| |
You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay Life > Gay Life > open relation and cheating
Gay Life - open relation and cheating
Expert: Gary - 10/9/2009
Question
Dear Gary
I've been in a long distance relationship for almost a year, we love each other but a week ago my partner asked me how i feel if we can be in an open relation he love me he wants no one but me, but duno why he said that, after saying no to it and discussing things I felt this relation is about to end, but told him will think about it because he was persisting.
went out after few days to a pub with friends after few drinks sent him an SMS saying that i wont compromise, but one of the people that was with us escorted me home and then he asked me if he can come up to make sure am ok,and we ended up in bed.
My partner again called me saying that he dont know what he was thinking and he want nothing to change he want things to be like it used to be, I did'nt tell him YET, but I feel horrible I feel like I cheated and I didn't want to do it, I dont want to loose him, and I am being tortured by my conscious.
Should I tell him or just try to forget that these few days happened.
Thank you.
Answer
I believe honesty is the best policy. Explain to him what happened and let him know you feel terrible and made a mistake. He may be upset and mad but a relationship based on secrets and lies will never work out in the end.
It seems like what he asked of you (which you didn't approve of) is what you ended up doing to him in return. You need to be fair and let him know that.
Perhaps you need to both discuss the long-term plan for your relationship. If situations like this are happening you may want to explore how much you both want to be in a committed relationship and if you are both ready for that or not. The distance may be a major factor and something you want to change to be closer to each other or maybe you need to see other people and move on.
If you love each other you should be willing to do anything (including moving) to make it work.
Good Luck.
Add to this Answer Ask a Question
|
|
