AboutGary Expertise I can answer questions about coming out as well as dealing with family members who are (and are not) supportive. I can also answer questions about gay marriage.
Experience I have worked closely with Mass Equality to fight for the right for people of all genders and lifestyles to get married.
Education/Credentials BA- English-Sociology-Psychology
I year - New England School of Law
Question Hey everyone. My name's Lenin. I'm 14 years old, and I've been struggling
with something for quite a long time now-I can't seem to tell if I'm gay,
straight, or anything in between.
The trouble is, I've never really been attracted to anyone thus far. I see both
men and women in my school hallways, and I do note those who are good
looking, but I don't orgasm over anyone---pardon my phrasing. I also tend
to notice beautiful women more so than decent looking young men.
I heard recently that one of my best friends, who is gay, liked me. I didn't
have the heart to just let that go, so I asked him out and, we are currently
dating. He's pretty enough, but, like I said before, he doesn't titillate me.
Please don't accuse me of leading him on or anything, I mean, I like the guy
very much, but I see him as a friend more so than a mate. Our relationship
feels awkward, but I'm not sure if that's because we started out as friends, or
because I'm just not "into dudes."
Still I'm rather concerned--- everyone around me already understands their
sexuality, and I'm the one that just hasn't gotten it figured out yet. I was
discussing this with my friend the other day and she was like "JUST PICK ONE
DAMN IT!" And to that I responded: "I don't feel like this is something I can
just decide." Honestly, could you imagine: Okay, ready guys? Heads for
straight, Tails for gay-- go! But oh the trouble that would save...
She told me that whether someone is gay straight pan or bi should be an
"instinctual, unconscious decision." With that, I agree, however, my 'instinct'
must be broken because I cant determine what I am at all.
Here's what I do know:
1. I've never dated a girl.
2. I've never had the desire to date either a guy or girl.
3. I'm currently in a relationship with a boy.
4. I cannot see myself marrying a man, or being intimate with a man.
5. I could imagine my "perfect woman," and I could see myself marrying a
woman, but I can't see myself being intimate with a woman.
6. I notice attractive women more easily than attractive men.
7. I notice unattractive women more easily than unattractive men.
8. I admire, and sometimes am jealous of attractive men.
9. I shudder at the thought of being penetrated. Dx
10. I've been looking up images of male and female models, and nothing
goes through my head with either one.
I'm very confused at the moment. Please, based on the information you have
here, would you say I'm gay or straight?
Answer It is difficult to answer this question because I am not sure if you are a girl or a boy?
You may want to seek counseling because you may have greater identity problems than just your sexuality. This may be something you want to explore more closely so you can determine where you fit in and feel most comfortable.
You may be bi-sexual and that could be what is causing the confusion.
