are all somewhere between 100% gay to 100% straight.
As for dealing with it, you will need to decide to move on and find someone else or continue to pursue your interest in your friend and find a way to know him better and get him to talk about his feelings. He might be willing to do that, or he might be afraid to confide in you. After all, you too seem to be worried about sharing you interest and maybe even sharing with others the fact that you are gay. It's really up to you.
You know, you will get over this and in time, you will find others with whom you can have a relationship with.
I hope you find the love you are looking for... Jim
