AboutAdriaan Pretorius Expertise Any questions on how to come out, handling people close to you, handling the pressures of being gay in society, going out, seeking a partner, etc. are welcome. I live in South Africa and may have a unique perspective on gay live, as gays do not live openly and have been scorned for a long time here. If you need to speak to someone, and no one wants to listen, I will try my best to be a friend when you have none.
Experience I am a gay male who have lived the life as someone that had to hide it from everyone for a long time until coming out some years back. I know how it feels to be 'in' and 'out' and have had diverse experiences in relationships. I have had friends who hated gay life, gay bashers, friends who understood me.
Education/Credentials I have a postgraduate degree in Science. I have worked together with and currently work with homosexual and heterosexuals in my environment.
Question I liked a guy when we were both younger and i didn't do nothing about it . After a few years we recently met again and he is better than ever . I don't know if he is gay but i want to go out with him and i don't know what to do. what do you think i should do?
Answer Hello Adam
Well, you didn't give me much to go on here, hehe, but I'll try to give some general advice then.
I assume you two are still in contact? Are you friends? Do you talk? If not, then you need to do this step by step. You first need to find out of he is gay. You can try and find out by asking other friends you two have, maybe a female friend? They're good at knowing this kind of stuff. Or you can write him an anonymous letter, telling him that you are someone that has seen him around and wanted to know if he would be interested in going for coffee. Then you check out his reaction to the letter. Doesn't have to be a letter, can be on Facebook or myspace or something like that. The trick here is to go one step at a time. First find our if he is gay, then get a friendship going, then ask out on a date. Don't try it all at once! :-)
Write to me some more and we can figure this out together, ok?
