About Tedd Adams Expertise I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.
Experience I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above.
Publications Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano
Education/Credentials Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).
Question Hey Tedd I have OCD and I currently sexually identify as
queer please listen to what I have written and tell me if
this sounds to you like I have HOCD or I am really gay or
bisexual...
Instead of wondering if I might be gay I often wonder if I
might be straight...
Have I been sexually attracted to women? I dunno... I've
never really actively sought a relationship with a female. I
feel like most of the girls I had "crushes" on I really only
said I liked them so that my friends and parents would think
i was normal. I think the first time I kissed a boy (now my
best friend) on the playground was a much more special
moment than the first time i kissed a girl...which i guess
was in highschool. The most I've ever done with a girl is
made out and fooled around a little, but when i started
having a weird anxiety attack and we didn't end up having
sex. Altho I did enjoy snuggling with her :) but even in
that situation It wasn't me who went after her but it was
her that went after me.
After this weird encounter I met a guy and we went on a date
and saw each other for a few months. We had sex in this case
we actually had sex, the first time we hooked up it was
great. but often times both of us wanted to be the bottom
which was weird (also often times we were very drunk and or
high which often makes for unpredictability in bed... I get
mad paranoid when I am high)...Also having this being my
first real sexual relationship it did feel a bit awkward...
I used to look at straight porn but I feel as tho often
times i was focusing on the man and the penis rather than
the female. I do find females very attractive but i don't
know if its just that i am attracted to the aesthetics of
the female. I like the female figure it gorgeous but It is
not really sexually pleasing to me. I look away when I see a
naked woman nowadays or imagine something else... I also
have mild OCD which makes my bi-gay question awfully
confusing... I still feel somewhat attracted to females...
But throughtout my life I can remember looking at boys in
locker rooms or showers and looking at their penis.
Answer Hi Charles
One of the odd things about OCD is that it makes people question what should be obvious, and it can manifest itself in many different ways. For example, my mom has OCD when it comes to locked doors. She will check a door to make sure it's locked, but then not even 5 minutes later, has to check the same door. Rationally she knows it's locked, because she just checked it, but she can't help but wondering. To anyone else, it would seem obvious that the door is locked, but to the OCD mind, there is lingering doubt or anxiety until it is checked again.
When it manifests itself in regard to sexual orientation, what seems obvious to anyone else is still something that you question. From what you've described to me, yes, you're gay. Even though you may find some women attractive, it's clearly not what excites you. Men do. I've gotten plenty of emails on this subject, but always in reverse... people (guys usually) who obsess with worries that they might be gay, but have never been attracted to men, have never had any sexual contact with men, and are very attracted to women. But with OCD, the more you think about the topic of your obsession, the more you think there MUST be some reason you're always thinking about it.
The good news is that there are now some medications and cognitive-behavioral therapies now that are very effective in treating OCD. I would at least explore those options.
