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About Tedd Adams
Expertise
I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.

Experience
I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above.

Publications
Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano

Education/Credentials
Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay Life > Gay Life > I've been in love with my bff for 3 years

Gay Life - I've been in love with my bff for 3 years

Expert: Tedd Adams - 10/18/2009

Question
QUESTION: In 2007 i moved into this new house with my mum, i met these 2 girls bell and skye, the first time i saw bell i started to have a crush on her. And i still do, i'm starting to think im in love with her, she doesnt want a boyfriend, but are the following signs that she could feel the same about me? she looks me in the eyes for along time, whenever i say something bad about myself she will say the exact oppisate, shes exteremly nice to me, but shes not like that with her other friends, and when i could'nt ride a ripstik she goes" do you want me to hold your hand and pull you?" and its the way she said it and the way she acts that makes me think she may feel the same way about me. Im 13 and bell is 11, i moved 2hrs away last december but i still see her often. Is there a chance that she has a crush on me to?? and are these things shes doing are they hints?? i dont know what to do please help, and i feel so bad about it coz shes the same gender as me

ANSWER: Hey Chana

It's certainly possible that she has a crush on you also, but from the limited amount of information you've provided, it's really not enough to determine conclusively exactly what she is thinking. And that may be the best information you have to go on. Unfortunately, other peoples' emotions and motives are not always very clear. This is especially true for someone as young as 11.

Which makes for another matter altogether. I know to you it seems that 2 years age difference is probably not that much, but there is actually a big difference between someone who is 13 and someone who is 11, in terms of emotional maturity and sexuality. I would recommend avoiding any pursuit of this relationship as anything more than just a friendship, at least for the time being. Perhaps time will make things more certain and that time will also allow Bell to mature a bit as well, and then she may be ready for the kind of relationship you are interested in.

Tedd

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thankyou very much for your answer, i have some more info that might make it easier for you to determine if she likes me the same way. When me and bell talk i feel a strong connection with her, and for some reason it feels like shes got the same feeling as i do,i dont know why tho, i know shes young for her age also, but shes very mature for her age. Everytime she looks me in the eyes she does it differently then just looking someone in the eyes, she does it as if she like liked me, i hope this helps, i just wish i knew how she felt, or if the things she doing are signs, do you think there're signs shes giving me?

Answer
Hi Chana

I still think you are seeing what you want to see, and more likely, Bell looks up to you and admires you as a role model and mentor. I stick with my original advice, that she is too young for you to seriously consider pursuing the kind of relationship you are looking for.

Tedd

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