AboutAdriaan Pretorius Expertise Any questions on how to come out, handling people close to you, handling the pressures of being gay in society, going out, seeking a partner, etc. are welcome. I live in South Africa and may have a unique perspective on gay live, as gays do not live openly and have been scorned for a long time here. If you need to speak to someone, and no one wants to listen, I will try my best to be a friend when you have none.
Experience I am a gay male who have lived the life as someone that had to hide it from everyone for a long time until coming out some years back. I know how it feels to be 'in' and 'out' and have had diverse experiences in relationships. I have had friends who hated gay life, gay bashers, friends who understood me.
Education/Credentials I have a postgraduate degree in Science. I have worked together with and currently work with homosexual and heterosexuals in my environment.
Remember when i first told you about the problem and how he stared at me sometimes and other things. do you think thats enough evidence to know if he likes me. because i dont want to make a fool of my self. and if i do LOVE this guy like you said and i know see that i do, i wold like to know. its just so confusing when you dont know if he likes you and hard not to mention when he acts like your not there. i accept that im bi am not ashamed or embarssed it acually feels nice, but im not at that stage when im ment to be coming out. this guy means alot to me and feels i thought i would never have have come, I know that may seem corny but not knowing is eating me up inside. and I just dont know if i can bring myself to ask him to put him in that situation.
Thanks for helping, and if you get back to me ASAP
From Max
Answer Dear Max
If he is as sincere as you tell me, if he acts as good as you tell me he does, if he is as kind and considerate, then you should tell him. You need to, because if you keep it inside you will just explode emotionally after a while and then you might lose your friend and any chance of finding out.
If I were you, I would tell him. Don't push him into a corner or anything, just TELL him what you feel, and leave the decisions up to him. Something like: "Listen, I need to tell you something. I see you staring at me sometimes, and I must confess, I like it. I like you, and was wondering if you felt the same.". Keep it short and honest. If you read that sentence you might think 'Is Adriaan mad? I can't do that!'... but I still ask you, what is the worst that can happen? He can say no, that's all! Yes, it might not be what you want to hear, but at least you will know? Don't you think that it's better to know NOW what he thinks than to keep on guessing and lying awake at night not knowing?
