AboutAdriaan Pretorius Expertise Any questions on how to come out, handling people close to you, handling the pressures of being gay in society, going out, seeking a partner, etc. are welcome. I live in South Africa and may have a unique perspective on gay live, as gays do not live openly and have been scorned for a long time here. If you need to speak to someone, and no one wants to listen, I will try my best to be a friend when you have none.
Experience I am a gay male who have lived the life as someone that had to hide it from everyone for a long time until coming out some years back. I know how it feels to be 'in' and 'out' and have had diverse experiences in relationships. I have had friends who hated gay life, gay bashers, friends who understood me.
Education/Credentials I have a postgraduate degree in Science. I have worked together with and currently work with homosexual and heterosexuals in my environment.
Question My best friend called me into work because she said she had something very important to tell me about the guy she was seeing. When I got there she handed me a phone and told me to read it. The phone was left in her car by this guy and he told her that she could go through it if she wanted to . Curiosity got the best of her and she eventually read the text messages. Matt* said he felt really connected when they kissed the other night and Jesse* asked if he would ever do anything like that again. Then Jesse asked what kind of stuff matt would be interested in doing. matt said that he would be interested in doing more things but not with anyone but him... I have no problem with my friend being gay but should I say something to let him know that I think its okay? Should I even let him know that I suspect it?
Answer Hey Katy
You can't really tell him WHY you know he might be gay, but you can show him you don't mind. By this, I mean, you can maybe slowly work it into the conversation, for instance, when you two are out for a coffee or beer, point out a hot guy and tell ask him what he thinks. Things like that, you know? To show him you are just a friend and don't mind either way. He will soon enough get the message of what you mean. I might be more concerned about your female friend though, her boyfriend not being faithful?
Matt might just be testing the waters, checking out how the other side lives :-) He might not even be gay, but sometimes we just have to understand both sides before we settle for one.
