Aboutlucy Expertise I can answer any questions on relationships,age differences in relationships, sex, coming out ect. I can also give advice to parents who's son or daughter is gay as my son is gay so i have experience in that area.
Experience My son is gay and i have supported through many issues such as when he came out to family members and i have had to deal with him seeing an older man and i also have many gay friends.
Education/Credentials A levels - English, Art and History
Question I am a 20 yr old gay male. I currently attend a small college in Minnesota, USA, surrounded by a nice group of friends. But I still hunger for connection; I am lonely. I have never been in, or been close to being in, a relationship. I spent my teen years in a conservative town in Texas, so even when I finally did come out, my dating pool was highly limited... as in, 2 other guys, whom I had no interest in.
Here at college, the gay population is somewhat larger and there is very little homophobia, but I still haven't met anyone I am interested in. And for those few that I find myself slightly interested in, they are not interested in me. I don't think the problem is that I'm too ugly/mean/dumb; I can be all of those things at some point (I am human), but my friends and acquaintances agree that I am none of them. I think part of it is that I am not a very typical gay man, so I never find any similar interests with other gay men. I'm a political science major, not a theatre major. I'm inn a fraternity, but I'm not a jock or play sports. I have some interest in fashion, but I'm not materialistic or (that) high maintenence. But I don't think that's the whole problem.
I'm lonely. I don't know how to meet more gay men or how to find someone I am interested in. I've tried going to the club once or twice and it's fun, but I never find any real relationship-type guys, nor do I really meet anyone at the club... I'm too shy. Online dating searches haven't really turned up anything either. I spent six years in hell in Texas knowing that when I went to college, I would find some kind of salvation. But I only feel as if I'm stuck in purgatory now... People have told me "You're young, you have plenty of time." It's true in some sense, yes, but I am in the prime of my life and while I am starving for intimacy, I watch my peers enjoy their own relationships with significant others. I'm jealous. I mean, I'm not asking to find my life partner tomorrow, I just want a DATE! I haven't even had one of those yet.
I don't know what to do any more. I don't know what the problem is, what is wrong, or how to change it.
Answer Hi Nick
I understand your frustration and I feel for you.
If you go to clubs all you are likely to find is men looking for sex it is unlikely that you would find a date. You said you've been on online dating sites but haven't found anything. You should try these if you haven't already: myspace.com, facebook.com, gay-PARSHIP.co.uk, mancentral.com,datingdirect.com and gaydar.co.uk
You may find someone on one of these but if you are going to meet someone then always be careful,but i'm sure you know that already. Also the only other thing I can suggest is joining a club or group in your community, look in the local paper, you could meet someone there.
