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Gay Life - Unwelcome house guest
Expert: Kade Williams - 10/31/2009
Question
Hi, I've been living together with my boyfriend for 4months now. We've been together for over a year but for 6months our relationship was long distance. During that time, he became very good friends with this girl who out of all of the friends he had, I never really liked.
Anyway, about a week ago, my boyfriend received a phone call from this friend saying that she was moving down to the city we live in and my boyfriend was really excited to have his friend coming down here. 2 days later at 8am, we get a knock on our front door. I answer it and its his friend with ALL of her belongings. She prompty hugs me then says "Hi, can I stay here for a bit?" I was so shocked all I could say back was "um, sure". Next thing shes draggin in all her stuff with the help of 2 guys into our spare room.
Now because my boyfriend and I work completely different hours, I didn't get a chance to talk to him about this until about 11pm that night. I was furious that she had showed up unannounced and really wanted to set an end date on her visit. My boyfriend couldn't understand why I was so upset. "sure, she prob should have called, but she's here now, so who cares if she stays a week or two" was basically his opinion. I felt like I was being made out to be this bad guy when in my opinion I was justified to be annoyed.
When asked by my boyfriend how long she was planning on staying she said "not for long". That's not an answer in my opinion. What I want to do is tell her she is welcome to stay for 2 weeks in the room but after that she will have to find somewhere else. Do you think I am being unreasonable in saying that? To be honest I've been more hurt by my boyfriend's reaction towards me than what this girl has done. How should I deal with this problem from here? I don't want this girl to come between my boyfriend and I and he is already thinking that my reaction is more to do with me being jealous as his attention not being with me as much but I swear that is not it. I'm just a traditional guy and to me, she is way out of line.
Answer
Hi Josh,
Sorry I have not responded sooner, I have been out-of-state,
You are in no way, out of line. She should have given you warning about it, not just showed up at your front door.
Tell him that she has 2 weeks, that is a fair time limit. It is your house not hers and she cannot treat you like she is, it is part of your home.
Talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him that you feel 2 weeks is long enough, and that you are not jealous but frustrated by her behavior in this situation.
Tell him how you are feeling about her and that this, surprise visit, is uncalled for.
Good Luck and Best Wishes,
Kade
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