AboutGary Expertise I can answer questions about coming out as well as dealing with family members who are (and are not) supportive. I can also answer questions about gay marriage.
Experience I have worked closely with Mass Equality to fight for the right for people of all genders and lifestyles to get married.
Education/Credentials BA- English-Sociology-Psychology
I year - New England School of Law
Expert: Gary Date: 6/19/2008 Subject: Potentially Unsafe Sex
Question I have an ethical dilemma. If I find out that a very good friend’s partner may be having unprotected sex outside their relationship, what do I do? Do I tell my friend about it? Do I talk to his partner? Do I mind my own business?
Answer John,
I will assume here that your friend does not know his partner is even having sex outside of the relationship. You also say his partner 'may' be having unprotected sex outside the relationship so I will also assume you are not 100% sure at this point.
It can be very dangerous to get involved in a friend's relationship especially if you are not sure that something is going on. If you say something and you end up being wrong about it you may put your friendship in jeopardy.
If you tell his partner about your suspicions and they are wrong the result could be the same.
If you are 100% sure he is having unprotected sex outside the relationship then it becomes a serious health risk to your friend.
In this situation you should let your friend know you care about him and are concerned for his safety. He may get angry with you or confront his partner and all this may cause a problem in your friendship, but saving a life may be more important than saving a friendship. In the end, if your suspicions prove true, he will appreciate you for stepping in to help and realize how good of a friend you truly are to him.
