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Gay Life/Boyfriend Moving


Hello. My name is Steve and I'm 16 years old. I'm a military child and I'm living in Asia. About a month ago I got into a relationship with another boy. He's my first boyfriend and was my first kiss, etc. Everything was going perfect until last night. Last night I found out that his parents are separating and he's moving back to the US in less than a week. I'm extremely devastated and I've been crying my eyes out. I was barely able to go to school today. However, only a few close friends and my sister know I'm gay so I can't cry at school or anywhere around my parents. I'm not sure how to cope with this and I don't know how to deal with this sudden loss. Knowing that we have to leave each other without wanting to is making me incredibly sad, and I probably won't ever see him again. What do I do? How do I cope with this?

Hi Steve

Sorry for the delayed response. I forgot to set the my availability away during the Thanksgiving holiday.

This is about as tough a situation as you could expect to face for someone of your age and stage of life experience. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

For the time being, you can lessen the sting a little bit by keeping in though through FaceTime or Skype, or similar video sharing software. I know that does not adequately replace the immediacy or intimacy of spontaneous meetings and physical affection, but it at least will not leave you in a total black hole emotionally.

If you both remain serious about each other and can stand to continue the relationship in this manner for a while, perhaps you could visit on occasion until you have a chance to live independently of your parents and then you could be reunited with him and live in the same place.

No matter what you do, I really suggest staying in touch with him, if he wants to do that also. Even if you decide it's just not sustainable, at least it will help you get through the initial hurt and sense of loss. I really do hope that you can make it work, though.

Best wishes,


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Tedd Adams


I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.

AVISO: También, puedo responder a preguntas en español.


I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above. I have also been active in the local chapter of PFLAG.

Human Rights Campaign Oklahomans for Equality Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano

Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).

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