Gay Life/i need love


What do you do when you are shy and gay? I am so lonely, I tried dating sites but there's just so much registration stuff that don't work out. I need to be connected with someone, I am in Hatfield Pretoria. I am tired of being single.

Hi David, apologies, I clicked on 'reject' instead of 'answer'!

Your question was not marked as private, so I don't want to write too much, in case you wanted to stay private. If you want to talk more, please start a new question and mark it as private please! Dating sites are quite tricky and guys on there can be very one-track minded. It often ends up being all about just finding a sex partner and nothing more, so be careful if you are on those!

If you want to make friends that are like you, you should network, don't say no to braais and parties. It's just statistics, but the more people you meet and see, the bigger the chance of meeting someone like you! There are a few steps here.

You are lonely, but does this mean you are also without any close friends? Do you have any gay friends? Just straight friends?

I live just around the corner from you in Pretoria. Why don't you send me another letter, mark it as private and I can give you some more information and answer any more questions that you might have? What is your age, for instance, because this will determine what kind of activities you can go to, to meet guys... Hope to hear from you soon!


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Adriaan Pretorius


Any questions on how to come out, handling people close to you, handling the pressures of being gay in society, going out, seeking a partner, etc. are welcome. I live in South Africa and may have a unique perspective on gay live, as gays do not live openly and have been scorned for a long time here. If you need to speak to someone, and no one wants to listen, I will try my best to be a friend when you have none.


I am a gay male who have lived the life as someone that had to hide it from everyone for a long time until coming out some years back. I know how it feels to be 'in' and 'out' and have had diverse experiences in relationships. I have had friends who hated gay life, gay bashers, friends who understood me.

I have a postgraduate degree in Science. I have worked together with and currently work with homosexual and heterosexuals in my environment.

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