AboutKade Williams Expertise I can help with any questions that you have about coming out, dealing with those around you, dealing with fantasises that you may have, dating and anything else that you may have trouble with or that are concerned about your sexuality so just ask away and I will help in the best way I can.
Experience Being gay myself and having experienced all issues about being gay and dealing with those around me.
Education/Credentials Post Graduate in Communications
Expert: Kade Williams Date: 6/18/2008 Subject: Some advice on how to handle my best friend...
Question Hey Kade,
Thanks for taking the time to read this. My issue deals with me and my best friend. I am a 23 y/o bi-male. Over the past few months I have become attracted to my best friend of about a year and a half. We have grown really close to eachother and are super comfortable around eachother. I have some inklings though that he is also bi (I know he definitely likes women, but I suspect men as well) I was hoping for someone to give me some advice on how to handle this situation. I am certainly biased in my hope that he is bi and interested in me, but it is 100x more important that I keep my best friend and not do anything to screw it up.
So to give some background on why I feel this way... We definitely talk alot, even when we arent close to eachother. We talk on the phone for sometimes well over an hour. Also, we often give eachother massages which I feel are somewhat erotic. My friend, Matt, is a really good masseuse and gives many people massages (though never as in depth as what he will give me). I also return the favor by giving him massages. That is something that distinguishes me from the others... that he only gets massages from me. Typically they are sitting, but sometimes laying down. We do back, shoulders, arms, hands, scalp etc. He always seems receptive of a "little more" during a massage. At least thats whats I think. I want to next time offer to massage his feet and legs and stuff, but I'm not sure how he would react.
Often times, we will be joking around, or I will joke with him about something gay. It is a joke, of course, but I also carry a bit of sincerity with it. If I make a joke that is gay, sometimes he laughs and plays along and other times he will be all "wow you are so homo" or "dude thats too homo"... its like sometimes its ok, sometimes its not. I'm having alot of difficulty feeling him out.
He also does not know that I am bi.
Do you have any advice on things I could perhaps do/suggest to him that will tell me some more information? Matt is always on the surface very manly and stuff. He talks about girls alot too. However I still suspect there is more. I get turned on by some of the things we do... could he really just like a massage and there not be anything more?
A closing remark, the other night we gave massages on the couch and fell asleep after... I basically slept on his shoulder and later his chest. He leaned his head on my head too and we were asleep for a solid 2-3 hours I would say. I cant understand how that would be OK if he wasnt bi....
HELP!! haha
Answer Hi Mark,
It seems that he may very well be bi-sexual but also a very good chance that he just merely enjoys your company and ha feels he can act like what ever he wants around you because he values you in that way.
Although he may be bi-sexual don't going jumping to conclusions you could end up destroying the relationship.
If you think that he is then ask him, not straight out but more as a joke and if he is nervous or anxious in some way let him know that you are there for hiom if he needs someone.
