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Gay Life/is one more chance worth??


Hi Ted,

I am here once again to seek your unbiased opinion. below is the link of our last communication so that you have a fair idea what was going on in the past.

The thing is after his repeated cheating I could not trust him and broke up with him again and again. And third time I stood for myself and cut all the contacts. Its been two months that i haven't contacted him even once. Its he who keep on texting and letting me know that how miserable he and his life has became since I left him. He said "I am unable to have sex since you have taken away my hard on. I tried dating guys but cant keep you out of my mind. you are a heartless person that you making me suffer so much." He is begging me to come back. Yesterday, after returning with my friend from a party he caught us on way and implore to give him a chance to talk. Finally for the first time he confessed that he made a mistake and realize that how much pain he caused to me. He promised that he will not stray out ever and will always be mine. He asked me to gave him one more chance to make things work out. He said.. "I will make you happy and we will have a wonderful life together." He apologize to my flatmate also for blaming her the cause of break up. He kept on crying and finally I told him that I would think about it. I admit that I still have feelings for him but the trust has gone into drain completely. Though I want to believe that he really means whatever promises he is making yet find it hard to trust.

In the past he never accepted that what he did falls under the category of cheating since it was just "fixing a sex date but didn't do him", "phone sex with some random guy", "offering a long drive in the middle of the night to some other guy who he chatted on a dating site for the first time", "getting suc**d by one of his friend" (all these incident are something I know of and have proofs. Its not hard to believe if there were more).

Now he says that all the above said things were cheating and he would not do that again. I don't understand what to do in this situation. If it would be his one time cheating I wouldn't mind giving second chance.

Ted, you deal with such people. I am sure you know if they ever change. What is the best i can do in this situation? What is the best you would do in such a situation?

Thanking you in anticipation

People can and do change, but not quickly. Personalities evolve over long periods of time, and people do tend to become responsible and considerate of others with age. But you're not talking about a long period of time here, and I don't think it's sufficient for him to have experienced a genuine change of heart and habits. I think he's simply lying. Don't fall for it.  

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Tedd Adams


I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.

AVISO: También, puedo responder a preguntas en español.


I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above. I have also been active in the local chapter of PFLAG.

Human Rights Campaign Oklahomans for Equality Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano

Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).

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