AboutJim Swanson Expertise I have often helped gays in their challenge to understand what it means to come out and how best to start down that road. I have and also helped gays to reconcile the often difficult struggle of being gay and being a Christian. I now understand one of God's truths more clearly: Our pain is not wasted when we can reach around and comfort another coming along behind us on the same path.
Experience I too had to deal with these issues when I finally accepted who I was and started down my own path to come out. It is difficult to imagine now how much I have changed and how much I have learned as I traveled this most curious journey. For many years, I have hosted a website to address this issue and to help others.
Expert: Jim Swanson Date: 7/15/2008 Subject: Should I and what is he doin
Question QUESTION: hi I have a friend that I think is kinda attracted to me. For example everytime Im at his house he always follows me around wit his eyes and when our eyes meet he smiles. And I think he flirts becuase he aways hits me and trys to pass love licks to me. He once punch me in my private and laghed. Thats not it as well as he once had a toy that looked like a penius and another that was a person and held the toy near his penius and made the toy u no what to the other toy suckt he penius resembling toy and said that wuz me. As well as he calls me gay alot and when I the same he just smiles. When we wrestle in my bed he always wrapes his legs around mine and tries to get my arm or his around me or him. And puts his butt againt my penius. And once he said kiss him with the most serious face I ever seen and waited for and answer when I walked off he said he wuz just playin and he always sits on my penius everytime he comes near me and to be honest I really kinda like it and I do want to have sex wit him but I think he just be playin wit me he has a sexy butt though. And when I accidently touch his but when we watchin a movie he slaped my hand and always wants me to go to the park wit him even though he goes all the time by himself or little brother. I wrote him a note but he has not read it yet how should I approach him pleas
ANSWER: Hi James,
Well, from what you have told me, he is either gay of curious, or at least he likes you a lot. I guess I would say, don't worry about labels and just go where your heart leads you. If he likes you and you like him, I think you both need to start talking about it and stop worrying.
I suspect from what you have told be that he is hoping that you may make a move. Depending on your age, I guess, I would think it is time for you to also make a move or at least respond to his.
You really have nothing to lose and so much to gain.
I hope this helps... Jim
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QUESTION: As well as when I was talkin to my friend who is a girl like a sister he always gets mad but doesn't show and when i let him taalk to her he hangs up on her an laughs bout it then asks me r u mad at me and when I on the phone he always then invites his friend ova to his house and tries to ignore me and when he friend leaves he asks me r u mad at me sounds like he tryin to make me jealous , and you think when he had his legs wrapped around mine and his little brother was jumpin on us and we were facin each other and holdin on to each other and he looked at me think I should have looked bck and kissed him?How do I get him to spend the night at my house. And how do I give him the notes that I wrote. He put his head on my shoulder and always hits me then says u hit me u gay.How do I approach him I think I do like him.
Answer James,
As I said in my previous reply, I really think it is time that you and your friend just talk. Be open and honest with your feelings and your questions about how your friend is acting. You are spending too much time trying to decode things that he is doing that you think are signals. Just start talking. What do you have to lose?
