About Tedd Adams Expertise I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.
Experience I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above.
Publications Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano
Education/Credentials Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs. and both 22 yrs.
old. I have came out of 3 previous relationships in which I have been
cheated on. We tried drugs and also in the first year decided a 3 some
and also made sure we were safe about it. I tried them in the past and
they are fun but in a relationship it can cause jealousy and not my
priority. But ever since this he has been always wanting to do drugs and
after he said no more 3 somes he is always wanting to do them. I felt as if
was like an open door that he thinks its alright. I know he has a past of
doing all these drugs and even admitted to me that he likes them. It
scared me.
Moving forth, my friend throws camp outs and when I was socializing my
friend brought to my attention that my boyfriend wanted me and I
walked into a tent where my boyfriend was having sex with another guy.
The 2nd time was my birthday and he was making out with another guy
and after I tried to forget it and got to my friends after party my
boyfriend said he needed to answer a call and 20 mins. later when I went
to go check on him he wasn't there so I called him and no answer. An
hour of all this I got a call back and he "supposably" passed out in his car
in front of the guy's apt he made out with at the club. Now the 3rd time
we have a new bi guy who moved into our apt complex. He said he was
bi and all of sudden my boyfriend was sexually interested and kept asking
for a 3 some. I tried avoiding the subject of the matter. The next morning
he came over and wanted to go to the tobacco store and asked if we
wanted to go. I said I would stay home but he needed to grab money in
his apt and the 2 ran upstairs. I found it odd it was 20 mins and saw the
cars still there. When I came back in they walked past our apt. It hurt me
but I figured I would communicate and asked the reason later. When
brought up my boyfriend ignored me. I stay calm but my trust issues
with him were wondering around in my head. When asked again he said
we made out and I don't want to be with you anymore. After arguing he
then said I love you and I thought it was fixed. The 2 were drunk and
passed out in OUR bed cuddling. I asked this guy later what exactly
happened and he said your boyfriend gave a me a blow job but he didn't
get off to my boyfriend. I later talked to my boyfriend and every one
these happened he always says he was drunk or really messed up. When
we argue he says also why do you bring up that I cheated on you or I
over exaggerate problems. Even that he feels bad that he has cheated on
me.
I have tried communicating to help while being calm and let him know
how I feel. I don't feel there should be any excuse to cheat on someone.
Also if he felt bad in any kind about doing so then why has occurred 2
more times. Also he has been blowing my money such as 2 days ago
behind my back while talking to friends he closed my bar tab and took
my money to buy coke and lied about it and was doing it and previously
in that day bought a $100 bottle of vodka. His friends thinks this is funny
when we fight. This is a blow to my self esteem as to mention when he
says I can do with losing some weight or buff up. I weigh 132 lbs. at 5'8. I
love him but I feel when I do communicate he is ignoring my feelings and
keeping me around for the ride and he says this his 1st relationship that's
serious but obviously mine to out the ones I have had. I feel stupid
keeping him around and my friends think so to but I contradict myself
because part of me keeps thinking we can work it out. I have a great job
in which I am successful at, great friends, am a great friend, and
attractive but this is one major problem I do need help with and
keypoints to fix this relationship before I give up on it. Help!
Drew
Answer Drew
Please do me a favor and go back and read the email you sent me. Now ask yourself, if a friend of yours told you this same story, what would be your advice? I don't even know you guys and perhaps that's why I can give such objective advice, so I'm going to be blunt.
Drew, why are you even attempting to make this work?!? This is a disaster and you know it. Your "boyfriend" is manipulating you and treating you like a fool and you're letting him do it. You're well aware of what's going on, because you're describing it in painful detail, yet for some reason you seem to think there is some redeeming quality about him that might make it worth it. There's not. Whenever it feels that way, it just means he's laying on the charm that much thicker, but it's all for his own selfish benefit, not yours. He clearly has no respect for you. He's just in it for the ride. It's time to bring this mess to an end, and the sooner the better. Go find someone worthy of your attention and efforts.
